Discussion in 'Staff College and Staff Officers' started by Bad CO, Jul 13, 2011.
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Latest doctrine hot off the press .......
OK if I move this to the Naafi, Boss?
Some great stuff here, have heard UN-**** used in Operations as in "RWAC, I'm not sure what these ******* have been doing but try to get it un-fucked asap"
This is quite a useful tool for interpreting military history.
For example, Operation Market Garden has defied logic and understanding for nearly three quarters of a century. These new doctrinal concepts offer an explanation in readily understandable terms.
In late 1944 there was a good chance that the war might end. Montgomery felt that he had been fucked over by the Americans because he was British and that Eisenhower's broad front strategy is at best a fu(k about with the risk of becoming a f*&k around. Montgomery's claims to retain the role of land commander are met with a firm f)*k you from Ike.
Monty's response was "F$%K your hat" Market Garden was a plan which put him and the forces of the crown in the lead role for the big finale. 1st Airborne Army really wanted to mount the operation as they have planned and cancelled a dozen operations before and there was a serious danger that the big show will be over before they got to play their part. There were lots of flaws in the plan and assumptions that were found to be unfounded. The confusion that we have had for nearly 70 years about aims objectives and the logic behind the Market Garden planning is because this was a sh1t show with Montgomery and 1st Airborne Army jumping through their asses. Challenges to the plan, such as the intelligence that the Germans are stronger are met with befuckling and as the plan unravels, a degree of dick dancing.
There is the impression that 1st Airborne Army and their UK based air planners really wanted this to be their show and didn't want to hand over control or share glory. They fu(ked off 2nd TAF from the air plan and the Dutch Resistance. This led to 1st Airborne Army f&(king themselves when they realised that they could have done with the Close air support, combat air patrols and tactical recce aircraft assets that 2nd TAF had, and the local knowledge of the island by the Dutch.
During the operation itself the commanders in 1st Airborne Division must have felt "F(ck me"; as the plan was heading for a fc)k up. This moment is captured in the film "A Bridge Too Far" in the scene when the divisional commander is surrounded by grinning lunatics from the mental hospital. I have heard it said that some of the assaulting units who had to win on the first day fucked up under pressure.
The river crossing of the Waal by the US Paras was a desperate attempt to unfu(k things, but they felt that they had been fucked over by the Guards Armoured Division who had said **** it after capturing the Nijmegen road bridge. What remained of the operation was a goat rodeo and a shower of shit, if such euphemisms can be used to describe a costly military defeat.
After the event the public and especially the Americans thought that Monty had sh1t the bed big time!.
All that remains is to point out that these terms are not sufficient in themselves to explain Operation Market garden. It needs the insidious influence of the dark side of the British military ethos, personified by the Emperor Mong. "No need to check the comms/ find a closer LZ - this operation will be cancelled like the last ten."
Cornelius Ryan eat your heart out! LoL
Genuis - do they come in a TAM sized format?
At last somebody puts their brain in gear and analyses Market Garden accurately! It is clear from Pteranodon's analysis that Monty jumped through his own ass in the run up to Market Garden and successfully muttered "**** You" in boy Browning's ear. honestly, not even Daphne du Maurier could have made this up so it seems that the answer is as Pteranodon suggests.
And they say the golden age of military history died with Richard Holmes...
SO1 JOTD recently said to the last JOTAC that he liked using the 'SMASH' effect.
I personally use 'END'
"My intent is to END the enemy."
Not a Goat Rodeo more a Rolling Goat ****.
Arent these restricted?
Late to the party, but I have a Word version of these - if you want them in TAMs format, give me the sizes and it's done.
At "New Research in Military History: A Symposium for Postgraduate and Early-career Academics 16 November 2012, University of Birmingham, UK Andrew Wheale (University of Buckingham) dueign a presentation on 'Volunteers and Converts': Manpower and the formation of 6th Airborne Division" produced a marvellous slide which claimed to show an extract from 6 AB Division orders. These included the phrase
"there wil be some frigging around E of the line xxxx- yyyyyy-zzzzz"
I think a Goat **** could have the makings of a cunning plan given the proclivities in some parts of the world.
And the non funny American vs british military terms
It took 60 years for this to be declassified
Holy thread resurrection Batman! But thanks for reminding me if these. I've been party to many a Goat Rodeo over the years.
Tapped in morse code on the radiator.
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