Nig in the block

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by PJMartin, Aug 3, 2007.

Welcome to the Army Rumour Service, ARRSE

The UK's largest and busiest UNofficial military website.

The heart of the site is the forum area, including:

  1. Come across this website after hearing about the Grays Lane incident, wonder if an old sod like me is allowed to participate?

    Sober version..

    3 years in Army ..
    spent most of my time viciously attacking fodens witha fully armed red lead paintbrush, occassionaly skirmished the vehicle park with a "Long" (broom). spent more than my share of time in the guard house, both on stag and errmmm relaxing at the OC's pleasure. However did take part in the defence of Nisi beach against those dastardly DANCON guys , and patrolled with vigour Regina Street in Nicosia. Also got to fly with those smashing chaps in the RAF and their Chinooks.. Nice guys - crap pilots !!

    Drunk version ..
    Was in every single battle the Army has ever fought, arriving 3 years before hostilities broke out and single handedly took out an entire division of the enemy with my mess tin, I have been awarded every single medal that Britain has got but you cant read the citations as they will be classified forever.
  2. When did you leave?
  3. 1983 was the time me and the Army parted company, and too be honest at that point I doubt wether either of us was that upset...
  4. Bollox, that was me! Thievin' tw@!

    Welcome aboard, I get the feeling you'll fit in just fine... :thumleft:
  5. TheIronDuke

    TheIronDuke LE Book Reviewer

    If you walked in '83 you are a spring chicken compared to some of the fossilised coffin dodgers creaking around this place. And at least one fossilised coffin dogger, but lets not go there yet.

    Me and the chaps from 48 Para are sound at bottom. The rest are mostly Stealth Journalists and military reenactment types. Luck I found you so early. You can trust me. Welcome.
  6. Well ain't that spooky? I was just reading and enjoying your posts ..... made me chuckle; I picked up my new PAYE Notice of Coding, from HM Revenue & Customs, Cardiff, that arrived today ......... to see the name "P J Martin" at the bottom. :omg: So, you gonna sort that nice big refund for me, sexy .......... :wink:
  7. Join the talk.
  8. Now listen every thing I say from here is the gods honest truth OK, but you cant tell any one, I errr.. work for those tax people, Customs and Excercise, I wear a suit and everything. I would tell you of the things that go on but am bound by the official secrets act , and some of it so secret that we have to be blindfolded and placed in a darkened room and guarded by MI4 ( Like MI5 but licenced to kill )when working out the tax codes


    Send £50 in used notes to
    P J Martin
    C/O Sunlight House for the Terminally Bewildered
    Beach Front

    and I will ensure that your tax code goes to the highest allowance possible
    (note: this may take a while so dont be dissappointed if it doesnt happen with the next 24 months)

    or I could just be a lying twat of a truck driver
  9. Mr_Fingerz

    Mr_Fingerz LE Book Reviewer

    The even more secret bretheren of 49 Para? :evil:
  10. Cheers mate, you seem to be prone to bullsh1t, riddled with delusions of grandeur, and work for a hated body. You should fit right in.
    Why bother dodging coffins, the fcuking things get you in the end.

  11. With a sense of humour like that you are going to fit right in. Welcome
  12. TheIronDuke

    TheIronDuke LE Book Reviewer

    No offence but 49 are spit & polish glory boys. Its 48 who undertake all the deniable ops. Ever wonder why you never see a Brit uniform in Bournemouth these days? Say no more Squire, say no more.
  13. Thanks for the welcome..
    In truth I am now a stay at home dad due to poor health, (although I reckon working would be a damn sight better for me than looking after a 2 and 4 year old)- I do a small part time job from home for a publishing house- write a few articles etc, occassionaly get sent on freebie trips
    The wife is the daughter of a RAF Sqn Leader and my sister married a Foreman of Signals (damn bleep is a frigging complete pisshead and a top bloke, I blame him totaly for the state of my health) so the whole family are military minded
  14. TheIronDuke

    TheIronDuke LE Book Reviewer

    Er, would this involve a tabloid newspaper who's banner features a warmth giving celestial body?
  15. We're still flying the flag, mate! :twisted:

    BTW, welcome to Arrse... you'll love us. Just not very much!