Discussion in 'REME' started by kernow1977, May 5, 2009.

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  1. With the PAAB changing from five days, to three days and most recently to one day, I have devised a 'Tiffy Test' that consists of merely eight questions.
    This will allow potential artificers to carry out an online PAAB at their home units without the necessity of attending a course at Bordon. Successful applicants can then be invited to attend an interview at a later date. Enough waffle, on with the test. Your feedback is appreciated......

    Question 1

    During an O Group, the OC asks for eight personnel for fatigues party at the weekend. What do you reply?

    A - My boys will do that! Unfortunately I won't be able to make it as I have made prior arrangements.

    B - Don't look at me. My lads did the last bone task over a weekend.

    C - Will they get paid time and a half?

    Question 2

    Which of the following do you prefer? Meetings. Briefings. O Groups. Conferences.

    A - All of them! More face time with the boss!

    B - Can we just get on with some work?

    C - What's an O Group?

    Question 3

    What is Visio?

    A - An awesome software application that allows me to create endless flow charts.

    B - That blonde chick that massages my broken, downgraded body.

    C - A Spanish bankcard.

    Question 4

    Which is the most important - COSHH, Lifting Tackle, Publications, HASAW 1974, Currency & Competency.

    A - According to DEME(A)s website...........blah blah blah

    B - What? I'll let you know when I have finished changing this gearbox

    C - No idea

    Question 5

    The Brigadier is coming to visit. What do you do?

    A - Ensure the office and shopfloor are pristine with no sign of any work taking place in case the lads make a mess.

    B - Book a dental appointment.

    C - Who?

    Question 6

    What is the REME strapline?

    A - "Supporting Equipment Capability in the Army"

    B - "Fixing broken kit, whatever it is"

    C - What's REME?

    Question 7

    y(x) = (x+2)3. Differentiate this function (without multiplying out the brackets)

    A - dy/dx=3(x+2)2.(1)=3(x+2)2

    B - Do I need a calculator for this?

    C - I studied English Literature at college

    Question 8

    What is your long-term ambition?

    A - I'd love a job at Abbey Wood!

    B - Sergeant

    C - Wouldn't mind being the boss one day


    Mostly As

    Artificer! Congratulations, look forward to spending half of your career on courses and the other half up the OCs arse. As well as the world-famous Artificer training at Bordon, such delights as COSHH assessor, Health & Safety At Work Manager, External Auditor, Director Of AESPs are just around the corner! (Maybe)

    Mostly Bs

    Artisan! Oh dear. I'm sorry old chap. It's the Artisan career path for you. Look forward to being left alone by the hierarchy as you are too incompetent to work a computer, fail to grasp basic calculus principles which you may need and on receipt of your 3rd stripe (after 15 years if you are lucky) you will also receive a laminated biff chit for your knackered knees/back (delete as applicable)

    Mostly Cs

    You're a civvy aren't you?
  2. stolen from facebook....Knob!
  3. You have seen it on facebook? Quality! I created it! (Back at ya, knob! :wink: )
  4. I am not REME, but I would rather work with an Aritisan than a Tiffy any day.

    (And I've worked in an LAD).
  5. I would cut it down to 1 question - can you demonstrate the "Tiffy Point?".

    I worked for an Artisan myself for a while, worth it alone to see his response when somebody wandered up and said "Scuse me Tiff..." :twisted:
  6. So up their own arrse :?

    Artisans have common sense.........
  7. Eh ? Don't have a scoobies what you are on about.
  8. Sorry, on about MOST Tiffys.
  9. Ah right, that's why I was confused as I was not talking about tiffy's at all, but the reaction you get if you make the mistake of calling an Artisan "Tiff".