No Sex Recently

Discussion in 'Armed Forces Jokes' started by Benjamin1876, Sep 13, 2010.

Welcome to the Army Rumour Service, ARRSE

The UK's largest and busiest UNofficial military website.

The heart of the site is the forum area, including:

  1. A company of soldiers came home from Afghanistan, and 12 members of the company came from the same small country town. They all went home in time to attend the Anzac Day March in the town, and attended the after parade drink and food session at the local RSL

    The secretary to the Mayor of the town, a very beautiful and well stacked young lady, noticed one older soldier, with a chest full of medals, standing in a corner on his own, and decided she would go talk to him.

    She said “Well, you certainly have a lot of medals, you must have seen lots of action” to which he replied “Yeh”
    So she then said “You must have been to lots of different places during your time in the Army” and his reply again was “Yeh”

    She then thought to herself, this man is either very shy or stressed, he doesn’t seem to want to talk much, so she asked him if he was married, to which he again gave a very terse “No”

    She decided she needed to help this man, so she said to him “How long is it since you had sex” to which he replied “1955”

    So she took him by the hand, led him to any empty office, and during the next hour had sex with him three times. When they finished for the third time she said, “Well, for somebody who has not had sex for so long, you certainly didn’t forget anything did you” with which he looked at his watch, noticed it was now 2130 hours, and said to her “well I couldn’t really forget much in 1 hour and 35 minutes could I”