New Labour: The glory years

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by 2Manky, May 17, 2009.

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  1. Hi all, I thought I'd start a new topic with my first post in The NAAFI.

    I want to invite you to help me celebrate perhaps the most wonderfully distasteful Government this country has ever seen, New Labour. Please take a moment to think back, smile, remember and then share your fondest memory of them here so we can all remaniss. They'll be sadly missed.

    For me, it has to be Labour councillor Ken Brookman. It still warms my heart every time I recollect the news article that a man took his seat on a train and so he bit his ear off.

    Mind you, Labour Councillor David Spooner did manage to get himself jailed for masturbating in front of 2 young boys. And that's pretty good going.

    New Labour, whae's like them, eh? I'll miss them, it's a different class of sleaze. To be honest, I'm not looking forward to going back to boring Tories who are no more imaginative than shagging the secretary. :(
  2. Are you Ashie's evil twin?
  3. One of my fondest memories was their Welsh Secreatary "Hunting For Badgers" on Clapham Common... a true stalwart of the whiter than white party!
  4. I've gone and gotten myself all nostalgic now, can I change my choice?

    It has to be New Labour MP Clive Betts for the genuis double-whammy he pulled in 2003. He managed to get himself suspended from the house of commons after being caught red-handed and personally forging official papers so his gay Brazilian rentboy live-in lover could remain illegally in the country.
  5. Mine will be in 2010 when they get voted OUT!!!

  6. What a fool, he should have just had the law changed like Mandleson who imported his very own bum boy from Brazil.. unfortunately not a hitler clone as that would have been a bit non PC.
  7. LancePrivateJones

    LancePrivateJones LE Book Reviewer

    My favourite bit was when lardboy Prescott got the egg thrown at him and proceeded to lose it in front of the entire world.

    Crap fighter as well.

    Fat twat.
  8. Mandelson - for getting sacked TWICE and still making it back into the Cabinet. Maybe he can claim a record by making it three - here's hoping.

  9. Seconded; all that flab and he STILL could'nt get any weight behind the jab? :roll:
  10. I realise that everyone should be entitled to choose their own favourite memory, but we shouldn't need to start sharing memories before page 50. John Prescott only punched a member of the public, that's nothing, it's New Labour we're talking about here!

    Labour Councillor Denis Jones upon a petty falling out with a neighbour, went to his shed in cold-blood, then went round there and attacked him with a sledgehammer, subsequently jailed for unlawful wounding.

    Happy days. You just wouldn't get that with the Tories or Lib-Dems, actually filling a constituent in with a seldgehammer. Oh to be a fly on the wall that day.

    "Hi councillor, what can I do you for?"
    "Whe'z ya tool."
    "What tool?"
    "This fackin' tool."
    Sound of breaking bones.

    :) Classic New Labour, I'm going to miss them.
  11. So many golden moments and cherished memories.

    But for me the greatest accolade has to be reserved for Geoff Hoon.

    In a time when politicians enjoy the same sort of popularity with the public usually reserved for traffic wardens and paedophiles this man has still managed to transend his genre.

    It takes a speacial kind of creature to manage to get his family name immortalised in internet meme history as a more derogatory way of saying the word 'cunt'.

    A truely noteworthy man who I am sure will be refered to by future historians as "The greatest Hoon of the early 21st century".
  12. LancePrivateJones

    LancePrivateJones LE Book Reviewer

    'Spanker' Proctor.
    One of the 'New Fogey' Conservatives who turned out to be a little more 'Traditional' than was expected of him.
    Ended up running a Tie-Rack that later went bust I do believe.
    Happy days.
  13. Rent boy smuggling is one thing. Installing Ken Macdonald as Director of Public Prosecutions is quite another.

    Like so many independently appointed senior civil servants, Ken just happened to be an old mate of Tony from his days at Oxford. What a coincidence!

    Ken struggled a bit in his career as a barrister. Perhaps that was because he doesn't have a degree in law. Perhaps it's because he does have a conviction for drug dealing acquired while he was at university. In 1997 he was finally appointed QC. What happened in 1997? Oh yes - I remember now. That's just a coincidence though.

    In 2001, Ken decided to form his own law firm, Matrix Chambers, with another like minded barrister called Cherie Blair. You may recall that her husband was Prime Minister at the time. That's another coincidence though.

    Ken's career and bank balance started taking off. Matrix Chambers started getting shed loads of government work. They got more appeal work in the House of Lords than any other chambers. Funnily enough, that's all dried up since Tony left No 10. I'm sure that they were the best chambers for the job. The fact that government law officers awarded contracts that stuffed their boss's joint bank account with taxpayers' cash is purely coincidental.

    Finally, in 2003, Ken became Director of Public Prosecutions to howls of outrage from all concerned. How on earth could a convicted drug dealer without a law degree and who had never conducted a prosecution in his life possibly become Director of Public Prosecutions? The fact that he was a close personal and business associate of the Blairs is just a coincidence.

    Just as well that he was appointed. He was around to make the following, unbiased decisions:-

    Cash for honours : Insufficient evidence
    John 'Lurve Machine' Prescott's office sh@gfest : No investigation (unlike police who are prosecuted for this)
    DNA reanalysis of mask used in Peter Hain's alleged bank robbery : Cased closed
    John Prescott's left hook : Ignore it and it'll go away
    Dodgy dossier : No case to answer
    Dr David Kelly : No investigation
    Lord Ahmed caused death by reckless driving : No he didn't
    Peter Hain's admission of electoral fraud : Insufficient evidence
    NHS/MoD Corporate Manslaughter accusations : No prosecution - ever

    Handy thing when your old mate is the country's chief prosecutor. Folks like Berlusconi and Putin had to get legislation passed to raise them above the law.
  14. That's a pretty cool Mustelidae. :D
  15. Nepotism in the public prosecution office, pah! This is New Labour, get more into the spirit. :)

    How about Labour Mayor John Winstanley who was jailed for rape and threats to kill. After raping and threatening to kill he then ordered the woman to go on all fours before urinating on her.

    I'm sure at least one (maybe two?) Labour official was done for peodophilia as well.