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Nig in the block

#1
Come across this website after hearing about the Grays Lane incident, wonder if an old sod like me is allowed to participate?

Sober version..

3 years in Army ..
spent most of my time viciously attacking fodens witha fully armed red lead paintbrush, occassionaly skirmished the vehicle park with a "Long" (broom). spent more than my share of time in the guard house, both on stag and errmmm relaxing at the OC's pleasure. However did take part in the defence of Nisi beach against those dastardly DANCON guys , and patrolled with vigour Regina Street in Nicosia. Also got to fly with those smashing chaps in the RAF and their Chinooks.. Nice guys - crap pilots !!

Drunk version ..
Was in every single battle the Army has ever fought, arriving 3 years before hostilities broke out and single handedly took out an entire division of the enemy with my mess tin, I have been awarded every single medal that Britain has got but you cant read the citations as they will be classified forever.
 
#3
1983 was the time me and the Army parted company, and too be honest at that point I doubt wether either of us was that upset...
 
#4
PJMartin said:
Drunk version ..
Was in every single battle the Army has ever fought, arriving 3 years before hostilities broke out and single handedly took out an entire division of the enemy with my mess tin, I have been awarded every single medal that Britain has got but you cant read the citations as they will be classified forever.
Bollox, that was me! Thievin' tw@!

Welcome aboard, I get the feeling you'll fit in just fine... :thumleft:
 

TheIronDuke

ADC
Book Reviewer
#5
PJMartin said:
Come across this website after hearing about the Grays Lane incident, wonder if an old sod like me is allowed to participate?
If you walked in '83 you are a spring chicken compared to some of the fossilised coffin dodgers creaking around this place. And at least one fossilised coffin dogger, but lets not go there yet.

Me and the chaps from 48 Para are sound at bottom. The rest are mostly Stealth Journalists and military reenactment types. Luck I found you so early. You can trust me. Welcome.
 
#6
PJMartin said:
1983 was the time me and the Army parted company, and too be honest at that point I doubt wether either of us was that upset...
Well ain't that spooky? I was just reading and enjoying your posts ..... made me chuckle; I picked up my new PAYE Notice of Coding, from HM Revenue & Customs, Cardiff, that arrived today ......... to see the name "P J Martin" at the bottom. :omg: So, you gonna sort that nice big refund for me, sexy .......... :wink:
 
#8
bovvy said:
Well ain't that spooky? I was just reading and enjoying your posts ..... made me chuckle; I picked up my new PAYE Notice of Coding, from HM Revenue & Customs, Cardiff, that arrived today ......... to see the name "P J Martin" at the bottom. :omg:
Now listen every thing I say from here is the gods honest truth OK, but you cant tell any one, I errr.. work for those tax people, Customs and Excercise, I wear a suit and everything. I would tell you of the things that go on but am bound by the official secrets act , and some of it so secret that we have to be blindfolded and placed in a darkened room and guarded by MI4 ( Like MI5 but licenced to kill )when working out the tax codes

But

Send £50 in used notes to
P J Martin
C/O Sunlight House for the Terminally Bewildered
Beach Front
Hawaii

and I will ensure that your tax code goes to the highest allowance possible
(note: this may take a while so dont be dissappointed if it doesnt happen with the next 24 months)

or I could just be a lying twat of a truck driver
 

Mr_Fingerz

LE
Book Reviewer
#9
TheIronDuke said:
Me and the chaps from 48 Para are sound at bottom. .
The even more secret bretheren of 49 Para? :evil:
 
#10
Cheers mate, you seem to be prone to bullsh1t, riddled with delusions of grandeur, and work for a hated body. You should fit right in.
Why bother dodging coffins, the fcuking things get you in the end.
 
