Niall Quinn and Roy Keane get right out of football


Book Reviewer
Messrs Quinn and Keane decide that football is no longer the sport they enjoyed. They decide to pool their resources and set up as an independent airline. They buy a used 737 and train to be pilots.

They are all set to fly their inaugural flight from Dublin to Newcastle next week, and they take off on a familiarisation flight.

As they approach Newcastle, they get landing clearance. Niall spots the runway.

"Oi've found da runway Roy ... Bejasus it's a short one. Come and have a look."

Roy stands behind Niall and cannot believe what he sees. "Dat must be the shortest runway that's ever been built. We're going to have trouble getting this baby down on that Oi can tell yer, Niall me old mucker."

"Okay," says Niall, "here's what we'll do. I'll set the flaps and cut the engine until we're practically stalling ..."

"And I'll pray to Holy Mary, mother of God," Roy chips in.

"I'll get the wheels on the deck the instant we reach the concrete, then I'll reverse thrust the engines, launch the braking parachute and close me eyes."

"And I'll still be praying to Mother Mary."

So it comes to pass that the wheels hit runway within inches of the edge of the concrete, everything stops and the plane rolls out, stopping with its nose wheel touching the grass.

Niall wipes his brow and says, "Jesus, Roy, that was a close landing. Must be the shortest runway in the whole world."

Roy says, "Yes, but look how wide it is."

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