Neighbours dogs!!!!!

NO not the aussie crap! :numberone:

I have an issue that is driving me NUTTTTTTSSSSSS!!!!!!! :frustrated:

My neighbours dogs keep coming onto our property to sh*t everywhere. :shakefist: I have had words with them and this has resulted in naff all!

Time to step it up a gear........CAN I SHOOT THE FU*CKERS? (the dogs not the people....sadly). :thumleft:

Failing that anyone got any claymores? :plotting:


Lay out some nice dog food and go kick the crap out of it while its chomping away, then do the owner as well.
Each time you take a dump, fish it out of the loo and deposit it on their lawn.

If you can face it, pick up the dog crap and sling it back into their garden....followed by the dog!

Alternatively, if you have access to one, film the dog on a camcorder and then report it to the council with a very strong complaint.


Make sure fence is secure and mutt cannot just walk onto your property,write to neighbour re-keeping mutt off your property keep copy,photo mutt doing the deed,smear dog's sh*t all over shoes/clothes(have you kids? as makes it better)photo shoes,make up journal-timetable of sh*tting going back to when they acquired mutt and then get in touch with Enviro health who will move swiftly and hit toilet neighbours with abatement/control order on mutt.Will take abit of time but will nail the fcuker!
Good luck!
Try the old kiddie trick of scooping up all the turd put it in a carrier bag and deposit on neighbours doorstep. Ignite said bag and ring doorbell. The rest is history. Other than that a randon bear traps or rabbit snares should do.


Best cure is meat marinated in laxative (liquid type). Feed to the dog everyday for a week. Dog normally vanishes after 2nd week as the owners get fed up of it shitting all over the house. Works quicker if you feed the dog the days no one is at home so its alone in the house.


buy yourself a nice paintball gun set up your op overlooking said garden, wait for the filthy mutt and unleash hell on the four legged f##k
Problem is that it is natural for the dog to curl one out. The owners must take more responsibility. SO direct the anger to them and not the poor hound.

Blow a whistle each time the dog arches its back...


Why not just climb over the fence into the neighbours garden and take a dump of his grass, Then ask him how he likes it.
Quick blast on an airhorn (cheap as chips at Halfords) every time said mutt assumes the position - causes Fido to suck the turtles head back in, hopefully to leg it back home and then imitate a muckspreader on auto around the owners property.

Failing that,

(not that I would ever advocate perforating a pooch, of course)

(might need understanding neighbours and coppers)

Or being sensible... (sigh)


Dogs are territorial and clearly consider your property to be "theirs". Not the fault of the mutt, that is what they do.

So you need to reclaim your territory. All you have to do is make it clear to them that it is yours and deeply unpleasant things happen if they stray onto your patch. But you must not harm them nor do anything that could end up with Plod or worst of all the RSPCA on your case for "cruelty". The RSCPA does fine work but they have some people on board who have absolutely no sense of proportion.

Hosepipes, airhorns, perhaps charging at them bellowing like a lunatic (might not want to try that with something too big and nasty!) or anything that causes them to get the message is OK. The Alarm Mines are legal but really not the sort of thing to endear you to anyone.

I would sling the dog crap back over the fence. After all, they fed the mutt so anything it produces belongs to them.
Yes, we have a cattle fence (not for the dog but for other animals) and he soon learned not to go too near to it. The only person to get zapped by it is me though (I've not peed on it.. not that brave) but when not looking when I go to grab the gate opener (isolated).


If you have livestock you are perfectly within your rights to legally shoot the dogs if they are "worrying" the livestock. Even letting your dog walk in the same field as farm animals may be considered as "worrying".


Accidentally allow your livestock to wander onto their land and deposit a few outside their backdoor.
You can buy some really good animanl repellant for cats and dogs apparently. I use the stuff for cats (fcuking hate them with a passion - as the kids used to come in from the garden reguarly stinking of cat shite!) yellow bottle from Band Q. Keep the reciept and ask the neighbours for the money.

Alternatively keep the hose near and douse the bugger every time it comes near.........


finnisharrse said:
2bish:not so simple as you state.
Happened to my next door neighbour. Dog went wandering one evening into a farmers field full of sheep, not even lambing season. Neighbours had a knock on the door from local plod holding their dogs collar informing them that the farmer had shot their dog for being in his fields.

Another one happened a good few years back around here which I worked on, going back 20 odd years now mind. Two farms next door to each other, dog from one farm kept going onto the next door farm so farmer no. 1 shot the dog. Farmer no. 2 not happy that his dog had been shot so went round and shot farmer no. 1, dead!

Latest Threads