neighbourhood victor meldrew

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by yater_spoon, Sep 27, 2006.

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  1. My wife had a knock at the door yesterday from a traffic warden (well out of her area), and she received a request that she move her car as there had been a complaint as to where it was parked. I live in a narrow cul de sac and admittedly there is a bend, but my car was parked fully on the road, yet her's was blocking our drive in order to let the kids play on it, and slightly on the pavement. Fortunately my wife did not get a ticket as she explained the situation but the traffic warden.
    I am 99% who made the complaint, and before this incident I used to get on well with him, but this is taking the p*iss as he could have come over and asked us to move it rather than phoning the council.
    Any ideas?
  2. Bag of burning dog poo through the letter box. Its the only way
  3. Do what your avatar would have done.Come out of the dawn sun,blaring out Wagner,scares the hell out of the dinks.

    Napalm smells like.........victory

    Failing that burning dog poo is a goer
  4. Don't make this into a big thing, Yater.
    Take him a peace offering.
    A set of locking wheel nuts should do the trick.
  5. do you mean that he should fit them to the car and even keep the key so it doesn't get lost..... lets see what happens when he needs to change a tyre,long term revenge, I like it.
  6. I didn't know they came with can't prove anything. :D
  7. Sneak out tonight and nick his wheels then report an 'abandoned vehicle' to the council. Failing that...go for the dog-poo option.

    Let us know the outcome, please yater.

    I was really stunned that the Traffic Warden appears to have shown some common-sense and exercised a little initiative. I'd report that if I were you, can't have these people thinking for themselves, where would it end?
  8. Petrol and a lighter through the letterbox!

    That or go confront him, once I had this twat who had harrased some people from mums work who had 'parked on his land' in the sense of a Escourt tipper Van just overlapping someones drive way for 5 minutes while logs are moved onto it. He had a go at these bunch of lads and pushed on them who was 6 ft 4 and kick boxing champion for the North West. When they had gone he went round and had a go at my mum, I came home from works and was fcuking furious so I went round and confronted the tw@t, then when he parked on 'my drive' one day I went deflated the barstards tires. Too bad he moved away 2 months after that event.
  9. All of the above answers will only lead to increased conflict and a general downer on neighbour hood morale, perhaps you should buy him a sorry card to put threw his letter box along with the burning poo

    Or you could phone the police and tell them you saw a mexican go into his house with a back pack on, and that he smelled like chemicals! The met will turn up in seconds (even if you dont live in London) and no doubt shoot the fecker!
  10. If dropped pavements have no white lines painted in front of them on the road you can park there (its a courtesy thing) If you have white lines in front, if people park there and stop you from getting to you drive it will takes ages to sort out, no real legal quicky things that can be done. If you are blocked in by a car and have the lines there, things will happen pretty quickly if you complain.. Play him at his own game, park in front of his drive. The only time you can be legally moved in front of a dropped pavement (without a white line) is if you are blocking a public access that waste disposal people etc have to use. I assume the traffic warden was trying to have a friendly word but really he/the Council shouldnt of got involved

    Payback time me thinks! 8)
  11. Draw a six foot penis on their front door in marker pen.

    Snip the phone line. (call out fee)

    After it is repaired, undo the phone junction box and pull one of the wires loose. (another call out fee)

    (Didn't own a pooing dog or a lighter).
  12. This occurred in a residential area with no parking restrictions.
    Keep em coming!
  13. I was thinking about this subject this morning whilst walking the dogs. The only way other than burning doggy doo is to start a prolonged campaign of mis-information and deceit, spreading lies and rumour about this individual, breaking in to his home when he is out to move things around, and convince him through fake calls that his wife is having an affair. After 6 months of sustained pressure from you, he should be close to breakdown.

    Alternatively, knock on his door and ask what his fing problem is
  14. Bear in mind that you've only got the TW's version of events.

    Just as likely (or more likely) that TW pointed out offending vehicle and asked passing neighbour whose vehicle was incorrectly parked. Then, afraid of getting thumped, blamed in on neighbour.

    If TW has misled you and set up a problem between you and your innocent neighbour - it's open season.

    they're nothing but vermin.
  15. Get on to his roof in the dead of night and paint CNUT in big, white letters and outline it with fairy lights. Then start up a website with pictures of him on it and make lewd insinuations about the conduct of his private life concerning farmyard animals. Include his 'phone number and beseech other 'goat fanciers' to 'phone him to arrange a goat bukkake party.

    (Obviously I mean writing CUNT, not CNUT on his roof. If you spell it CNUT,rather than CUNT, he may just consider it to just be an exaltation to a former Danish King of England rather than labelling him as a CUNT, which he is). Bloody asterisks... don't half make this difficult.