Nicknames for items of kit

I remember PML when I first heard pockets refererred to as "Gloves, officers', RA". Does anyone else have such gleaming bits of wit as applied to kit? :D
Donkey's plonker
msr said:
Donkey's plonker
Is that the ptarmigan Donkeys Plonker?

There are a number of bits of Sigs kit named after fruit - pineapples and bananas spring to mind.

Anyone know where the term "Noah Lead" came from?
Bob Marley
Monkies 'n Parrots
Battsimm said:
Monkies 'n Parrots
Comes from the Raj (as with lots of Army slang) - refers to kit that hangs off you (bergans etc) and stuff you put over your shoulder (rifles etc).

There is also a view that this expression derives from St Basil discussing the importance of the catechism:

Children are like parrots and monkeys; the parrot repeats what it hears, the monkey does what it sees done. A child does the same thing
I have to say I think that's a load of b0llocks. Soldiers are like children??? Preposterous notion! ;)

My bits of kit names:

1. Crisp bag = pre-goretex 'waterproof' - yeah right! Does anyone remember the green ones (reserved for Warrant Officers only in 1 unit I served in - good to see the moral component being adhered to there!) or the really odd waterproofs with the black rubber lining?

2. John Wayne = shiny loo roll in older 24 hr rat packs.
Maggots = Sleeping System

And my personal Favourite is " SCREECH " orange, lemon powder! I can still taste it just by saying the word!
Darth - the black lined waterproofs were anti static and for use by those handling POL etc. As opposed to the crisp packets, which generated huge levels of static.

Donkey's Dick - nozzle for sucking fuel into a bowser.
Two man, twin fan aluminum (sp) pursuit ship - Tornado F3
Two palm trees fcuking a bus - Chinook
Contra-rotating death banana - Chinook
gonk - sleeping bag
Donkey dick = any rubber antenna (gets around abit this one i notice!)
Doss bag = sleeping system.
Tom = Best bit of kit we have, by far!!
Mash (i.e. sledge) Hammer, for 'mashing stuff' obviously.....
Noddy Suit......

Ration assassin - chef

Food repair kit - HP sauce (or tobasco sauce)

Daps - trainers

No Dads - ARMY issue trainers
Darth_Doctrinus said:
2. John Wayne = shiny loo roll in older 24 hr rat packs.
After the joke in which an Asian gentleman won the "Name the Loo-paper" competition I believe? Apparently "it was rough, tough and didn't take sh1t off of Indians"... :oops:
Darth_Doctrinus said:
Battsimm said:
Monkies 'n Parrots

2. John Wayne = shiny loo roll in older 24 hr rat packs.
Apparently so called 'cos it's rough, tough & takes no sh1t !

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