New UK Competition

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by Ralf, Jul 2, 2008.

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    Good morning and welcome to a brand new edition of 'ASYLUM'.

    Today's program features another chance to take part in our exciting
    competition: Hijack an airliner and win a council house! We've already
    given away hundreds of millions of pounds and thousands of dream homes,
    courtesy of our sponsor the British Taxpayer. And don't forget, we're now
    the fastest growing game on the planet.

    Anyone can play, provided they don't already hold a valid British passport,
    and you only need one word of English: 'ASYLUM'!.

    Prizes include all-expenses-paid accommodation, cash benefits starting
    at £180 a week and a chance to earn thousands more begging, mugging
    and accosting drivers at traffic lights. This competition is open to
    everyone buying a ticket or stowing away on one of our partner
    airlines, ferry companies or Eurostar.

    No application ever refused reasonable or unreasonable. All you have
    to do is destroy all your papers and remember the magic password:

    Few years ago 140 members of the Taliban family from Afghanistan were
    flown Goat Class from Kabul to our international gateway at Stansted
    where local law Enforcement officers were on hand to fast-track them
    to their luxury £200-a-night rooms in the fabulous four star Hilton
    Hotel. They join tens of thousands of other lucky winners already
    staying in hotels all over Britain .

    Our most popular destinations also include the White Cliffs of Dover
    and the world famous Toddington Services area In Historic

    If you still don't understand the rules, don't forget there's no need
    to phone a friend or ask the audience, just apply for legal aid.
    Hundreds of lawyers, social workers and counsellors are waiting to
    help. It won't cost you a penny, so play today; it could change your
    life forever.

    Iraqi terrorists, Afghan dissidents, Albanian gangsters, pro-Pinochet
    Activists, anti-Pinochet activists, Kosovan drug-smugglers, Tamil
    tigers, bogus Bosnians, Rwandan mass murderers, Somali
    guerrillas...COME ON DOWN!

    Get along to the airport, get along to the lorry park, get along to
    the ferry terminal. Don't stop in Germany or France .. Go straight to
    Britain and you are guaranteed to be one of tens of thousands of lucky
    winners in the softest game on earth.

    Everyone's a winner, when they play 'ASYLUM'.