Hi, need a bit of advice.
I have just started seeing a new lady friend and everything is going good so far. The problem is im due to start basic in May. Is there any chance of the relationship lasting while starting my army career or shall I finish it before basic starts?
If things are going well...don't end the relationship before you both have a chance to see how things go when you are in training. Not being a military person, I'm not sure what basic training is all about...but if it's that hard on a relationship, it's a matter that the two of you should discuss together. But don't just end it and leave the poor girl wondering why it's over!!!
If your relationship won't take ten weeks separation, it ain't gonna last a six-month tour when you're in.
Don't break off yet, see how you both get on in the next year or so and how you adapt to Army life, it's a massive transition from civvy strasse and if you make it through Phase 1 you'll never be the same person again.
If you're still serious about each other then, get a ring on her finger for the benefit of both of you (the Army don't give a flying fook about girlfriends but bends over backwards to keep wives happy)
Don't listen to any advice from the arrse resident psycho agony aunt pentwyn, if you haven't realised yet she's a 24-carat freak and knows knack-all about the forces (and life in general come to think of it)
Talk to her about it, give a shot if you think she's worth keeping and see what happens. On the flip-side you require commitment to the army, and there will be plenty of ladies, or NAAFI creatures, out there for you. Plus not seeing each other can be a challenge, need to be a patient 'noble fellow', a whole lota trust is needed.
Keep it going and see how it goes when you're in basic, if you come back and she's shagging your brother/dad/best friend then it's probably best to drop it.
Cheers for all the comments, I was surprised at how many were serious. I was expecting to get the urine taken out of me.
I'll give it a go with her see how it goes once im in training. I have told her from the start that joining the army and my career most come first, I guess time will tell.
When I started basic one of the troop cpl's asked how many of us had girlfriends and about twenty of us raised our hands. He then said most of us would get dumped before we finished training and he would ask us the same question on return from our first weekend home. After six weeks we went home and on our return as he said he asked the same question and only three including myself raised our hands.
All the billy no mates had girlfriends through and beyond basic. You've got to 'gel with the squad', which you can't do if you are pi55ing off home to mummy and the gf every weekend. You need to be in the pub with the lads, getting in trouble, playing sport, scooting off on adventures and laying the foundation of good stories which will bind you together for the rest of your career.
There'll come a time when you have to choose between the army and your missus. That time should not be before you've even joined, 'cos you don't know feck all about the army.
To be fair it is your responsibility to your Officers and NCOs to get binned messily and cry pitifully whilst bulling your boots; ideally you should mention that "she was the one" every so often to ensure their full entertainment.
I married my man in between basic and phase 2.! I decided to support him in his career and never stop him from going out on the lash with his mates or anything else. For the relationship to work you have to have an understanding about each others lives and ambitions. As long as he comes home to me thats all that matters!!