New guy.

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by Sleepy_Spam, Mar 29, 2010.

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  1. Hello all, my name is David, and you're all going to hate my guts. Why? Because I'm a walt, a spam, and a former member of the septic idea of slime (except I was in the Navy). And worse yet, I'm a student!

    Anyways, all that is true, but I was born in the UK (RAF Lakenheath, to be precise), love Top Gear, pretty much hate baseball and football (the American version) and I root for Manchester United whenever I get the chance (and I hope they firmly shoe Chelsea next weekend), so after reading pretty much every page in ARRSEpedia (The one on the US oddly being my favorite), I figured I'd sign up here and talk to some folks who actually know something about the UK other than just that they got a half-hearted shoeing 200-odd years ago, and now we blow ourselves up once a year in celebration.

    Also, fish and chips does not mean fishsticks and Doritos. If I ever find the boy who said that in 7th grade, I'm going to beat him again.

    Anyways, hello again.
  2. Hello Spam, now knob off theres a good chap :D
  3. and go forth and multiply yourself!
  4. Hole
  5. Fixed that for you mate :wink:
  6. good-bye.
  7. Hey everyone, meet David.

    David's American, so therefore has some strange, if not perculiar, traits.
    Dave (I'm being casual now) is a bit tubby as he's still trying to get over his Burger addiction, with extra triple large fries and double nacho's. Dave also is a trendy dude. Trendy as in; would not look out of place on the set of 'Back to the Future' Bleached jeans, white crappy sneakers and an awkward looking top covered by the obligitory high-school cardgian.

    Dave has a girlfriend, Brandy, who is the standard Mid-west Mom to be, plain Jane and was never slim or pretty enough to be on the cheerleading team but still finds it OK to wear grey tracksuit bottoms and a baggy top with the uniformal white polo top underneath. She's got HUGE hair still styled on her Mom's, who got her's from watching Dynasty religiously. Brandy dreams one day of becoming a Mom herself but all those years in the Nuclear plant as a sweeper-upper may have ruined that.

    Dave's hair is thinning and he has a moustache, and it's one of those annoying little trimmed ones that geeky yanks wear with pride in the vain hope it will distract the eye from the number of chins they're carrying.

    Dave drives a pick-up (don't they all?) as it gives even the sofest handed gay-boy the chance to exude the aura of the hard-as-nails artisan or killer-about-town hunter, who shoots, skins and eats everything they can whilst wearing the oblilgatory Wal-Mart chunky hunting jacket coat and tartan hat thing.

    Dave joined the Military as it was an option of that or the concrete factory, as he obviously couldn't afford college then but has managed through hard work, and possible embezzlement somehwere, to scrape enough to work his way through. David ended up in Naval intelligence (a contradiction in terms?) as he was the only one in his intake to have a triple figure IQ. The others being simple southern folk who were to used to incest, unemployment and hanging coloreds on a saturday night whilst dressed in white sheets.

    So everyone , say Hi! to David and make his welcome one that enforces our Special Relation that we enjoy with our Cousins across the pond :roll:
  8. A very warm welcome to you, Dave. There are a few other Septics on ARRSE. Most of them are reasonable and sensible.

    By the way, don't lend Cold_Ricker any dosh. :D

  9. Too kind, too kind! :D
  10. Dave, have you been introduced to Legs, Jarrod and Slug?

    Or Smudge for that matter!
  11. Our governments might not share a special relationship any more, but not all septics are bad . Although i havn't run into one in a while.
  12. Knob
  13. Ravers

    Ravers LE Reviewer Book Reviewer

    I saw an American on telly once.
  14. Ravers

    Ravers LE Reviewer Book Reviewer

    Actually come to think of it he might have been Canadian, you can never really tell.

  15. Americans are a bit chubbier, and the canooks join LOF type groups.