New Legionnaire

Discussion in 'Armed Forces Jokes' started by Monty417, Sep 13, 2010.

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  1. Back in time when anyone on the run or wanting to disappear could join the Foreign Legion, a young guy joined and was sent to a remote outpost in Algeria. After he'd been there for three weeks, he asked one of his comrades what they did for sex.

    "Every time ze moon, she is full, zair is a very large herd of ze wild camel that come past ze fort and anyons needing ze shag gets himself ze cow camel for ze night." came the reply. And. "you are very lucky, zey are due tomorrow night."

    Sure enough, the next night saw a massed herd of camels heading to go right past the fort. When they got to about a hundred yards off, dozens of legionnaires charged out of the fort, pushing and shoving each other to get to the camels first.

    The new guy shouts to one. "Whats the f****n' rush?, there's stacks of them."

    The frantic legionnaire shouts back.
    "Hurree, you would not want an urrgly one, would you."
  2. Having got the hang of the camel thing at this particular Legion outpost, he is transferred to another one not long after.

    Starting to feel a bit horny one day, he asks the Sarge if the camels are coming.

    "Certainly". Says the Sarge, "In two risings of the moon, the camels will come."

    Its a bit of a wait but I know it will be worth it he thinks to himself.

    Sure enough, two months later the camels arrive over the sand dunes of the desert in a great cloud of sand and dust.

    The young Legionnaire, remembering the lesson of the last outpost, sprints out to greet the camels and enthusiastically starts to pump one into what he considers is the prettiest beast.

    All of a sudden the Sarge comes up to him and taps him on the shoulder.

    "What in the name of God do you think you are fucking doing Private!" He bellows, "The fucking camels are here to take us into town to meet the girls!"
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  3. Because of the embarrassment of the camel incident, the Private is quickly reposted to another unit and swore off sex with camels for life.

    Unfortunately, after a few months of celibacy, his urges got the better of him and he sneaks into the camel compound at bastard hundred hours and starts humping a particularly gorgeous looking camel.

    Not far from blowing a beauty, he gets another tap on the shoulder, and standing there with a none too impressed glare on his dial was his Sarge.

    "What in the name of God do you think you are fucking doing private!"

    "That's a fucking Officers camel!"
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