New Religion!

#1
Right, thats it Im fucked off with everyone winging and whining about other peoples sky pixies and their belief systems.

I suggest we start a new Religion and i want suggestions as to "Our Sky Pixie says we " have to, cant do, must only do etc etc.

Once finalised i will need 10,000 people to sign up to it at the time of the next census and we will have our very own recognized religion with which we can cause havok.

In your own time carry on.
 
#2
Didn't a few hundred thousand say they were Jedi only for the goverment to ignore it?

If not, I'd like our sky pixie to allow me to mock other people sky pixies without having some boring throbber drone on about how intolorant/prejudice I am.
 
#3
Must eat custard out of a young nubile virgins bellybutton!!
 
#4
Why not make ARRSE a religion
 
#7
Ludicrous Sky-Pixie of ARRSE Commandment number 54:

"Anyone who doth slate thy thirst with a pint glass tankard with a handle, shall be condemned as a beard-wearing member of the campaign for real ale. He shalt be taken to the pub car park, and have a Ford Mondeo lowered upon his skull until he est dead-eth"

Just a pet hate of mine, alright?
 
#8
BiscuitsAB said:
tropper66 said:
Why not make ARRSE a religion
what the fucking hell did I just propose? is it me? can I make my self any fcuking clearer? I propose that my new ARRSE sky pixie curses anyone that states the obvious with dripping syph. :p
:D
So that's one philosophy sorted, non-benevolence.

Is it Him or just his prophet's (BAB) definition that is vengeful? Because if it's his prophet then I'm going to start a schism.
 
#9
BrandySoured said:
BiscuitsAB said:
tropper66 said:
Why not make ARRSE a religion
what the fucking hell did I just propose? is it me? can I make my self any fcuking clearer? I propose that my new ARRSE sky pixie curses anyone that states the obvious with dripping syph. :p
:D
So that's one philosophy sorted, non-benevolence.

Is it Him or just his prophet's (BAB) definition that is vengeful? Because if it's his prophet then I'm going to start a schism.
Im not a prophet Im just a very naughty oh hang on that something else ;-)


Excellent not even got the fucker off the ground and we have a proposed schism. you get 10,000 I'll get 10,000 then we can re-unify and really cause Kaos.

But my lot are banned from BBQ'ing vegtables. its for MEAT only ok!
 
#10
Aunty Stella said:
I can't.

It would make a mockery of my legally entered religion on the Census of "Jedi"

Any none Jedi out there, I KILL YOU
Jedi is not a recognised religion in the UK.

You Jedi religious walt.
 
#11
What's the consensus on the Emperor Mong? Does he sit on the right hand of the Sky Pixie or is he a fallen angel, the evil one, the great deceiver, Lucifer, the source of all evil?

And what's the score with your religious dress? If it's jeans and tee shirt I'm in, otherwise I remain Sky Pixie agnostic.

Anyway, if He, or His son, wants me for a sunbeam, he'll have to come to me in a vision tonight; preferably of one of the blondes in Hollyoaks who needs some immaculate conception and a promise that the CSA (and my wife) won't find out.
 

Trans-sane

LE
Book Reviewer
#13
BiscuitsAB said:
BrandySoured said:
BiscuitsAB said:
tropper66 said:
Why not make ARRSE a religion
what the fucking hell did I just propose? is it me? can I make my self any fcuking clearer? I propose that my new ARRSE sky pixie curses anyone that states the obvious with dripping syph. :p
:D
So that's one philosophy sorted, non-benevolence.

Is it Him or just his prophet's (BAB) definition that is vengeful? Because if it's his prophet then I'm going to start a schism.
Im not a prophet Im just a very naughty oh hang on that something else ;-)


Excellent not even got the fucker off the ground and we have a proposed schism. you get 10,000 I'll get 10,000 then we can re-unify and really cause Kaos.

But my lot are banned from BBQ'ing vegtables. its for MEAT only ok!


What about the onion and pepper on a kebab???
 
#14
#15
In my Religion we are allowed to burn Daily Mail readers and people who drive wearing hats (uniform excepted). It is my ecumenical duty to encourage the paranoia of conspiracy theorists and encourage bloggers to depart from nature's productive flow by writing yet more crap that others never read.

My articles of faith (to be carried at all times) are:

A small knife used for slashing the tyres of blinged up Saxos.
Pocket lint.
A battered 'devotional' iPhone containing uplifting technicolour cinematographs of acts of selfless love and devotion.
A hipflask of homemade mulberry gin.
 
#16
stacker1 said:
Aunty Stella said:
I can't.

It would make a mockery of my legally entered religion on the Census of "Jedi"

Any none Jedi out there, I KILL YOU
Jedi is not a recognised religion in the UK.

You Jedi religious walt.
But I legally entered it. Just because Gordon doesn't recognise Master Yoda as a deity doesn't make him any less real you damn ignorant godless infidel pagan idol worshipping bad man.

You are on the list. I KILL YOU
 
#17
BrandySoured said:
BiscuitsAB said:
tropper66 said:
Why not make ARRSE a religion
what the fucking hell did I just propose? is it me? can I make my self any fcuking clearer? I propose that my new ARRSE sky pixie curses anyone that states the obvious with dripping syph. :p
:D
So that's one philosophy sorted, non-benevolence.

Is it Him or just his prophet's (BAB) definition that is vengeful? Because if it's his prophet then I'm going to start a schism.
Splitter! :D
 
#18
I know this is the NAAFI, but let’s have a little respect, eh? There IS only one true God and He is made of pasta (and meatballs, obviously).

All this talk of the ARRSE god and Jedi gods is a blasphemy against Him and his Noodle-iness.

For is it not written that “He shall smite the disbelievers or at least give them an upset tummy, the utter bastards”?

No, it isn’t, except that I’ve just written it, which isn’t the same.

Verily, many claim the one true church, but this one’s truer and tastier:

http://www.venganza.org/
 
#20
Well, I've looked at it from all sides and if I'm going to get religion I'm going back to the beginning, back to the days of Ancient Greece. Dionysus is the God of wine and drunkards, so he'll do for me. Party on down is the first commandment.

The Maends are Dionysus's female worshippers and the word literally translates from the Greek as 'the raving ones'. Which probably tells us all we need to know about them.
 

Similar threads

Latest Threads