Neighbour From Hell

Neighbour from hell, 83, faces jail over campaign of 'psychological warfare' that saw her torment young mother over dead baby all because of a football in her garden | Mail Online

Sounds a right demented old fucking witch here. Too old to have her windows put in, or a good slap, but not too old to be a victim of a cruel hoax. I would defo be up for letter her think I'm selling up. Saw hello to your new neighbours. I hope you'll all be very happy together...

Who would you say her new neighbours are to be?

a) Biker clubhouse, first English chapter of the Bandidos. Hope the Hells Angels don't pertol bomb the wrong house!!!!
b) Radical Jihadist cleric, with multiple wives and kids and has lotsa brothers drop by.
c) Drum n Bass MC who loves to play his choonz day and night. Loud.
d) Manager of a Blood & Honour band, who lets them rehearse in the garage.
e) Nudist couple with lotsa like minded friends. Can't wait for the Summer.

What would you do if she was your neighbour?
Bogus call her and steal her life savings then act as pikeys doing bodged DIY guttering/facias/roofing drives then come back and steal the lead from her roof


Gallery Guru
You could have hours of fun with a neighbour like that, she'd easily lose her temper, have a death raffle, invite her to pick a date, grow conifers, keep pigs, get a yappy dog, order her lots of things from the Sunday papers. It's quite a fun thing to do get all the sunday papers, fill in anything thats freepost, time shares, impotence cures, holidays, bunion treatments. They never stop coming, ever, they sell the addresses on and they come forever.
Sign her up to loads of mailing lists from companies like Pabo so she gets loads of grot through her letterbox, order pizzas and takeaways to her house in the middle of the night, draft the local teenagers in to play knock & run on her at all hours. Subtle and childish, but likely would have the desired effect.
Invite a load of black or Fijian guys for a bbq and intoduce them as the new neighbours.

Am sure a few fijians would be happy to rape the old hag.


Gallery Guru
I think it's pathetic that they've not managed to get this old bag tortured, nobody would believe a word she said so you could do almost anything and get away with it. What's the worst she can do play her transistor radio loudly?
In the interests of fairness, I do note that the victim and his family has, unfortunately, been re-located to Cyprus instead of a tour for him in a hot and shitty place.
Personally, for her, the neighbour, I think a pair of breeding mice (1 x male and 1 x female) through the old bag's letter box when she is away for a couple of days should sort it.
To be done, however, immediately after selling/moving out/letting said house...................
Or throw in a load of 'thunderflashes' and shout down down down (you aged anti army shitcunt) throw her in the back of a Q7 and drive her to Dunsfold where a Chinook will take her on a rendition flight of her life and her nipples will be electrocuted in the name of national security.

You can but dream eh..,..
[SUB]Loughborough magistrates handed her a five-year restraining order, fined her £900, and warned she had escaped jail only because of her age.
But just 24 hours later, the former Army base stores worker committed the first of four breaches of the order.[/SUB]
Maybe this poor poor woman just harbours a pathological hatred of all things military following years of surprise spit-roasting and/or back door action in the deepest darkest RLC blanket stores.

Burn the witch - she should be grateful that the nations finest blanket stackers found time to pay her a bit of attention.
Well the RBL have seen thru her thin veneer of respectability. She is now shown to be a chav with smart clothes and a nice house. In days gone by, she probably would have been thown in the river to see if she floats.

Due to her age, I wouldn't do physical damage to her property or person, but the thought of her getting an invite to the bikers' housewarming party, with friends from all over turning up; axe-throwing contest in the back garden, would defo freak her out. Make up a flyer for a covert gig by a white power band, and invite her along. Hope the anti-fascists don't petrol bomb the wrong house, like they did to our mates band in Germany/America or wherever. She would have kittens and plead the sergeant major to stay, promising to behave herself.

If she gets out of order again, send some friends along, claiming to be from a dodgy religious group, offering to convert her when they move in next door. The "nudists" could tell her there is gonna be a pool built in the back garden over the Winter, and ready for the Summer, when it's clothes off time, and our friends come along. I hope that will include you, Mrs. When the drink flows, some of us get a bit frisky! (Why can't I like next door to ppl like that?)
buy a dodgy transit with a months road tax and mot from ebay under a false name etc

run the old hag over

put crumpled remains in van

drive to a quarry or lake

either burn out or sink van

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