New Zealand awesomeness or shittiness

I travelled down Under in 2003 and stayed in Aukland for 3 days before travelling over to Sydney, NSW. The local surbuban railways in both Auckland and Sydney were so heavily graffittied, it was even worse than Londinistan.
 
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A classic Kiwi movie about poverty/ Maoris/ alcoholism/ domestic violence. Worth a watch.

Once were warriors.

I liked the movie but it was utterly unflinching in its portrayal of the family & their surroundings as almost an underclass. The director, Lee Tamahori, went on to do a Bond film "Die another day".
 
From the truly dreadful Kiwi lagers I tried many years ago, I'm tempted to put a P' in front of your Tui, but having had a chuckle at the advertising and their website, I'll reserve opinion until I can give it a try.
Do people still drink Steinlager? I used to love that as a student in London - I lived in a house full of Kiwis. I was the token Pom & had a lot of fun in that house!
 
You don't see many good looking Kiwi women, at least compared to their chippier neighbours to the North.

And they pronounce "bed" as "beard".
 
A few years ago while touring NZ we stayed in a one-horse town and in the evening I asked the motel owner about getting something to eat. He had a second look at me then said "There's a couple of Maori women down the road that do fish and chips; you could try there."

The Chippie consisted of a large vat of hot oil, some boxes and the aforementioned Maori women. They were about as wide as they were tall, facially tattooed in their fashion and definitely not to be argued with at all.

I asked for Fish and chips and one put the chips on while the other rummaged in one of the boxes and produced a very large and fresh fish for my approval. Discretion was the better part of valour so I nodded and she proceeded to gut, batter and fry it.

They were the best fish and chips we ever tasted but there again why shouldn't they be.
 
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A few years ago while touring NZ we stayed in a one-horse town and in the evening I asked the motel owner about getting something to eat. He had a second look at me then said "There's a couple of Maori women down the road that do fish and chips; you could try there."

The Chippie consisted of a large vat of hot oil, some boxes and the aforementioned Maori women. They were about as wide as they were tall, facially tattooed in their fashion and definitely not to be argued with at all.

I asked for Fish and chips and one put the chips on while the other rummage in one of the boxes and produced a very large and fresh fish for my approval. Discretion was the better part of valour so I nodded and she proceeded to gut, batter and fry it.

They were the best fish and chips we ever tasted but there again why shouldn't they be.
You're making that up: he, and they, would have said 'fush and chups', and asked if you wanted a sux pack of steinie to go with it, eh tiger.
 
You're making that up: he, and they, would have said 'fush and chups', and asked if you wanted a sux pack of steinie to go with it, eh tiger.
You're making that up, there's no way anyone in a one horse town in NZ would drink Steinie's. DB, Speights, Tui or Lion Red would be believable. You'd only find Steinlager in 3 horse towns with oil fuelled street lamps!!!
 
You don't see many good looking Kiwi women, at least compared to their chippier neighbours to the North.

And they pronounce "bed" as "beard".
They also pronounce 'deck' as 'dick'. Do not be afraid if a Kiwi asks you to sit on his dick for a drink!!!!!
 
Youngest daughter has been there 10 years, now a citizen. We went over in February 2016, probably saw more of NZ than many Kiwis, drivers are courteous, will stop at the crossing for pedestrians, wine is quite good, almost RSA standard, weather was great, Te Papa museum in Wellington and RNZAF museum on South Island both fantastic. Houses are lightweight due to seismic activity.
Wanted to show Christchurch cathedral, but it must be too big.
 

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