#11
PJMartin said:
bovvy said:
Well ain't that spooky? I was just reading and enjoying your posts ..... made me chuckle; I picked up my new PAYE Notice of Coding, from HM Revenue & Customs, Cardiff, that arrived today ......... to see the name "P J Martin" at the bottom. :omg:
Now listen every thing I say from here is the gods honest truth OK, but you cant tell any one, I errr.. work for those tax people, Customs and Excercise, I wear a suit and everything. I would tell you of the things that go on but am bound by the official secrets act , and some of it so secret that we have to be blindfolded and placed in a darkened room and guarded by MI4 ( Like MI5 but licenced to kill )when working out the tax codes

But

Send £50 in used notes to
P J Martin
C/O Sunlight House for the Terminally Bewildered
Beach Front
Hawaii

and I will ensure that your tax code goes to the highest allowance possible
(note: this may take a while so dont be dissappointed if it doesnt happen with the next 24 months)

or I could just be a lying t**t of a truck driver

With a sense of humour like that you are going to fit right in. Welcome
 

TheIronDuke

ADC
Book Reviewer
#12
Mr_Fingerz said:
TheIronDuke said:
Me and the chaps from 48 Para are sound at bottom. .
The even more secret bretheren of 49 Para? :evil:
No offence but 49 are spit & polish glory boys. Its 48 who undertake all the deniable ops. Ever wonder why you never see a Brit uniform in Bournemouth these days? Say no more Squire, say no more.
 
#13
Thanks for the welcome..
In truth I am now a stay at home dad due to poor health, (although I reckon working would be a damn sight better for me than looking after a 2 and 4 year old)- I do a small part time job from home for a publishing house- write a few articles etc, occassionaly get sent on freebie trips
The wife is the daughter of a RAF Sqn Leader and my sister married a Foreman of Signals (damn bleep is a frigging complete pisshead and a top bloke, I blame him totaly for the state of my health) so the whole family are military minded
 

TheIronDuke

ADC
Book Reviewer
#14
PJMartin said:
write a few articles etc, occassionaly get sent on freebie trips
Er, would this involve a tabloid newspaper who's banner features a warmth giving celestial body?
 
#15
PJMartin said:
1983 was the time me and the Army parted company, and too be honest at that point I doubt wether either of us was that upset...
We're still flying the flag, mate! :twisted:

BTW, welcome to Arrse... you'll love us. Just not very much!

Litotes
 
#16
TheIronDuke said:
Er, would this involve a tabloid newspaper who's banner features a warmth giving celestial body?
I wish 8O the money would be nicer 8)

writing on technical issues on upcoming vehicle emission regulations, technical specs, new products and other such highly entertaining stuff that isprinted in technical magazines read by the vast majority of the 0.0000001% of the population who may be vaguely interested in the subject.
I also collect yellow dog turds as a hobby, work strenously to eradicate double decker buses from swimming pools and promote world peace and harmony, If I am crowned Miss World 2007 I will have illegal sex with all of the judge...... oooops wrong forum :oops:
 
#17
TheIronDuke said:
PJMartin said:
Come across this website after hearing about the Grays Lane incident, wonder if an old sod like me is allowed to participate?
If you walked in '83 you are a spring chicken compared to some of the fossilised coffin dodgers creaking around this place. And at least one fossilised coffin dogger, but lets not go there yet.


Hang on Thats Necrophilia you sick B@stard ! :slow:

I'll get my coat
 

TheIronDuke

ADC
Book Reviewer
#18
Pluvia_Plumbum said:
Hang on Thats Necrophilia you sick B@stard ! :slow:
If you only fuck the coffin its classed as a hobby. Do the contents and I think they nick you.
 
#19
Welcome,are you the sensitive type who takes things to heart?if so don't ever feel the need to post a picture of your grid in any of the photo pages because,well just have a read first!!
 
#20
PJMartin said:
Thanks for the welcome..
In truth I am now a stay at home dad due to poor health, (although I reckon working would be a damn sight better for me than looking after a 2 and 4 year old)- I do a small part time job from home for a publishing house- write a few articles etc, occassionaly get sent on freebie trips
The wife is the daughter of a RAF Sqn Leader and my sister married a Foreman of Signals (damn bleep is a frigging complete pisshead and a top bloke, I blame him totaly for the state of my health) so the whole family are military minded
So I'm not going to get a fcuking great tax refund, then, PJ? Despite a liberal dose of brown-nosing? Oh well ..... I'll go the normal channels, then. And just get what I'm entitled to. Hell of a coincidence, though. Well spooky!!!! 8O
 

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