Never ending thread...

Seen this work well on other forums, always good for a laugh and i reckon with the combined talent and wit (who am i kidding?) of the members of ARRSE we can get a good little story going. The idea is to continue this thread by adding to a sentence or finishing one and beginning the next in every post. So here goes, i'll start...

Life seemed to be going from bad to worse for Richard, he had just got a nervous twitch in his left eye and as a result was unable to ...
.. special fake burberry cap which would nicely compliment his other fake burberry

a. aftershave
b. jacket
c. scarve
d. pair of socks
e. watch

(delete as appropriate).

This gushing and the loss of his Elizabeth Duke ring really annoyed Darren and he resorted to ...

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