New Virus Thing

#1
I will admit to manflu.

I will admit to puking and having the shites.

I will admit to having a week off work because feck me, I tried the 24hrs off with just drinking council pop, and not eating. I don't need that. My BMI is 18.

I will admit to nearly being admitted to hozzy.

When does it stop?

I am bored with it now, it is stopping me watching Shameless.
 
#2
You shouldnt have swallowed ;-)
 
#3
Bossdog said:
You shouldnt have swallowed ;-)
I'm not that ill enough to call you a wanker xxxx
 
#4
The_Snail said:
Bossdog said:
You shouldnt have swallowed ;-)
I'm not that ill enough to call you a wanker xxxx
What I do in my own time is my business :p
 
#5
#6
So you are looking for sympathy is that it? None here. :p
 
#7
Bossdog said:
So you are looking for sympathy is that it? None here. :p
I don't want sympathy. I want a magic cure, and quickly. My BMI is dropping by the minute, trust me on this.

Honestly though, it's like my body is not listening to my head:

Hello belly, this is head, send sitrep.

"Can't hear you, fingers in my tummy button, tra la la la la la look at the rain, is that the sink? I like looking at the sink from the inside of your throat. Tra la la, can't hear you Jeffrery, lets go for a shite. Forget Lucozade I shite it. Parrots won't help either, I'll keep this up and you will end up in the med centre in Bassingbourne with all the other sickies"

Belly, pack it in, it's no fun anymore.
Flowers, (I like freesias) on my demise, may be sent to Bigbird67.

Goodbye cruel world, I'm off to either die or watch Jeremy Kyle in my scanties.
 
#8
The_Snail said:
Bossdog said:
So you are looking for sympathy is that it? None here. :p
I don't want sympathy. I want a magic cure, and quickly. My BMI is dropping by the minute, trust me on this.

Honestly though, it's like my body is not listening to my head:

Hello belly, this is head, send sitrep.

"Can't hear you, fingers in my tummy button, tra la la la la la look at the rain, is that the sink? I like looking at the sink from the inside of your throat. Tra la la, can't hear you Jeffrery, lets go for a shite. Forget Lucozade I shite it. Parrots won't help either, I'll keep this up and you will end up in the med centre in Bassingbourne with all the other sickies"

Belly, pack it in, it's no fun anymore.
Flowers, (I like freesias) on my demise, may be sent to Bigbird67.

Goodbye cruel world, I'm off to either die or watch Jeremy Kyle in my scanties.
Can I have your dog and your house?

edited to add : I don't want your car - if I need a skip I'll hire one.
 
#9
theoriginalphantom said:
The_Snail said:
Bossdog said:
So you are looking for sympathy is that it? None here. :p
I don't want sympathy. I want a magic cure, and quickly. My BMI is dropping by the minute, trust me on this.

Honestly though, it's like my body is not listening to my head:

Hello belly, this is head, send sitrep.

"Can't hear you, fingers in my tummy button, tra la la la la la look at the rain, is that the sink? I like looking at the sink from the inside of your throat. Tra la la, can't hear you Jeffrery, lets go for a shite. Forget Lucozade I shite it. Parrots won't help either, I'll keep this up and you will end up in the med centre in Bassingbourne with all the other sickies"

Belly, pack it in, it's no fun anymore.
Flowers, (I like freesias) on my demise, may be sent to Bigbird67.

Goodbye cruel world, I'm off to either die or watch Jeremy Kyle in my scanties.
Can I have your dog and your house?

edited to add : I don't want your car - if I need a skip I'll hire one.
From someone medical, I expected better.

In fact, feck it, the last sympathy I got off you was when you let Mrs Toppers hold my hair out of my own sick, and you laughed like a twat, whilst Cider Glider shat in my kitchen sink.

Was that really last Christmas?
 
#10
and why is Lucozade sticky?
 
#11
YOU would expect sympathy from ME? You really are ill then. The sympathy was for Mrs Toppers who cleared up your sick, and for your dog (what dawg?) who ran away from your bed.

This doesn't tell us who is in your will, and what do they get?
 
#12
theoriginalphantom said:
YOU would expect sympathy from ME? You really are ill then. The sympathy was for Mrs Toppers who cleared up your sick, and for your dog (what dawg?) who ran away from your bed.

This doesn't tell us who is in your will, and what do they get?
To Bootiful, I leave my belly
To Bigburd I leave Flash the Provost and choclit crispies
Drumstick lollies to all
To Sniffy, Aniseed Balls
To Toppers, the gardener and all bills (you can have the fecking house, I care not - look at the clip of the carpet in the living room)
To Fluffybunny: the Old Charm stuff (step away Toppers it cost me a fortune and I've "ruined" it.
To Mr Slug: Go on, have the dog back, if you can catch the fecker and find him. Arr arrr.

Juniorslug gets the rest. Unless MDN can auction it off and get some pennies.

P.S. It's all ruined. Those M&S couches can tell a story or seven!
 

B_AND_T

LE
Book Reviewer
#13
Have you got a playstation?
 
#14
B_AND_T said:
Have you got a playstation?
I used to.








When I was about 23. A very long time ago.

Don't start me.

My abs are ace though. I have a belly like a biafran (shut up Bigbird). The only feeling I can relate this to is when I had D&V in Basra. I thought I was dying there as well. Thank goodness they had that little wee thing next to the shitter in the portaloos. Puking and choclit drops at the same time.

Can I just have a little bit of sympathy please?
 
#16
only once we get a copy of your will, in proper writing
You just want the dog. Selfish git. Would you pick his eye snot out?
 
#17
i usually do, and I wanted the house too (that dawg needs somewhere to live after all)
 

B_AND_T

LE
Book Reviewer
#19
What annoys me is that Sluggy comes on here wanting sympathy but wont even divvy up her property properly.
 
#20
B_AND_T said:
What annoys me is that Sluggy comes on here wanting sympathy but wont even divvy up her property properly.
thats ok, I've got the keys to her gaff (Gaff, not gash) we could go round this weekend and trash it in protest. Don't bother with the tellys or video player, they are all shite. The sky box is ancient and the PC works about as well as Sven.
There may still be a dead bird in the garage.
 
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