New UK Competition


War Hero

Good morning and welcome to a brand new edition of 'ASYLUM'.

Today's program features another chance to take part in our exciting
competition: Hijack an airliner and win a council house! We've already
given away hundreds of millions of pounds and thousands of dream homes,
courtesy of our sponsor the British Taxpayer. And don't forget, we're now
the fastest growing game on the planet.

Anyone can play, provided they don't already hold a valid British passport,
and you only need one word of English: 'ASYLUM'!.

Prizes include all-expenses-paid accommodation, cash benefits starting
at £180 a week and a chance to earn thousands more begging, mugging
and accosting drivers at traffic lights. This competition is open to
everyone buying a ticket or stowing away on one of our partner
airlines, ferry companies or Eurostar.

No application ever refused reasonable or unreasonable. All you have
to do is destroy all your papers and remember the magic password:

Few years ago 140 members of the Taliban family from Afghanistan were
flown Goat Class from Kabul to our international gateway at Stansted
where local law Enforcement officers were on hand to fast-track them
to their luxury £200-a-night rooms in the fabulous four star Hilton
Hotel. They join tens of thousands of other lucky winners already
staying in hotels all over Britain .

Our most popular destinations also include the White Cliffs of Dover
and the world famous Toddington Services area In Historic

If you still don't understand the rules, don't forget there's no need
to phone a friend or ask the audience, just apply for legal aid.
Hundreds of lawyers, social workers and counsellors are waiting to
help. It won't cost you a penny, so play today; it could change your
life forever.

Iraqi terrorists, Afghan dissidents, Albanian gangsters, pro-Pinochet
Activists, anti-Pinochet activists, Kosovan drug-smugglers, Tamil
tigers, bogus Bosnians, Rwandan mass murderers, Somali
guerrillas...COME ON DOWN!

Get along to the airport, get along to the lorry park, get along to
the ferry terminal. Don't stop in Germany or France .. Go straight to
Britain and you are guaranteed to be one of tens of thousands of lucky
winners in the softest game on earth.

Everyone's a winner, when they play 'ASYLUM'.