No enemies

Discussion in 'Miscellaneous Jokes' started by walrus, Sep 13, 2010.

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  1. The Minister was giving a sermon on loving your neighbor and forgiving your enemies.

    Toward the end of the service, the Minister asked, 'How many of you have forgiven your enemies?'

    80% held up their hands.

    The Minister then repeated his question.

    All responded this time, except one small elderly lady.

    'Mrs. Neely?'; 'Are you not willing to forgive your enemies?'

    I don't have any.' She replied, smiling sweetly.

    'Mrs. Neely, that is very unusual. How old are you?'


    'Ninety-eight.' she replied.

    'Oh, Mrs. Neely, would you please come down in front & tell us all how a person can live ninety-eight years & not have an enemy in the world?'

    The little sweetheart of a lady tottered down the aisle,

    faced the congregation, and said:





    'I outlived the bitches.'
     
  2. There was a Spanish General (under Franco) on his deathbed - The Priest asked if he forgave his enemies.
    His reply was "I have no enemies - I had them all shot"

    (Not a joke)