New Book (28 years and no LSGC)

#1
Tap, tap, tap

The rain splashes on my helmet and runs down on to my face. I am cold, tired and hungry. I look left and right and what I am feeling is reflected in my fellow soldiers faces. I ask Dave for the handset, I press the pressel which is sticky probably from boiled sweet residue "OA this 30A, I am now set in the FUP. My H Hour is still 0542, will send sitrep on objective secure and re-org, wait out"
I am told that the fire support is having difficult is ascertaining eyes onto the objective, with only 30 minutes till H they need to move and move fast. Time is not on our side, I close the Section Commanders in for the final brief using my crumbled map which I really should have put in a map case, from there I confirm the plan (2 Up, simultaneous assault onto a section sized position) "Any questions?"

"What about FSP, if its not in position?"

I reply "We still launch son"


That is an extract from my book I am currently in the process of considering having published. After leaving the Army last year as a CSgt after 28 years service I started to write down all the memorable moments and the not so memorable accounts onto paper and along came the book. I'll keep the extracts coming let me know what you think.
 
#2
I think you will need to include a glossary.

There are at least six terms used in those two paragraphs that most general public readers will not understand.
 
#5
I think you will need to include a glossary.

There are at least six terms used in those two paragraphs that most general public readers will not understand.
yes re-write it as if you are telling the story to your grandson, without military terms that a civilian would not understand, if you're writing it just for ex military readers then your audience is too narrow, and your sales will mirror this.
 
#6
yes re-write it as if you are telling the story to your grandson, without military terms that a civilian would not understand, if you're writing it just for ex military readers then your audience is too narrow, and your sales will mirror this.
I disagree, include a comprehensive glossary, your grandson will be big eyed to learn all that military language.
As would a non army background reader.
 
#7
I just had a quick butchers at Karl Marlantes' Matterhorn (a fictionalised account of his real life experience in Vietnam).

The glossary is 45 pages of alphabetical terms and 5 pages of numerical ones (on Kindle on an iPad, so probably less in print).

It does not detract from the book at all. In fact it adds to it as he has comprehensive descriptions (rather than just something like "M16:Rifle").
 
#8
I think I have been on Arrse too much if the first sentence and a bit had me wondering why you'had it out in test mode' in the rain...
 
#9
Sex, wife swapping, orgies and drinking would make it better for squaddies to read.

Just a pointer mind you my own book will be more spiritual.
 
#10
You are going to need to employ a good proof reader if that is the standard of your grammar and spelling.
 
#11
All comments taken!

1993 and I've spent the last 48 hours in the Guardroom chain smoking and using the Army's phone to ring my 17 stone piece on the side. Little did I know, I was about to get my teeth punched in, not by my current girlfriend either. We've just completed the handover and accounted for everything in the guardroom from the mattress's to the **** tissues stuffed down the side of the TV. As I am exiting the guardroom, I am approached.

"HEY!" says the man.

"Yea what?" I reply. This man is considerably taller and wider than me, with a porno slug on his lip. He was also in uniform, that of the REME.

"Yea what?!?! Really!" He approaches "Listen to me you little shit stain, the next time you **** my daughter I'll put you 6 feet under"

I took a few seconds to think of my reply. I was thinking, I am a NI veteran, I am a ******* infantry soldier and I will shag who I want. "Listen mate, your daughter is fat as **** anyway. Do me a favor, take yourself and your shit tash...

That was it, the next thing I knew, I woke up in the Guardroom. Wow my jaw hurt. The lads surrounded me, "Looks like you just got chinned by a REMF" I sheepishly left the guardroom, went back to my room, had a **** and tried to forget all about it. I learnt two things that day that blokes with shit tash's are a lot harder than they look and that fat chicks will always tell their Dad when they've had a shag. I never did contact his Daughter again.
 
#12
All comments taken!

1993 and I've spent the last 48 hours in the Guardroom chain smoking and using the Army's phone to ring my 17 stone piece on the side. Little did I know, I was about to get my teeth punched in, not by my current girlfriend either. We've just completed the handover and accounted for everything in the guardroom from the mattress's to the **** tissues stuffed down the side of the TV. As I am exiting the guardroom, I am approached.

"HEY!" says the man.

"Yea what?" I reply. This man is considerably taller and wider than me, with a porno slug on his lip. He was also in uniform, that of the REME.

"Yea what?!?! Really!" He approaches "Listen to me you little shit stain, the next time you **** my daughter I'll put you 6 feet under"

I took a few seconds to think of my reply. I was thinking, I am a NI veteran, I am a ******* infantry soldier and I will shag who I want. "Listen mate, your daughter is fat as **** anyway. Do me a favor, take yourself and your shit tash...

That was it, the next thing I knew, I woke up in the Guardroom. Wow my jaw hurt. The lads surrounded me, "Looks like you just got chinned by a REMF" I sheepishly left the guardroom, went back to my room, had a **** and tried to forget all about it. Still to this day I think twice before gobbing off and I also learnt that blokes with shit tash's are a lot harder than they look. I never did contact his Daughter again.
Maybe @ACAB could help you out. He's written a book, you know. He doesn't like to mention it though.
 
#13
I think you will need to include a glossary.

There are at least six terms used in those two paragraphs that most general public readers will not understand.
Correct. That's one of the whinges I've had with mine and a fair one.
 

_Chimurenga_

LE
Gallery Guru
#15
I am told that the fire support is having difficult is ascertaining eyes onto the objective

“[O]f all the several ways of beginning a book which are now in practice throughout the known world, I am confident my own way of doing it is the best—I'm sure it is the most religious—for I begin with writing the first sentence—and trusting to Almighty God for the second.” --- Tristram Shandy

I think I've just become an atheist.
 
#17
The problem with personal memoirs is that the content is often just a cover for it's main purpose; a vehicle to ensure the author is remembered and their service recorded. Sometimes you get an impressive military memoir because it's well written or it's based around a significant event. Try "Old Soldiers Never Die" by Frank Richards. A book based around the lifestyle of a young infantry soldier progressing into a middle-aged colour boy, sprinkled with the occasional hilarity of shagging fat girls, getting assaulted, drinking body fluids and cutting about here and there etc might not be attractive to a general readership.

Having said that it might be published to critical acclaim and I can see the TLS review now:
"Hoofing seat of your pants holiday read. Get squared away and take it somewhere sandy. You'll be redders and threaders when you eventually put it down. Happy with that"

Good luck and put me down for two copies.
 
#19

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