NEW YEAR RESOLUTION

#1
I have yet to decide what I will give up or start doing for my New Year resolution. I am after some good ideas - not that I am short of options as a semi-alcoholic smoking pie eater. What concerns me is I have only 17 more days to overindulge in something before Jan 1.

What should I binge on 'til then to have my last fill? Of course the normal (Chrimbo) levels of smoke drink and lard are a given :donut: . What will be your last stand of joy?
 

TheIronDuke

ADC
Book Reviewer
#2
Some years ago I decided that the line "Its only gay if you are the reciever" was probabally a lie. So I gave up homming. Then they legalised homming.

I packed in binge drinking because I found my liver was a necessary accessory. They introduced 24 hour pub opening.

I decided that the odd herbal cigarette of my own construction was a younger mans passtime. They downgraded tack to a Class 'C' drug.

So, on the basis of past experience I intend to give up marathon bondage sessions with Swedish nurses.
 
#3
Given that my beloved has already beaten the smoking out of me and is currently to be heard muttering something about "stapling the fat cnuts stomach" most evenings, I think that decent nosh is off the menu for the foreseeable future, then the ultimate ingidnity just as I was settling firmly into my role as Fat Civvy Tw@t she decides to retrain as a Personal Trainer, Oh Fcuk me I married a Gym Queen wannabe!!

There is only one vice left to me I fear, winding the Mother-in Law up into a frenzy, so that what I shall be over indulging in this Festive Season, so any good suggestions warmly welcomed, wanking in the Xmas pud mixture wiping your arrse on her best towls that kind of thing;-)
 
#5
Fuct - you should put a blob of Arrse candy on her hoop earings - not only will it stink like hell, it should also give her a nasty ear infection. People with ear infections are great fun to watch. Failing that you can always pretend to be off your face on booze and spit in her face.
 
#8
I think I'll start smoking again as my resolution.

I do miss it.
 
#11
To start shooting my load over my wife's tits.
To stop using lube on her when I have bumsex.
To stop her using lube on me when I have bum sex (with her). She uses a dildo and is not a ladyboy from Hartlepool or any other location.
 
#13
i resolve to give back maddie (im just missing a few pieces)
 
#14
dingdangdoforme said:
Fuct - you should put a blob of Arrse candy on her hoop earings - not only will it stink like hell, it should also give her a nasty ear infection. People with ear infections are great fun to watch. Failing that you can always pretend to be off your face on booze and spit in her face.
Now when I first read this I thought - His Ma in Law has got earings on her hoop!

I actually found this made me strangely aroused in the nether regions :twisted:
 
#15
To continue to live in a coutry where we all speak English and can practice the Christian faith!

Elect a New Government!

To ensure we are not going to be a Republic by the end of this governments action with Europe!
 
#16
CharlieBubbles said:
To continue to live in a coutry where we all speak English and can practice the Christian faith!

Elect a New Government!

To ensure we are not going to be a Republic by the end of this governments action with Europe!
Hmmmm how about a dictionary instead my dear? :-D



Edited because I am such a mong when operating sans cafe!
 
#17
flowers said:
CharlieBubbles said:
To continue to live in a coutry where we all speak English and can practice the Christian faith!

Elect a New Government!

To ensure we are not going to be a Republic by the end of this governments action with Europe!
Hmmmm how about dictionary instead my dear? :-D
So long as it includes a Grammar section, so the use of apostrophes, nouns and verbs can be practised. It's such good practice!
 
#18
Mr_Deputy said:
Hmmm are you to going to fight this out in a big pool of jelly?


(Must give up pooon.)
So long as it's orange jelly. With mandarins.

And anyone who wants to watch gives five hundred quid to Minister_doh_nut's Christmas Kindnesses (aka hamster appeal).
 

Alsacien

MIA
Moderator
#19
CharlieBubbles said:
To continue to live in a coutry where we all speak English and can practice the Christian faith!

Elect a New Government!

To ensure we are not going to be a Republic by the end of this governments action with Europe!
Where is that then :? New Zealand :?
 

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