Never mind taking it, now you can play with it! Toilet Technology.

Discussion in 'Hardware - PCs, Consoles, Gadgets' started by Excognito, Nov 30, 2011.

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  1. Interesting idea to relieve boredom amongst men and improve the cleanliness of toilets ...

    Toilet Technology

    Of course, I imagine a new competition will be to see who can piss high enough to drench the screen :twisted:

    Good for pubs too, as all the blokes down 10 pints in rapid succession to get a longer turn.

    I wonder if they'll extend this to the Great White Telephone so you can play Precision Bombing ... or Area Bombing of Delhi in a revenge raid? Or perhaps provide extra stimulation for those who have other intents ... browse to .xxx sites or car/aeroplane/train sites.
  2. Can't they show porn on them so you can bang one out whilst you're there?
  3. So, by aiming where you piss, you can control the screen action. I think that this hasnt been thought through too well. Some pissed up bloke, reactions shot to shit, will end up at best pissing on the floor or himself, at worst pissing over the ****** next to him, and ending up with a faceful of monitor for his troubles. It will all end in tears if anywhere is stupid enough to take it up.
  4. However it is something to smash a chavs face through next time you get into an altercation in the gents.
  5. I don't believe for one second, that the manufacturers of this stupid idea, carried out any research into what a pub bog is actually like.

    Smashed hand dryers, missing soap dispensers, at least one urinal that's been out of order for a month, (clearly marked, but still ******* used) absence of locks on the traps, piss all over the floor, at least one trap undergoing a massive log jam.

    If there isn't a complete absence of bog paper, what's left is hanging from a batterered industrial sized steel roller system, the soggy end lying nonchalantly on the floor, whilst God-knows-what liquids are performing a disgusting wicking action along it's length.

    Graffiti with cringeworthy spelling decorates the nicotine stained, condensation splashed walls, the obligatory glory holes are temporarily filled in, due only to the ingenuity of someone who can mix bog roll and fag packets together. I shudder to think what the bonding agent might be.

    There are never proper chains with handles hanging from the cisterns. The basic flushing action can only be achieved by balancing on the toilet bowl, and reaching up to spidery world, and yanking hard on the flush lever. About four times. This method is obviously precarious, as there is scant foot grip to be had on the edge of a urine soaked, seatless toilet bowl. The posher pubs do supply the patronage with orange baling twine, complete with suspicious brown stains and sticky to the touch.

    An automated aerosol squirts off every five minutes, to add a fruits of the forest aroma to the surroundings, but fails miserably in it's task, as the stench of diarrhoea and recently projectiled vomit will easily overpower it's truly pathetic efforts.

    There is always a broken window, and during the Winter months, you can grab some respite from the smell, as a mini gale bellows through the hole and soaks your jacket, as the piss drenched floor washes gently at your turnups.

    During Summer, youll wish the same hole would suck the very life from your body as you breathe in the spores from an old pint glass on the sink, used, obviously, as a failed home-made penicillin experiment.

    There will be a faded sticker on the door, explaining that. "These toilets are checked and cleaned every hour" with a scrawled signature, and dated two years ago.

    Then you visit the men's, and it's even ******* worse.
    • Like Like x 2
  6. Edited to remove a quite unnecessary pretext.
  7. You been talking to my wife? :evil: That sounds suspiciously like her description of the toilet after I've used it (immediately following her Inspection-Ready top-to-bottom cleaning of it).
  8. Absolutely class! The last line cracked me up.