New Direction for any war: Send Service Vets over 60!

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by Beerfun, Sep 16, 2009.

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  1. Yes, the years of experience are more than a match for the lack of fitness and ability not to pee ev

  2. No, War is a young mans game, get back to proping up the NAFFI bar you dribbly old sweat!

  1. New Direction for any war: Send Service Vets over 60!

    I am over 60 and the Armed Forces think I'm too old to track down terrorists. You can't be older than 42 to join the military. They've got the whole thing ass-backwards. Instead of sending 18-year olds off to fight, they ought to take us old guys. You shouldn't be able to join a military unit until you're at least 35.

    For starters:
    Researchers say 18-year-olds think about sex every 10 seconds. Old guys only think about sex a couple of times a day, leaving us more than 28,000 additional seconds per day to concentrate on the enemy.

    Young guys haven't lived long enough to be cranky, and a cranky soldier is a dangerous soldier. 'My back hurts! I can't sleep, I'm tired and hungry' We are impatient and maybe letting us kill some asshole that desperately deserves it will make us feel better and shut us up for a while.

    An 18-year-old doesn't even like to get up before 10 a.m. Old guys always get up early to pee so what the hell. Besides, like I said, 'I'm tired and can't sleep and since I'm already up, I may as well be up killing some fanatical s-of-a-b....

    If captured we couldn't spill the beans because we'd forget where we put them. In fact, name, rank, and serial number would be a real brainteaser.

    Boot camp would be easier for old guys. We're used to getting screamed and yelled at and we're used to soft food. We've also developed an appreciation for guns. We've been using them for years as an excuse to get out of the house, away from the screaming and yelling.

    They could lighten up on the obstacle course however. I've been in combat and didn't see a single 20-foot wall with rope hanging over the side, nor did I ever do any pushups after completing basic training.

    Actually, the running part is kind of a waste of energy, too. I've never seen anyone outrun a bullet.

    An 18-year-old has the whole world ahead of him. He's still learning to shave, to start up a conversation with a pretty girl. He still hasn't figured out that a baseball cap has a brim to shade his eyes, not the back of his head.

    These are all great reasons to keep our kids at home to learn a little more about life before sending them off into harm's way.

    Let us old guys track down those dirty rotten coward terrorists. The last thing an enemy would want to see is a couple of million pissed off old farts with attitudes and automatic weapons who know that their best years are already behind them.

    ***How about recruiting Women over 50 ...with PMS !!!

    You think Men have attitudes !!!
    Ohhhhhhhhhhhh my God!!!

    If nothing else, put us on border patrol....we will have it secured the first night!

    Saw this on the site below and though not that old (a meer 34) I have to agree slightly with it!
  2. I don't mind stagging on and running the coffee swindle.
  3. Been done, can't be arrsed searching for it
  4. This is definitely a good idea - why are we sending the cream of our youth into battle?

    Recruit the over 50s who have lived the best part of their lives and launch them into battle against Jihadists.

    Better still, get the unemployed, benefit claimants and criminals in extended line, armed with AK 47s, and launch them against Terry. Tell them if the look back or turn back they will get slotted.

    yes OK I am joking - but I would do it if I could.
  5. Yup, again and again and aga..............
  6. Excellent idea, I have no doubt my Grandfather could kick my arrse and he served in WW2!

    Am also liking the idea of sending in some hormonal femmes! Send in a couple of the liberal-leftie women with PMS and an aversion to deodorant and razors and you'd have the Taliban running for the hills in no time! And it's not like we'd miss them over here...two birds one stone as the saying goes!
  7. ... you called...!
  8. We did indeed...your country needs you...the Taliban are trying to dictate what shoes women in Afghanistan should wear (high heels mainly), this must be stopped! Get to it my hormonal, sensible shoe-d friends!
  9. ... I thought we already had QA's out there
  10. Yes I'm really up for it... What was the question again ?... yep found my cold mug of tea thanks, oh yes, I would like to press some buttons again as I have been converted to some stuff called velcro now.
    Would I get free glasses and a bib to catch my dinner?
    Could I swap the old bath chair for a quadbike thingy with a rack for my Gun Bearer ?

    What was the question again ?