Neighbours from hell - causing uproar

Discussion in 'The Intelligence Cell' started by frenchperson, Apr 19, 2007.

Welcome to the Army Rumour Service, ARRSE

The UK's largest and busiest UNofficial military website.

The heart of the site is the forum area, including:

  1. Yes

  2. No

  3. Not everything is simply black and white

  1. I won't moderate my tone at all here. These are no more than animals - and I have no shame at all in saying that.

    They've been having wild get togethers and fighting, screaming, having sex and tearing apart neighbourhoods. They're unkempt, hairy, and believe it or not these characters and their antics are actually protected by the law. They've been getting away with badgering people for a full seven years and Blair, because it's not in his neck of the woods, doesn't want to know.

    They can't be labelled either 'black' or 'white' and can't be given an ASBO - probably due to some technicality. In fact, a license is needed to approach and enter their homes!

    Worst of all, it's all done at night, when decent hardworking people are trying to sleep. No doubt, once they're knackered they'll skulk back home and lay hidden all day, putting nothing back into the same society they're so happy to tear apart. I can't believe this is Britain in the 21st century.
  2. Aren't you English supposed to be good with a longbow? You can dig a hole right? What's the problem eh?

    Failing any decisive and long lasting action... get a hold of a large container of cayane powder and sprinkle it liberally about places you prefer them not to be. It's biodegradable and works wonders on badgers, skunks, and assorted other vermin.

  3. I'm sorry but animals do not go on like that!
  4. it's obviously no good badgering them, they just won't take any notice !
    we're all use to it down here on the farm !
    and besides, animals have rights, don't they ?
  5. Just go out and pick one up and move him or her. The rest will follow. No worries, it's safe.
  6. Another set up.
  7. Your skills are wasted. Being able to give such clear, comforting and entirely sound advice means a glowing career awaits you as a Special Adviser to Ministers.

    The screaming is a real worry for people not aware of Badger behaviour. Far worse than Foxes and carries a long way. But I promise you my cousin in Canada would readily swap their Badger problem for his Bear infestation.
  8. To be fair, they've probably been out on the piss and got absolutely badgered.
  9. Doesn't Sheffield have more of a problem with owls?
  12. And even in Gleadless, they might know the difference.
  13. Biped

    Biped LE Book Reviewer

    One needs to try and get them off the estates, and under them. If you can try and lead them by hook, by crook, fur means or fowl from the plagued estates and on to the roads, one can do a number on them with one's estate.

    There is nothing more satisfying to hear than the incredible bang and subsequent splintering, cracking of plastic, rending of metal (or fibreglass if you are a chav) as you plough into said varmints. This is often followed by a loud and very angry screech from the offender-turned-offendee, the oh-so moorish of burning hair and flesh from one's exhaust and a rather large repair bill to one's estate. Small price to pay for stopping being badgered at night.

    Hairy little buggers.

    If you get pulled by the fuzz for your antics, you can always say that you thought you were crossing a zebra.
  14. With what?

    Hard to tell with some of the residents, they've already been crossed with something.