No use to Man or Beast,- worst Inventions

A

Aleegee1698

Guest
#1
Is your Shed/Garage/Cellar full of things that humanity could have done without? Are your drawers and cupboards bursting at the seams with all those "gadgets" that some sad fucker bought you for Crimbo? In order of seniority:

1) Toilet-roll cosy,..............normally knitted and for some very strange reason, with a Doll on top, why oh why, is it to keep the paper warm, or keep it piss-splash free?

2) Yes, this was the next obvious choice, the Toilet-lid furry cover, no explanation available

3) The light-bulb inside a fridge, it only switches on when you open the door, and I already have a light in the kitchen

4) The OAP "One foot Slipper" (or whatever its called), fuck me, those OAPs have enough trouble walking as it is let alone having both feet in one slipper

5) "The Lunar Biro" a pen that is so efficient, you can write letters home whilst visiting the Moon, definately something that everyone needs

6) Remote-controlled In-car entertainment systems, probably caused more accidents looking for the fucking remote than smoking, eating, drinking and texting at the wheel. How lazy can you get?

7) The Zeppelin, when used as a Bomber as in WW1, not much chance really of returning home from that Sortie

8 ) Sorry, mentioned this elsewhere, but its got to be the "Leaf-Blower", must have been invented by a "neighbour from Hell" and purposely used to further annoy neighbours by making noise and blowing his shit into their gardens

9) Alcohol-Free Beer, a bit like having a wank with a condom, er,....... no, you get the jist

10) "Book-reading mirror", a device with a prism mirror for people who only lay on one side whilst reading, in order to read the left and right page without moving the book (OK, yes, I did just make that up)

Thats my ten for the week.........
 
#8
Is your Shed/Garage/Cellar full of things that humanity could have done without? Are your drawers and cupboards bursting at the seams with all those "gadgets" that some sad fucker bought you for Crimbo? In order of seniority:



4) The OAP "One foot Slipper" (or whatever its called), fuck me, those OAPs have enough trouble walking as it is let alone having both feet in one slipper
That's why there are so many broken hips amongst the over 60's - the adverts com eon and they try to hop to the kitchen to put the kettle on - CRASH!


And you can add to that list anything made by K-Tel or Ronco
 
B

Boozy

Guest
#9
those snuggie blanket things with arms are a pretty big moneyspinning con.

might as well get an old ordinary blanket and cut a hole in the middle, wear as a poncho et voila a cheap alternative...

this argument they have on their adverts about your hands being free because of the sleeves is balls - you'd have to be pretty fcuking lazy to be unable to stick your arm out from under it to switch the tv over/drink your tea. And if you're worried about cold arms, try a bloody jumper or long sleeved top!
 

ancienturion

LE
Book Reviewer
#13
All a bit silly really because everyone knows that everything in a shed is useful (or may be one day).
 
C

Crio

Guest
#16
My Mother-in-law is getting one of these for Christmas. Every year.



That's right. It's an "Avacado Saver". :slow:
 
#17
RAF Regiment.....what were they invented for?
So everyone in the Army could have somebody they could pretend they could look down on.

A minor part of their raison d'être, perhaps, but a significant morale booster for the average squaddie.
 

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