Needed a wazz so bad!

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by dazmart, May 25, 2008.

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  1. Having experienced the journey from hell on a london tube train to wembley stadium this weekend, after a session on the beer ... and no toilet facilities on the train - have you ever needed a wazz so bad that you seriously contemplated disgracing yourself to relieve the agony?

  2. msr

    msr LE


    Since when has a map of Africa been a disgrace? More a badge of honour.

  3. ...on a tube train, in front of a load of football fans - you have GOT to be joking, mate!!

    (but you will never know how close I came, intentionally or otherwise!!)
  4. Nope bladder bursting WTFTD , either learn to play the flute ? or wazz in corner. I chose the latter and still have a unburst bladder.
  5. Swamped several modes of transport but more embarrasingly put a girlfreinds mam & dads fire out at sunday dinner with a spewing sesh after one too many puddings on top of the night befores ale. :oops:
  6. Dazmart, Leeds or Donny?.
  7. sorry mate...bristol city !!
  8. No wonder you were nipping it then. :)
  9. Good job it wasn't the other shaped ball or the tube would looked like the Orinocco flow. :lol:
  10. Got totally smashed on Carling premier(remember that pish?) in about 1995 and went for a slash......... the top step of the pub..... into a wheely bin....of the burger joint next door.......whilst being watched by two of North Wales plod.......

    ...Norman "datumhead" are etc,etc

    Legal loophole for you!

    If there are no public toilets in the area, and you arn't waggling it about, you cannot be done for pizzing in a public place...

    of course this happened in Wales a long time ago........
  11. When I was 18, in a bloody great department store in Hobart, slightly creepy old building with lots of corridors. Bladdered and desperately looking for a khazi, being directed down long corridors by up-themselves convict bints. Finally found the 'dunny' but the sod was locked. Frenzied look around, there's one of those tall astray/bin combos they used to have in places. Last-ditch, knelt down, into the bin, aaaahhhhh blessed relief.

    Heard a chime like the clang of doom behind me, it was the lift arriving at the floor, heard iron doors trundle open, but still on my knees and letting rip, piss by now running out of a hole in the bottom of the bin and spreading on the pretend-marble floor. After what felt like about five hours, heard the doors slide shut and the lift trundle down. No idea if anyone was in it, getting out or getting in as I hadn't the nerve to look around and check. Occasionally I've wondered if some convict is saying to people, "Hey, y'know, one day I was in this lift, right?..."
  12. Been on the lash with said girlfriend,on the sofa at parents house,condom fitted.
    Needed a wazz,options,go upstairs risk waking parents,nah,pish in the kitchen sink,due to drunken stupor,neglecting condom was fitted.

    After pish we hunted high and fcukin low for that condom.
    Luckily(?) my dear old mum found it for me the next morning when she emptied the washing up bowl in the sink.She had a fcukin eppy.

    Still cringe now,some 30 years on........ :oops:
  13. If Mrs T finds out that I've coughed this one,can anyone put me up for a couple of nights?
  14. Back in the early 80 a bunch of us were on the pish at some scummy pub/disco that was utterly packed and they only had one barkeep. In order to get a round you have to get to the back of the four deep bar when you first got your pint and, (if you were lucky), you'd be finishing it as you ordered the next round.

    So, my round was next and I got into the fray... twenty minutes later I'm busting for a pish but I'm simply not leaving the line now. I finally get to the bar with my teeth floating and the f$cking barkeep serves about three people that were after me... Now I'm full of pish and angry too... Well, we were packed so tight against the bar that I flopped it out and pished right there against the bar. Half way through my pish the barkeep wanted to know what I wanted so there's me, d1ck in hand. pishing down the front of his bar telling him what I wanted all the while trying not to laff my a$$ off... Got away with it though the carpet was a tad squelchy when I left... :D
  15. Yup-on the way to the Army v Navy game on the train that was FUCKING PACKED and on the way back but I was sitting with a bunch of airborne siggys and I think if I'd swamped on the train, then they would've seen it as a sign of affection...