New Uber-Walt

Discussion in 'The Intelligence Cell' started by cpunk, Jun 19, 2006.

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  1. cpunk

    cpunk LE Moderator

    Laydeez and Gennelmen,

    May I present the latest mega-Walt Niall Arden.

    As you will see from the book synopsis, he's a pretty tough hombre and here's what he says about himself on his agent's web-site:

    Alas the truth is slightly more prosaic. I won't use his real name here - yet - but I can tell you that in reality, his only commissioned service in the British Army was a 10-month period as a probationary 2nd Lt in the Essex ACF in 1990. :D

    My sources tell me that his advance for this book was a high-ish five-figure sum. Under his real name, a previous book he had written about how the Pyramids were some kind of markers for extra-terrestrials had to be withdrawn after five days because of multiple complaints of plagiarism. His advance for that one was not unadjacent to £75,000.

    No one escapes the curse of Arrse!
     
  2. So he was in the cadets and saw action in Iraq wow, when I was in the cadets we never went on Ops.
     
    • Like Like x 1
  3. That was in your day, in the current climate of defence cuts, "over-stretch" and utilising all our reserve forces the cadets are very much used for frontline duties. Didn't you notice them making up the numbers at trooping of the colour too?
     
  4. we did i was 14 when i had my first "K" kill, by the time i was 17 and joined the "special" Royal Corps of cadet killers i had knacked 68, margret thatch has a picture of me on her telly, and tony blair keeps ringing me to ask me to draw him a picture of a dog or horse. but then again its not like it used to be in the cadets who were (when i was in) the countries "silent" killers.
     
  5. Damn I left in 2000 could of been in Kosovo with my elite regiement of Pathfinders killing commies and Serbs with Andie McNab and Ross Kemp.
     
  6. kemp, he was my crewman, shite he was, couldn't get the head to chest shot ratio correct!
     
  7. Our cadet unit was affiliated with 49 PARA so we got to go on some of their operations.

    Of course it was a bit limited, during term time we could only go on the night ops because we had to be back for school the next day.
     
  8. chrisg46

    chrisg46 LE Book Reviewer

    Someone please review his book on Amazon??
     
  9. Just tried but their system is down.
     
  10. J_D

    J_D LE

    Did they have child labour in your day? Or were you lot just sent down the mines for sh*ts n giggles?
     
  11. Who is this cnut cpunk? Give us his name... dunno why, but this really grips me. Being a Walt is one thing, but this is obscene and makes me want to tie him to the bonnet of a vehicle in Bagdad.
     
  12. Ah! Balders old chap!

    Something tells me you don't have a bullet with his name on it then!
     
  13. Amazing how the review section still doesnt work! They dont want the truth to be out ha ha!
     
  14. Good bloody idea!... I think I might start a library ... come on cpunk - wassisname!
     
  15. woopert

    woopert LE Moderator

    Just wait until cpunk posts the follow up where he claims, in defence of being "walted" that 5 copies of his book were found in OBL's cave in the Tora Bora and the NSA think he used them as a planning guide for 9/11. Ergo the NSA invited Mr Arden in for a "chat sans tea and biccies". He then mumbles on about writing his books as a cover for black ops that the NSA forced him to do.. or some such bollox.