Never ending thread...

Seen this work well on other forums, always good for a laugh and i reckon with the combined talent and wit (who am i kidding?) of the members of ARRSE we can get a good little story going. The idea is to continue this thread by adding to a sentence or finishing one and beginning the next in every post. So here goes, i'll start...

Life seemed to be going from bad to worse for Richard, he had just got a nervous twitch in his left eye and as a result was unable to ...
... and the white reebok classic trainers he'd just borrowed from his chav mate Darren. Now, being a chav meant Darren would ...
Drink more than 3 bottles of white lightening in a night. Darran had just bought a new soverign ring from argos.........
the fact that when drunk on pikey cider and finger banged, she gushed like an oil strike.
.. special fake burberry cap which would nicely compliment his other fake burberry

a. aftershave
b. jacket
c. scarve
d. pair of socks
e. watch

(delete as appropriate).

This gushing and the loss of his Elizabeth Duke ring really annoyed Darren and he resorted to ...
while having their arrses probed by the tulips they'd tied to the grindstone.
Shaz's squirtings seemed like a mere trickle compared to the waterfall of

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