No Such Thing As Beer Goggles

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by Bonzo_Dog, Apr 20, 2009.

Welcome to the Army Rumour Service, ARRSE

The UK's largest and busiest UNofficial military website.

The heart of the site is the forum area, including:

  1. No Such Thing As Beer Goggle Says Study

    So all those who have used this excuse in the past - what's your excuse now?


    I'm trying to think of mine right now - I was sure she was a looker, honest.
     
  2. What! No-one EVER said that alcohol makes someone look attractive.. Being pished just means you're happier to bag up with a minger. Everyone knows that!
     
  3. FFS you'll be saying you can't catch the clap off toilet seats next!
     
  4. ^^ This


    All alcohol does is lowers one's standards. A munter is still a munter.
     
  5. BrunoNoMedals

    BrunoNoMedals LE Reviewer

    Read the BBC report instead - it doesn't completely miss the point of the study like this one does. All the study did was decide that beer goggles don't stop you judging age (and in fact said we overestimate regardless off pishedness). It doesn't mention anything about attractiveness - and we all know that Ace's point above is spot on there - just that "I was arrseholed and figured she was 18 yeronner" is becoming a less stable defence.

    The thread title should be alluding to a different kind of excuse, of which my favourite would be "she's drinking in a bar, tarted up to f*ck with a multipack of johnnies in her handbag, m'lud - WTF was I supposed to assume?"
     
  6. Surely you get more kudos for shagging a munter sober?!?!?
     
  7. I think what explains the situation is that we do absolutely ridiculous, sometimes dangerous things when we're batfaced. Doing the business with a complete munter being only one of them. I can't recall whether the any of the mingers I've plugged were any better looking just cos I was pished, but I do remember being at a party when a huge fat ugly crocodillapig latched onto me and practically dragged me upstairs. When we got to her bed I can recall thinking to myself, oh well, any hole's a goal and just got on with it. In the morning, when I woke up and saw where I was, and who I was with, I screamed and ran naked out of the room clutching my clothes.
    The point being, had I been sober there was absolutely no way on earth that I would of considered humping her, but the alcohol clouds our judgement and changes certain normal restrictions on our actions, thank fuck, we'd never have any fun if it wasn't for the demon drink.
     
  8. You're gay aren't you.
     
  9. They make you see the "inner beauty" of the beast.
    Yeah, right.
     
  10. To sum it up: When drunk you know what you're doing; you just can't stop yourself ;)
     
  11. What the booze does is make the blokes think they are more attractive - that's why they feel confident enough to describe a "five" as hideous, when they are a minging "three". :)
     
  12. Just roll off the munter and smile happy in the knowledge that a shiite fcuk is still better than a good w@nk. Take a snap of the her with your phone, for evidence, standing well back for the wide angle if required, wash your c0ck in her sink then leave. Job done.

    Besides - describe your worst blowjob.........FANTASTIC! And you can't do it yourself!
     
  13. You speak for yourself ;)
     
  14. What leads you to that extremely inaccurate decision, may I be permitted to enquire.

    She was really really horrid, I'll never ever forget the night, but at least the nightmares stopped.
     
  15. That'll teach you to shag your mother-in-law :D