Needed a wazz so bad!

#1
Having experienced the journey from hell on a london tube train to wembley stadium this weekend, after a session on the beer ... and no toilet facilities on the train - have you ever needed a wazz so bad that you seriously contemplated disgracing yourself to relieve the agony?

:oops:
 
#2
Contemplated?

Since when has a map of Africa been a disgrace? More a badge of honour.

msr
 
#3
msr said:
Contemplated?

Since when has a map of Africa been a disgrace? More a badge of honour.

msr
...on a tube train, in front of a load of football fans - you have GOT to be joking, mate!!

(but you will never know how close I came, intentionally or otherwise!!)
 
#5
Swamped several modes of transport but more embarrasingly put a girlfreinds mam & dads fire out at sunday dinner with a spewing sesh after one too many puddings on top of the night befores ale. :oops:
 
#10
Got totally smashed on Carling premier(remember that pish?) in about 1995 and went for a slash.........

....off the top step of the pub..... into a wheely bin....of the burger joint next door.......whilst being watched by two of North Wales plod.......


...Norman "datumhead" fletcher....you are etc,etc

Legal loophole for you!

If there are no public toilets in the area, and you arn't waggling it about, you cannot be done for pizzing in a public place...



of course this happened in Wales a long time ago........
 
B

BambiBasher

Guest
#11
When I was 18, in a bloody great department store in Hobart, slightly creepy old building with lots of corridors. Bladdered and desperately looking for a khazi, being directed down long corridors by up-themselves convict bints. Finally found the 'dunny' but the sod was locked. Frenzied look around, there's one of those tall astray/bin combos they used to have in places. Last-ditch, knelt down, into the bin, aaaahhhhh blessed relief.

Heard a chime like the clang of doom behind me, it was the lift arriving at the floor, heard iron doors trundle open, but still on my knees and letting rip, piss by now running out of a hole in the bottom of the bin and spreading on the pretend-marble floor. After what felt like about five hours, heard the doors slide shut and the lift trundle down. No idea if anyone was in it, getting out or getting in as I hadn't the nerve to look around and check. Occasionally I've wondered if some convict is saying to people, "Hey, y'know, one day I was in this lift, right?..."
 
#12
Been on the lash with said girlfriend,on the sofa at parents house,condom fitted.
Needed a wazz,options,go upstairs risk waking parents,nah,pish in the kitchen sink,due to drunken stupor,neglecting condom was fitted.

After pish we hunted high and fcukin low for that condom.
Luckily(?) my dear old mum found it for me the next morning when she emptied the washing up bowl in the sink.She had a fcukin eppy.

Still cringe now,some 30 years on........ :oops:
 
#14
Back in the early 80 a bunch of us were on the pish at some scummy pub/disco that was utterly packed and they only had one barkeep. In order to get a round you have to get to the back of the four deep bar when you first got your pint and, (if you were lucky), you'd be finishing it as you ordered the next round.

So, my round was next and I got into the fray... twenty minutes later I'm busting for a pish but I'm simply not leaving the line now. I finally get to the bar with my teeth floating and the f$cking barkeep serves about three people that were after me... Now I'm full of pish and angry too... Well, we were packed so tight against the bar that I flopped it out and pished right there against the bar. Half way through my pish the barkeep wanted to know what I wanted so there's me, d1ck in hand. pishing down the front of his bar telling him what I wanted all the while trying not to laff my a$$ off... Got away with it though the carpet was a tad squelchy when I left... :D
 
#15
dazmart said:
Having experienced the journey from hell on a london tube train to wembley stadium this weekend, after a session on the beer ... and no toilet facilities on the train - have you ever needed a wazz so bad that you seriously contemplated disgracing yourself to relieve the agony?

:oops:
Yup-on the way to the Army v Navy game on the train that was FUCKING PACKED and on the way back but I was sitting with a bunch of airborne siggys and I think if I'd swamped on the train, then they would've seen it as a sign of affection...
 
#17
cheggarsRE said:
i like to swamp in public as i believe it keeps us in touch with our animal friends!!

dog sniffs lamp post and says * that i'm moving estate!
swamping in public is something to be proud of, if the circumstances are right - I could tell some impressive tales, as could we all I suspect.

the trouble was, on that tube train I was as close to 'swamping myself' as it is possible to be...never before or never since will I experience pain like that whilst hanging on for a toilet.

I seriously thought about just letting go!! :oops: (even with a quality pair of jeans on!!)
 
#18
Heading home to the UK from Germany via the Hook many moons ago on a motorbike. I hit the Dutch border to a welcome of black skies and horizontal rain...

After an hour of being drowned by Dutch rain decided to stop for a brew. Warmed slightly by the coffee I continued west, swagging my way to the Hook. Pulled up at the ferry terminal got changed into dry clothes and had a brew in the cafe. Then found it was the wrong terminal and had to get back on the bike and continue to the other side of the estuary.

Into the pouring rain again, soaked to the skin in my change of clothes I was now pissed off and pissed wet through.

Pushed for time to make my boat decided there was no point in stopping so just let it all go. Massive cloud of steam coming from my gusset and fizzing onto the engine. Strange looks from the car sat beside me at the traffic lights. Jeans were nicely dhobied by the time I got on the boat though. :D
 
#19
Passenger in a knocker driving in convoy through boxheadland,

absolutely busting for a whiz I pushed open the cupola, stood up, faced backwards and started to slash. The backdraft was feckin wicked, pish all over, my face hands, neck, keks and gob caught tons of it. Swiftly turning around to face forward I can honestly tell you that a 32 1/2 mile an hour wind causes the same effect. I was feckin drenched.
 
#20
civvygit said:
Heading home to the UK from Germany via the Hook many moons ago on a motorbike. I hit the Dutch border to a welcome of black skies and horizontal rain...

After an hour of being drowned by Dutch rain decided to stop for a brew. Warmed slightly by the coffee I continued west, swagging my way to the Hook. Pulled up at the ferry terminal got changed into dry clothes and had a brew in the cafe. Then found it was the wrong terminal and had to get back on the bike and continue to the other side of the estuary.

Into the pouring rain again, soaked to the skin in my change of clothes I was now pissed off and pissed wet through.

Pushed for time to make my boat decided there was no point in stopping so just let it all go. Massive cloud of steam coming from my gusset and fizzing onto the engine. Strange looks from the car sat beside me at the traffic lights. Jeans were nicely dhobied by the time I got on the boat though. :D
that's what's called sheer class...lol
 

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