Nick Clegg Ebay sale

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by fairycakes, May 9, 2010.

Welcome to the Army Rumour Service, ARRSE

The UK's largest and busiest UNofficial military website.

The heart of the site is the forum area, including:

  1. http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/Nick-Clegg-/290433096884?cmd=ViewItem&pt=UK_Tickets_Tickets_LE&hash=item439f295cb4

    Question & Answer Answered On
    Q: I purchased a Chris Huhne once and left it in the living room. Came back 10 mins later and it had melted into a pool of Mazola. How do I know that this Nick Clegg won't do the same? 09-May-10
    A: You must have the early model. This item has a teflon coating so should be OK.
    Q: Hi, I am interested in bidding for this product but have a slight concern. On several occasions I have seen it displaying a sense of moral values. As I would like to use it for political purposes this would be an undesirable quality and would not fit in any `cabinet`. Does it come with a `morals` package ? If it does have morals, are they easily removed ? 09-May-10
    A: The "morals" application can be disabled if it interferes with other programmes like "Expenses" and "Paid For Holidays 2".
    Q: I've heard he's had one careful, lady owner but is this true? 09-May-10
    A: That's what the log-book says.
    Q: Hi, could I part exchange this kingmaker for a couple of antique Daves and a rusty old Paddy? 09-May-10
    A: You can keep the Dave's but I might be interested in the Paddy for my "classic collection". Can you some pix?
    Q: Can it sing? Good legs? If yes, could he also be Dorothy? Andrew would like to know. 09-May-10
    A: Andrew - If the price is right "He could be Dorothy"
    Q: that's twice you've said his label says 'Made in Eton' although according to my almanack of kingmaker hallmarks it says a true kingmaker should be 'Made in Westminster School' how do you plead? 09-May-10
    A: I think I know what's happened here. The Clegg/Cameron labels have been swapped by mistake. Sorry, guilty as charged m'lud.
    Q: Given I earn very little as a politician, and can't afford to pay you out of my wages, would we be able to do a deal where by I say you have done work for me, maybe admin or PR, and pay you that way? 09-May-10
    A: Sorry, cash or paypal only. Could you not claim it on expenses?
    Q: is he house trained?? 09-May-10
    A: Yes, he's been in the House for some time although we bearly notice.
    Q: Why is this a 5 day auction? Won't it be all over tomorrow? 09-May-10
    A: Also, advertised elsewhere....
    Q: Does it come in Brown? 09-May-10
    A: For the right price, you can have any colour you want. :eek:)
    Q: I bought David Cameron off you a few weeks ago and was VERY disappointed with the results. I will not be buying anything from you in future. Clegg or otherwise - Murdoch 09-May-10
    A: Ah the Cameron was from you. You didn't include your contact details so we had to re-advertise him. Sorry.
    Q: can you assure me that this is agenuine auction this time. I was told for months that I'd be able to bid last Thursday, but when I went to my local aution site he wasn't even listed ! 09-May-10
    A: :eek:))
    Q: How flexible is he? Can I get him to do absolutely anything? 09-May-10
    A: He's fairly easy to manipulate when warm. Bit of a knack to getting him started.
    Q: Hi I have a compatibility question. I recently recieved David Cameron and Gordon Brown through the post and put them in my Cabinet. All they did was fight and so i sent Gordon Brown back for a full refund. Would there be any compatibility issues between Nick Clegg and David Cameron in my cabinet? many Thanks 09-May-10
    A: Suggest getting a larger cabinet under a time-share deal. Helps reduce the sort of squabbling usually associated with these items.
    Q: Can he swim or will he sink - am concerned he may look like he's waving when he's drowning..? 09-May-10
    A: Comes with full bouyancy kit and Cable attachment to stop him drifting too far.
    Q: He appears to only have one limb in the photo, does he come complete with the others? 09-May-10
    A: Sorry, this is an old photo, his right arm is been traded for power and influence as we speak.
    Q: Regarding Nick Clegg's position on immigration - but given his participation in pre-election self-congratulatory political gatherings - can you tell me whether he could be truthfully advertised as "never raced or rallied"? 09-May-10
    A: I can't find any locking wire on the sump plug which is always a good indication. Does use a bit of oil but very smooth through the gears. :eek:)
    Q: Hi, Would he be safe in a lions cage? 09-May-10
    A: Should know by Monday.... :eek:)
    Q: Does the item come with a 5 year guarantee? 09-May-10
    A: "Sold-As-Seen"
    Q: Are you sure the item is genuine, only I believe the original product was programmed at Westminster and pirate versions often substitute the Eton OS by mistake? 09-May-10
    A: The label says Eton. Perhaps this one slipped through the net! I'll check the registration and come back to you.
     
  2. Gremlin

    Gremlin LE Good Egg (charities)

    Current bid £999,999.00. Class! :D

    On a side note, you should have put this in CA. It might have lasted longer!!
     
  3. Fuck up, my intention the link to be posted in the NAAFI Internet Sticky
     
  4. Awesome. 46 Bids!!