Never step on a duck Darling...

Discussion in 'Miscellaneous Jokes' started by Goatman, Mar 3, 2011.

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  1. Goatman

    Goatman LE Book Reviewer

    DUCKS IN HEAVEN !!!

    [​IMG]

    Three women die together in an accident and go to heaven.

    When they get there, St. Peter says,
    'We only have one rule here in heaven: Don't step on the ducks!'

    So they enter heaven, and sure enough, There are ducks all over the place.
    It is almost impossible not to step on a duck, And although they try their best to avoid them, The first woman accidentally steps on one.

    Along comes St. Peter with the ugliest man she ever saw.
    St. Peter chains them together and says,
    'Your punishment for stepping on a duck is to spend eternity chained to this ugly man!'
    [​IMG]
    The next day,
    The second woman steps accidentally on a duck
    And along comes St. Peter, Who doesn't miss a thing.
    With him is another extremely ugly man.
    [​IMG]

    He chains them together With the same admonishment as for the first woman.

    The third woman has observed all this and, Not wanting to be chained For all eternity to an ugly man, is very, VERY careful where she steps.


    She manages to go months Without stepping on any ducks, But One day St.Peter comes up to her With the most handsome man she has ever laid eyes on

    .... Very tall, long eyelashes, muscular.

    [​IMG]

    St. Peter chains them together without saying a word.

    The happy woman says,
    'I wonder what I did to deserve being Chained to you for all of eternity?'

    The guy says, 'I don't know about you,
    >
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    But I stepped on a Duck ?....'
     
  2. Scans better.....


    Three women die together in an accident and go to heaven.

    When they get there, St. Peter says, 'We only have one rule here in heaven:" Don't step on the ducks!'

    So they enter heaven, and sure enough, there are ducks all over the place.......

    It is almost impossible not to step on a duck, and although they try their best to avoid them, the first woman accidentally steps on one.

    Along comes St. Peter with the ugliest man she ever saw.

    St. Peter chains them together and says, 'Your punishment for stepping on a duck is to spend eternity chained to this ugly man!'

    The next day, the second woman steps accidentally on a duck and along comes St. Peter, who doesn't miss a thing.......

    With him is another extremely ugly man.

    He chains them together with the same admonishment as for the first woman.

    The third woman has observed all this and, not wanting to be chained for all eternity to an ugly man, is very, VERY careful where she steps.


    She manages to go months without stepping on any ducks, but one day St.Peter comes up to her with the most handsome man she has ever laid eyes on.... very tall, long eyelashes, muscular, puffing on a duty- free with aplomb.

    St. Peter chains them together without saying a word.

    The happy woman says, 'I wonder what I did to deserve being chained to you for all of eternity?'

    Jarrod strokes his eyebrow and says, 'I don't know about you, but I stepped on a soddin' duck ....'
     
  3. Fixed that for you.

    Yes, I imagine that would seem like Hell to him for Jarrod to be chained to a woman. Chin up, lad. It could have been Sir Elton you know... :p

    Sir Elton John 2DTV Parody.jpg
     
  4. Don't tell me it's Rearwords isn't it?
     
  5. He stepped on me whilst trying to dry bum me, after all the promise of lube I couldn't take the thought of it without! He deserves to be chained to her ;)
     
  6. If I can't get chicken some crispy duck will do.
     
  7. You'll be seeing me in hell for that then!
     
  8. I'll be at the bar smoking.
     
  9. Could this be you ?????
     

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