Nick, cells, pokey???

I had to laugh the other day as I noticed a sign for a parking space in camp. It was quite near the Guardroom and proudly stated that it marked the parking of the...

            "NCO i/c Custody Suite"

Am I correct in thinking this is what they call the 'nick' in this tough new modern army? I used to think that calling it the nick put over the wrong image. I just can't get the image in my head of an RSM screaming...

"Sgt! Get that man in the custody suite! NOW!!!"

I know you can delete man and insert woman but I don't even think she'd be scared.

Is this a 'one-off'? And if not, how do they get a real bed, bedside table, locker and an easy chair in one of those little 4' x 12' rooms?


What about the very glamorous indeed "Regimental Restaurant" replacing the much prefered "Cookhouse"?
Too true, but the 'cookhouse' should be improved... change of decor, better tables, comfortable chairs, friendly faces serving..... oh yes, good food and the sight of a mop every now and again. Why not change the name to 'Regimental Restaurant'  to help improve it's image.

While we're at it, why not change the name of the 'QM Stores' to 'QM Issues' and then we may be able to get some of the kit out of it for once instead of it acting as expensive dust covers for the shelves.

I can imagine overhearing the poor disgruntled 'Tom' on coming out of the 'pokey' (sorry, Custody Suite)......

"It's not fair, they only gave me 7 days! Mind you, the mini-bar just wasn't big enough for the party Saturday night!"  :eek:


I am a fond beleiver of the old style nicks and yes it is getting far to soft, after a visit to the Bermuda Regiments nick I wish we could go back sometimes but we have to abide by the european laws and any time being locked away at night and having no privacy is a deterrent..............just........but come on if you just got given 60 days detention for AWOL would you go straight to jail or take your 14 days appeal and get as far as **** away?????