New (old) style recruitment

Discussion in 'The Intelligence Cell' started by Cretin, Sep 13, 2006.

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  1. No suprise that recruitment is going badly - but surely the answer isn't these toss "Infantry - forward as one" adverts that probably cost £20m.

    I was watching Sharpes on TV the other night - and I've come round to thinking that perhaps the old methods weren't so bad. Instead of spending big money on ads, promotional dvds and army careers offices - send a few stripeys up and down the streets with a drummer and a wad of cash. Anyone that wants the Queen's shilling can fall in behind him and after a bit of marching, it's onto the back of a four-tonner and down to Catterick.

    I'm sure you'd get a few recruits per day - and it's a lot easier than multi-media marketing campaigns.

    Failing that, bring back press gangs. Out drinking one night - wham - wake up on a destroyer.
  2. Even better idea - put ads in the National press for auditions for "the ultimate reality show". You always get thousands of turds turning up for the auditions. The first season is 22 weeks long and based in the North of England. The second "extreme" season is a year long and takes place in a hot, exotic foreign location. They just have to sign up without knowing what awaits them.

    If only 1 out of every 100 wanabee attention seeking idiot lasted the course, you'd easily be able to raise a full Infantry Brigade.
  3. Yeah but what would we do with a Brigade? My god man, we've just binned 4 Battalions because we have such a surplus of PBIs. Don't you listen to the news? Dammit how can the glorious party continue with its plans if they do not get the adulation the so rightly deserve from a grateful electorate.

    It would make no sense.
  4. At major public events there is usually an army recruitment van. However everytime i see them they're bloody empty.

    They have images of various weapons and a tv screen displaying a looped video of commando assaults, helecopter gunships etc etc.

    The thing is, people no longer need to be in the army to travel, they no longer need to be in the army to have a steady job. Patriotism is a shadow of what it used to be so think, why would a lot of people realistically join the army over a civvie career?

    At the minute, a civilian life ticks more boxes for a lot of people than a military life does.

    Personally, id love nothing less than to join the army but unfortunately the army doesn't want me. I fume when i hear people talk badly about the armed forces even though im a civvie like the rest of them. People just dont see the military as a genuinely good career anymore.
  5. An all time low in recruiting was the mid 90s. Options had happened, the recruiting offices were either closed down or outsourced to Sodexho, and the general attitude was that we weren´t recruiting after the cold war had ended, oh and the days of the 22 year trooper were consigned to history. As the tumbleweed rolled across the square at Pirbright, we were sent out as squadrons with our CVR(T)s all over the country to do some old fashioned recruiting. We didn´t get many recruits, but I had some cracking welfare cases after we got back (well what do you expect if you stick a Ray-Banned CVR(T) crew on Blackpool beach for a week in the middle of the season). We had a few equiries in the street, generally categorised between old codgers banging on about how easy we have it now (get back in your box, you geriatric walt), to specky tw@ts who knew more about a PRC 352 than I did. My general advice to the latter was "go out and get some minor convictions under your belt and then we´ll consider you". I also met a very eloquent 14 year old girl in Stranrar who was in a quandry. She wasn´t sure if she wanted to join the army or become a prostitute in Glasgow. I hope she is now driving for the RLC with a f@nny like a clown´s sleeve.