Nigella Sexpress

#21
As a fellow Nigella fancier is there any chance when as a struggling new chef she may have supplemented her earnings by doing the odd porn movie or grumble shoot? In Australia we have had Elle McPhereson's sister and soapie starlet Kate Ritchie movies doing the rounds for years. My favourite was a former child star, now junkie who took one up the tradesmans and then gave the bloke a gobble. Interested arrsers should be able to obtain copies of these and other works of art from any police\fire station.
 
#22
do we have any info on her past jobs? As a pornstar maybe? The classic quotes from the program such as "Squeeze out it's meaty goodness" gave it away...
 
#26
currymunter said:
Horse faced, fat, adulterous minger with home made teeth and no breeding. Godawful. :twisted:
Don't hold back, let it all out...

Did she send back your "fan" mail because it smelt funny?
 
#29
I would love to spend the evening snorting my own semen out of her bumhole with a bendy straw, and the best bit would be you would get a banging brekkie on the morrow too.

Checklist

1 Massive jugs - Y
2 Good Brekkie - Y
3 Dirty posh voice - Y
4 Got a few quid - Y
5 Sultry dark features - Y
6 Look good with my spunk dribbling out of her bum - Y
7 Any chance being sent to get a take away when you are watching MOTD - N

Thats all my boxes ticked, any one got any tissues or a spare sock?
 
#31
filthyphil said:
As a fellow Nigella fancier is there any chance when as a struggling new chef she may have supplemented her earnings by doing the odd porn movie or grumble shoot? In Australia we have had Elle McPhereson's sister and soapie starlet Kate Ritchie movies doing the rounds for years. My favourite was a former child star, now junkie who took one up the tradesmans and then gave the bloke a gobble. Interested arrsers should be able to obtain copies of these and other works of art from any police\fire station.
a) She came from a rather well-off family
b) She has spent most of her working life as a journalist not a chef
c) Still bloody hot
 
#32
Spotted the photos from datumhead and markymoon over breakfast and you've got to admit there is something rather suggestive about the way Nigella tackles the ice-cream... :p Add in a pair of 36GG :D and her ability to cook... Where's the queue? I'll have a portion or two :D

lancslad
 

old_fat_and_hairy

LE
Book Reviewer
Reviews Editor
#33
Benny687 said:
ahh feck, my mums 47, thats put a slight downer on it. never mind i still would.

and if a fat gopping * can sack her then im in with half a chance.

il just rob the fuckers credit card first....
Your mum is 47? Can I have her phone number?
 

old_fat_and_hairy

LE
Book Reviewer
Reviews Editor
#34
theiftaker said:
She's married to one of the Saatchi's and I had to process them through security a few times at the Tory conference a couple of years ago. She was very polite as I waved the wand over her several times just to be thorough :wink: . Him I had to pat down and for a fucking bazillionaire I've got 3 pieces of advice, SOAP , WATER AND DEODERANT you fat gopping manky fatherless. Same conference I had to go through Anne Widdecombes cases, not many men can say they had a hand in her gusset. :1:
Can you think of any man who would want to? let alone admit it?
 
#36
Quote from Wikipedia:

in her newspaper articles [Nigella] consistently showed a liberal attitude to sexual morality, even seeming to come close to admitting to bisexuality...
Nigella is obviously absolute filth and rightly idolised by many on ARRSE, but is it wrong to have her daughter marked down as 'one for the future' already?

If you'll excuse me I'm just popping to the bogs for a minute or two.
 
#37
#39
The queue is actually over on the WYSFBD thread! With me at the head...I may be some time as I feel Nigella deserves anything but the express treatment...

In the meantime Nigella is channelling some love to you all!


[align=center]
[/align]

:cuddle: :cuddle:
 
Thread starter Similar threads Forum Replies Date
Mrjupp The NAAFI Bar 36
W The NAAFI Bar 311
re-stilly The NAAFI Bar 11

Similar threads

Latest Threads

Top