New buzzphrases...

#1
Now, I've served in HQ UKSC(G) and like to think I've heard a few cracking and trendy buzzphrases in my time but even I can appreciate ones I've never heard before...

This week I attended a pre-HERRICK get-together during which a few guest speakers appeared and I heard the following during their spiels:

"Colonel,I'll stick to "X" if you dont mind; otherwise we might end up going down a few RABBIT- HOLES " :-D

"I was going to discuss "Y" but listening to some of the earlier speakers it would appear that SOMEONE HAS EATEN MY SANDWICHES" :-D


Where do these maniacs get it from?
 
#3
Be careful with this thread there is a risk of tangentially spiralling...

Rodney2q
 
#4
What the fuck is Granularity? Why can't these cunts talk plain English. Had to laugh though when a SNCO working in BGHQ tried applying officer words...........the fucking retard.
 
#5
[TABLE="class: card"]
[TR]
[TD]Experiences
[/TD]
[TD]Virtualization
[/TD]
[TD]Touchpoints
[/TD]
[TD]Targeted
[/TD]
[TD]
Out Source
[/TD]
[/TR]
[TR]
[TD]Metrics
[/TD]
[TD]Deliverable
[/TD]
[TD]Braindump
[/TD]
[TD]Turnkey
[/TD]
[TD]Customer Service
[/TD]
[/TR]
[TR]
[TD]Think Outside the Box
[/TD]
[TD]Google Juice
[/TD]
[TD="class: freecell"]BULLSHIT BINGO
(free square)
[/TD]
[TD]Critical Path / Issue
[/TD]
[TD]Resource
[/TD]
[/TR]
[TR]
[TD]Key Factor / Words
[/TD]
[TD]Upside
[/TD]
[TD]Compelling
[/TD]
[TD]Business Plan
[/TD]
[TD]Team Player
[/TD]
[/TR]
[TR]
[TD]Best of Breed
[/TD]
[TD]End to end
[/TD]
[TD]Wow Factor
[/TD]
[TD]At the end of the day
[/TD]
[TD]Leadership
[/TD]
[/TR]
[/TABLE]
 
#6
What the fuck is Granularity? Why can't these cunts talk plain English. Had to laugh though when a SNCO working in BGHQ tried applying officer words...........the fucking retard.
It's a word from the days of wet film, the size of the crystals on the negative (today you'd talk of how many megapixels).
 
#8
[TABLE="class: card"]
[TR]
[TD]Experiences
[/TD]
[TD]Virtualization
[/TD]
[TD]Touchpoints
[/TD]
[TD]Targeted
[/TD]
[TD]Out Source
[/TD]
[/TR]
[TR]
[TD]Metrics
[/TD]
[TD]Deliverable
[/TD]
[TD]Braindump
[/TD]
[TD]Turnkey
[/TD]
[TD]Customer Service
[/TD]
[/TR]
[TR]
[TD]Think Outside the Box
[/TD]
[TD]Google Juice
[/TD]
[TD="class: freecell"]BULLSHIT BINGO
(free square)
[/TD]
[TD]Critical Path / Issue
[/TD]
[TD]Resource
[/TD]
[/TR]
[TR]
[TD]Key Factor / Words
[/TD]
[TD]Upside
[/TD]
[TD]Compelling
[/TD]
[TD]Business Plan
[/TD]
[TD]Team Player
[/TD]
[/TR]
[TR]
[TD]Best of Breed
[/TD]
[TD]End to end
[/TD]
[TD]Wow Factor
[/TD]
[TD]At the end of the day
[/TD]
[TD]Leadership
[/TD]
[/TR]
[/TABLE]


I should have explained. Print this off, hand to colleagues and wait for "BULLSHIT!" to be shouted when Lt. Rupert does his crap Powerpoint monologue.

Go to http://www.bullshitbingo.net/cards/bullshit/ for more cards. We've had hours of fun humiliating new and nervous Officers.
 
#10
They've obviously been watching that rivetting documentary, The Apprentice! Thinking that those sorts of phrases are what are used in everyday business speak and applying said bollox to the military - and not realising that those of us who are now working in the stinking world of business also think that anyone using any phrase or word like that is, in actual fact, an utter twat hiding a lack of experience and knowledge behind said bollox.


Sent from my iPhone using ARRSE so I should probably be working....
 
#11
Understand all that but how does the word fit into being a mission lexicon?
It's a reference to the amount of detail, ranging from 'Big Hand-Small Map' to 'Can't see the wood for the trees'.
 
#12
My son used to make up words like this pre-school,and here was I thinking that it was a load of gobledygook,if I had copied it down then,and put it into dictionary format,I'd be a 'Millionare'!

The English language is one of the most expressive,in the World,so why do these tossers make words/phrases up,when there are plenty awaiting discovery in any decent English Dictionary? =\\\\
 
#13
My son used to make up words like this pre-school,and here was I thinking that it was a load of gobledygook,if I had copied it down then,and put it into dictionary format,I'd be a 'Millionare'!

The English language is one of the most expressive,in the World,so why do these tossers make words/phrases up,when there are plenty awaiting discovery in any decent English Dictionary? =\\\\
Thta's because they've heard them being used further up the food chain, on tv programs from the US or seminars with a Power Speaker... usually a guy with weirdly lacquered hair and seriously bright teeth. Our record in Bingo is 17 seconds thanks to Lt. P Y... u little tosser.
 
#14
It was actually quite saddening to note that old favourites like "lets's not get tangled in the weeds" and "thrown a track" are no longer in vogue.
 
#15
I hate PowerPoint.

I threw a track when the message came round listing the corporate fonts and colours we would be obliged to use in future.
 

Latest Threads

Top