New uses for mongs

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by Bullet Sponge, Nov 20, 2007.

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  1. Ok the military application of mongs has been done to death so what we need are some new and ingenious uses for the back log of mmlllaaring spackers we currently have in the UK.

    So far I have come up with:

    1. Some sort of suction based window cleaner for sky scrapers. This would involve breading mongs with big lips that could then be suckered onto the top floor windows and left to work their way down. Each office would have to have a picture of some ice cream in it to ensure that the mong gets a good slather on, this would not only aid in cleaning the window but also lubricate the mongs descent.

    2. Automatic floor cleaner for laminate or wood flooring, all we'd have to do is condition the mong to think that wood or laminate flooring is more desirable than a window and BINGO instant floor cleaner, just trip it to the floor and off it goes.

    Get your thinking caps on, this could make us rich. :)
  2. The first assault wave for Op Persian Freedom?
  3. Stop it with the military stuff, we need to make money not piles of bodies. :roll:
  4. We could use them to implement the roll out of DII F!!!!!
    Save a fortune!
    Get it right on time and to budget!
    Sack hundreds of whining civil servant dweebs!

    And make loads of dosh selling the vid of the 'special teams' let loose in a large building clutching expensive computers.......hmmmm....hang on a sec...that is what JHQ looks like now. Argh!!!!!!!!!!!
  5. It would appear that for once the MoD is way ahead of us and has been using mongs to design and roll out JPA form the very start. :(
  6. Biped

    Biped LE Book Reviewer

    I've always fancied mong-pin bowling.
  7. two uses spring to mind

    we could use them as sleeping policemen instead of the usual tar. that way we could save energy and not enlarge the hole in the ozone by producing greenhouse gases. they could be easily replaced when worn down.

    we could also give them shiny uniforms, some tricycles and use them as postmen. it would be cheap as we could pay them with balloons and tubs of ice cream. that way they get a bit of exercise, we get a decent postal service, they wont want to go on strike and the money saved in wages for them can be passed on to our boys in the sandpit. everyones a winner.
  8. Lots of money in oil. Not that that's what we'll be going in for, of course.

    Heaven forfend...
  9. You've hit on a good point but you aren't thinking outside of the box. Yes there is good money in oil so what we could do is collect up all the mongs that have been broken or worn out by other uses, chuck them in a vat, render them and then produce our own mong oil. We could solve the problem of dwindling fossil fuel reserves over night. :)

    There could be a whole range of products.

    Mong Candles
    Mong Makeup
    Mong Fuel
    Mong Soap

    The list is endless.

    Hmmmm it needs a slogan.

    That should do the trick. :lol:
  10. A housefull in the Big Brother house could be worth viewing :D
  11. Big brother has had a house full of mongs every year since it was first aired. :D
  12. Obviously EDS were several steps ahead of us, the JPAC appears to be staffed entirely by mongs.
  13. As replacement sucker fish in giant aquariums would look cool stuck to the inside of the tank a few bangs of the glass on the outside should see the mong in a frenzy and off to bite some sharks
  14. Alternatively, we could sell them as seen to the combatants, either for use as POL or in their natural state. Then there really would be WMD in Iran.
  15. You sir, are a bandwagon jumping Mong. I am outraged!