No use to Man or Beast,- worst Inventions

And another thing! Vegetarian Haggis! D'is enna-buddy ken who came up wae that shite?
A vegetarian. Need I say more on vegetarians? Or just claymore vegetarians?


Either that or a canny Scot saw how many weirdos, sorry, 'potential customers' lived south of the border and recognized a business opportunity ...
 

jarrod248

LE
Gallery Guru
That leads us nicely on to quorn. What the fuck is that about, minced up cardboard made into shapes.
 
C

Crio

Guest
A vegetarian. Need I say more on vegetarians? Or just claymore vegetarians?
Fill your boots my friend. :twisted:

Can I enter a competitor for the "Terrifying and Awful Inventions" spin off?



:omg: NO ONE is to show this to my huz-band.
 
Can I enter a competitor for the "Terrifying and Awful Inventions" spin off?

Would have been useless for me, apparently. I had a habit of dismantling and getting out of things like that ... mind you, they were all at ground level. Still, I'm sure I could have improvised. I see the chappie on the left is busy eyeing up the neighbours window as an escape route ... ^^

:omg: NO ONE is to show this to my huz-band.
Why? What's it worth for him not to know how you raise his offspring :twisted:
 
C

Crio

Guest
Why? What's it worth for him not to know how you raise his offspring :twisted:
Bugger that - my child will be very well looked after. When I know where he is. And I'm sober. Probably.

I'm worried huz-band will think the above is a good idea. And knowing the genetic propensity that his half of the genetic contribution has for firmly landing in the brown smelly stuff, I don't think Bob-Junior will need any extra opportunities.

It's worth me deciding not to remove your testicles through your wallet, effendi. :twisted:
 

Cold_Collation

LE
Book Reviewer
Anything designed by that twat Dyson, £300 for piss poor quality plastic shite


"I'm afraid it's bad news Mr Collation, your wife has Dyson Syndrome."
"Dyson Syndrome? What the fcuk's that?"
"It only affects women who are married. A couple of years after the walk up the aisle, they start to emit a constant whining noise and refuse to suck."

Coat, hat, etc...
 
Back way back when, there used to be several items on sale. One of them was was called the 'See-a-back-scope'. I was a pair of dark sun glasses with little mirrors attached to the edge of the frame, so you could surreptitiously see who is following you..

Another device allows you to hear conversations from 400 metres away. So if you are a tad paranoid, when you come out of the local Whorehouse in the early hours, and you are the local Vicar, then you can hear what your neighbours are saying about you, or see who is following you down the road......
 
A

Aleegee1698

Guest
11) German Toilets, c/w "Anti-splashback" shelf, or is it to inspect your turd for worms etc. Guaranteed to leave a skid-mark, so lay bog-roll beforehand.

12) Those new European Union approved "Child-safe" lighters, cannot be operated with sweaty or wet hands

13) HDTV, when all channels transmit in non-HDTV anyway, unless of course you pay for it (FRG)

14) Most Joey-actric devices sold on QVC, "Shower Foot-rest" a device with a suction-cup for fitting to the wall so you can rest your foot on it (thats if you can get it out of the "One Foot Slipper, previously bought by yourself 2 weeks ago). "Third arm", a grasping device for extended reach that you cant hold onto because of your arthiritus.

15) Gas Patio heaters and Smoking shelters with Infra-red heaters. And Gas Barbeques. Talk about "Greenhouse effect"! If its that fucking cold, go and cook in the kitchen and sit inside in the dining-room

Thats mine for the week
 
Wind turbines.

Sit there doing feck all if it's not windy enough. Or if it's too windy. Or if it's a bit cold and icy. Or if it's too hot.

AND you need to build gas power stations anyway for the 90% of the time they're not working, as 'backup'.

Then they fall over if it's too windy or icy or sometimes just for the sheer hell of it.

Greenies - remind me of the point again?
 
Wind turbines.

Sit there doing feck all if it's not windy enough. Or if it's too windy. Or if it's a bit cold and icy. Or if it's too hot.

AND you need to build gas power stations anyway for the 90% of the time they're not working, as 'backup'.

Then they fall over if it's too windy or icy or sometimes just for the sheer hell of it.

Greenies - remind me of the point again?
It's the thought that counts. :simper:

Tofu, anyone?
 
Wind turbines.

Sit there doing feck all if it's not windy enough. Or if it's too windy. Or if it's a bit cold and icy. Or if it's too hot.

AND you need to build gas power stations anyway for the 90% of the time they're not working, as 'backup'.

Then they fall over if it's too windy or icy or sometimes just for the sheer hell of it.

Greenies - remind me of the point again?
[video=youtube;CqEccgR0q-o]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CqEccgR0q-o[/video]
YouTube - Nordtank (Vestas) wind system fail and crashes.

Ooops.
 
The 0.001% of the internet that isn't porn.

If it's been sent from my HTC Hero using Tapatalk then I'm probably pissed.
 
The 0.001% of the internet that isn't porn.
You've just made that statistic up, haven't you? I can assure you that there is no evidence that even so much as 1 in a million websites don't have porn of some kind on them - trust me on this one :twisted:

There's porn porn, technie porn, car porn and even chess sites have pawn. And don't get Cuddles going on Clown Porn.

Even allegedly "innocent" things, such as one of Canada's longest standing magazine's title - they soon changed that when the rest of the world cottoned on to their subtext.
 
M

Mark The Convict

Guest
'Easy opening' packaging which only ruptures after your enraged death-grapple has exploded the contents all over you/the stunner from Accounts who's been gagging for it/the cat/the ceiling/the wheelchair-bound mong next to you on the train into work/all of the above etc.

It has nothing to do with your convenience, and everything to do with covering the manufacturer's arse against nutters' poisoning campaigns and/or spill-slip-fall lawsuits from multi-tasking morons who are too busy to look where they're putting their stinking, malformed, ill-shod feet.

Multi-tasking morons etc. as above.

Wheelchair-bound etc. as above.

CUNTS!
 

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