Top night out last night, when we burned out and town subsequently emptied we all ended up hunched round a table in a Thai restaurant in Chinatown. A strange cocaine fuelled question came up, namely, if you had to fuck a bloke who would it be ? It arose from a discussion about Tarantino films and his validity as a contributory factor in the ongoing development of original and quality films. The main protagonists assertion that he would 'fuck Elvis' in the pivotal classic True Romance raised a few eyebrows but I settled on Benicio Del Toro, if I had to be positively fucked without argument by a male it would be by that bull like thespian, I couldn't think of a better way to be sodomised than by a 6" Puerto Rican with tobacco stained fingers. Other suggestions were alarmingly, 'Shane Richie' because he could make you laugh, 'Tom Sizemore' because apparently it (and I quote) 'wouldn't make you gay as he always plays meatheads' and my brother said my Uncle Shaun as he is that much of a colossus he wouldn't feel you fucking him. Bear in mind I was out with a professional boxer, 2 lunatics and a cunt struck ex para. If push came to shove who's back box would you plunder ?