Next Serial Killer - Which Arrser?

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by Abner Brown, Jul 20, 2011.

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  1. As you read this, the chances are that somewhere in the UK, a serial killer is going about his work. He may be tormenting a victim in his basement, stalking the next one, or enduring nights of tense insomnia as the pressure builds up for the next kill. There may even be more than one at work and no doubt several potentials sat brooding and fantasising; edging closer to the brink.

    I reckon that sooner or later one of them will turn out to be an Arrser. We'll be sat eating our breakfast and reading the daily rag, where we'll learn that alleged serial killer____ _____ regularly posted on the Army Rumour Service under the user name ________.

    So who do you think is the most likely suspect, what's his/her modus operandi, and what drives them to do it?

    For my money it's Afghan Kandak. He cruises the North West in an (untaxed) second hand gold BMW with a variety of tat hanging from the rear view mirror. Young boys, girls and occasional prostitutes are lured/snatched into the car and never seen again. He's probably well into double figures by now, but that refers to the number of victims - not their ages. He's driven by inner rage, chronic narcissism and likes to wear Spetsnaz camo when he goes hunting. Apparantly he's been targeting the Pakistani community in particular.
     
  2. You've just watched Sherlock haven't you?
     
    • Like Like x 2
  3. Afghan Kandak is the next Javed Iqbal Mughal
     
  4. If it would spare me the deluded witterings of AMMM, I'd happily volunteer to visit his / her underground romperroom...
     
  5. TheIronDuke

    TheIronDuke LE Book Reviewer

    Can we have a Afghan Kandak Obssesion Forum?

    But back on topic, heres a proper cereal killer.

    new-holland-combine-harvester.jpg
     
    • Like Like x 12
  6. You've overlooked the possibility of there being multiple killers working simultaneously, possibly in collusion. Your A_K theory still applies, as he seems to have multiple personalities.
     
  7. I want to know which arrser killed Maddie
     
  8. Have you been spying on me you peeping tom!
     
  9. Me, I m going to catergorically kill all Arrsers cos its your fault that the world is in conflict. You are all the epitomy of evil, be it on this forum, or in your jobs as murderers for the state. But you reap what you sow...........

    I ll be starting in alphabetical order, so Zen and Zero Over, you ve still got a few posts left.

    See you in the next dark alleyway, no doubt you ll be intoxicated, so one swift blow to the cranium with my ball-pein.
     
    • Like Like x 2
  10. You know what...not only do you pose as another member of this forum who happens to be a condi loving cunt...but in reality you look like this

    3469421.jpg

    Plus disposing of the boys in acid, isnt my thing! makes me look abit too obvious, doesnt it, plus what would the council say over the mountain of Chapals in the bin!
     
  11. Serial killer? That's soooo 90's

    Spree killing is the way forward for all the cool kids.

    Rack up as many sinners as you can in the shortest time possible like arcade mode on COD 4. Extra points for leaving a video on YouTube which makes MP's call for the banning of various computer games and movies.

    Spree killing hall of game if you replicate the Moscow airport level.


    Not that I've given it that much thought.








    Today anyway.
     
    • Like Like x 1
  12. TheIronDuke

    TheIronDuke LE Book Reviewer

    Glad you asked. Sort your sig would you? If that pastey fat fish faced fuck does it for you, rock on son. But it takes me 0.28 seconds to scroll over it and I am a busy man. Cheers.
     
  13. Yeah... It looks like you've been caught in the beam of a Maglite in your cellar giving the Invisible Man a J.Arthur.....
     
  14. Vignetting is soo 80's anyway...
     
  15. I've been sat in my bedsit obsessively reading my (large) collection of tatty paperbacks and crime magazines about murderers...
     
    • Like Like x 1