Need to get this off my chest.

#1
What the hell is it with the walking impaired? Why the hell do they ruddy insist on crippling it up four flights of stairs with three bags of shopping and two walking sticks when there’s a perfectly good lift available?

I’m fit, I’m healthy and I take the stairs because I’m considerate like that; I leave the lift for cripples and buggy hags with wailing brats. For this saint like behaviour I expect a little consideration in return and not have to crawl behind some decrepit old bat as she puffs, pants and readjusts her incontinence pad every third step, determined to prove she’s not ready for the coffin just yet.

Her little act of bravado had already cost me 70p at the ticket machine as she insisted on putting in her own money, hands all a tremble, and refused to let her friend assist her. Yeah well that’s great love I’m sure your friend was really impressed with just how independent you are … meanwhile stood third in the queue behind you I went over the hour and had to pay for another hour I wasn’t going to use.

I had a good mind to barge past her and push her down the stairs just so she never got the chance to inconvenience me ever again.


Bah!

I feel better for that, cheers!
 

B_AND_T

MIA
Book Reviewer
#2
You could just slit her carrier bags and delight in the effort she goes to when attempting to pick up her shopping. Now lets see who needs a hip replacement.
 
#3
Old people are a constant source of irritation to me, they should be rounded up and shipped in cattle trucks, to Wales, where we can hurl them down disused mine shafts.
Feckin beige wraiths!
 
#4
Both fine suggestions.

I'll buy myself a stanley knife for crimbo.

Had already spent most my time in town dodging the wheels of mobilty scooters and snot nosed sticky fingered toddlers, really wasn't feeling pleasantly disposed towards people by the time I got back to the car park.
 
#5
It Fcuks me off when they just stop in front of you for no reason, and they all seem to get to gether for a chat about knitting, shortbread and heartbeat either right infront of the door to the shop you want to go in or infront of the drinks fridge when you want a bottle of water.

ALL OLD PEOPLE SHOULD BE SHOT AT BIRTH
 
#6
sandmanfez said:
Old people are a constant source of irritation to me, they should be rounded up and shipped in cattle trucks, to Wales, where we can hurl them down disused mine shafts.
Feckin beige wraiths!
My turn now!! 8)
I celebrated my 60th by going to a supermarket, abandoning the trolley across the aisle and starting a long chat with Mrs BS. :D
I also potter with my loose change at the checkout, counting out the pennies to pay the exact amount - but not start putting things in bags until I've paid.
I also stick to the speed limits, specifically to annoy chavs in prat-mobiles and men with dirty fingernails in white vans.
Ahhhh - it's good to be 60! :lol:
 

Alsacien

MIA
Moderator
#7
blue_sophist said:
sandmanfez said:
Old people are a constant source of irritation to me, they should be rounded up and shipped in cattle trucks, to Wales, where we can hurl them down disused mine shafts.
Feckin beige wraiths!
My turn now!! 8)
I celebrated my 60th by going to a supermarket, abandoning the trolley across the aisle and starting a long chat with Mrs BS. :D
I also potter with my loose change at the checkout, counting out the pennies to pay the exact amount - but not start putting things in bags until I've paid.
I also stick to the speed limits, specifically to annoy chavs in prat-mobiles and men with dirty fingernails in white vans.
Ahhhh - it's good to be 60! :lol:
On your island that makes you a youngster anyway :D
 
#8
Valks said:
What the hell is it with the walking impaired? Why the hell do they ruddy insist on crippling it up four flights of stairs with three bags of shopping and two walking sticks when there’s a perfectly good lift available?

I’m fit, I’m healthy and I take the stairs because I’m considerate like that; I leave the lift for cripples and buggy hags with wailing brats. For this saint like behaviour I expect a little consideration in return and not have to crawl behind some decrepit old bat as she puffs, pants and readjusts her incontinence pad every third step, determined to prove she’s not ready for the coffin just yet.

Her little act of bravado had already cost me 70p at the ticket machine as she insisted on putting in her own money, hands all a tremble, and refused to let her friend assist her. Yeah well that’s great love I’m sure your friend was really impressed with just how independent you are … meanwhile stood third in the queue behind you I went over the hour and had to pay for another hour I wasn’t going to use.

I had a good mind to barge past her and push her down the stairs just so she never got the chance to inconvenience me ever again.


Bah!

I feel better for that, cheers!
Having a 'Little My' day, Valks?
 
#9
blue_sophist said:
sandmanfez said:
Old people are a constant source of irritation to me, they should be rounded up and shipped in cattle trucks, to Wales, where we can hurl them down disused mine shafts.
Feckin beige wraiths!
My turn now!! 8)
I celebrated my 60th by going to a supermarket, abandoning the trolley across the aisle and starting a long chat with Mrs BS. :D
I also potter with my loose change at the checkout, counting out the pennies to pay the exact amount - but not start putting things in bags until I've paid.
I also stick to the speed limits, specifically to annoy chavs in prat-mobiles and men with dirty fingernails in white vans.
Ahhhh - it's good to be 60! :lol:
Well enjoy your remaining five years of decline and decay BS, I will be there at the railhead to meet you in 2011. :lol:

PS: I am susceptible to bribery, but it'll take more than a bag of Werthers and a pair of soiled string-back driving gloves. :wink:
 

TheIronDuke

ADC
Book Reviewer
#10
Having read the title to this thread Valks I expected something more...

never mind. Heres a prez. Dont say I never give you nothing.

 
#11
Valks said:
What the hell is it with the walking impaired? Why the hell do they ruddy insist on crippling it up four flights of stairs with three bags of shopping and two walking sticks when there’s a perfectly good lift available?

I’m fit, I’m healthy and I take the stairs because I’m considerate like that; I leave the lift for cripples and buggy hags with wailing brats. For this saint like behaviour I expect a little consideration in return and not have to crawl behind some decrepit old bat as she puffs, pants and readjusts her incontinence pad every third step, determined to prove she’s not ready for the coffin just yet.

Her little act of bravado had already cost me 70p at the ticket machine as she insisted on putting in her own money, hands all a tremble, and refused to let her friend assist her. Yeah well that’s great love I’m sure your friend was really impressed with just how independent you are … meanwhile stood third in the queue behind you I went over the hour and had to pay for another hour I wasn’t going to use.

I had a good mind to barge past her and push her down the stairs just so she never got the chance to inconvenience me ever again.


Bah!

I feel better for that, cheers!
I believe I have just fallen for you. Please report to my place and tell the wife she's been replaced. :lol:
 
#12
Alsacien said:
blue_sophist said:
sandmanfez said:
Old people are a constant source of irritation to me, they should be rounded up and shipped in cattle trucks, to Wales, where we can hurl them down disused mine shafts.
Feckin beige wraiths!
My turn now!! 8)
I celebrated my 60th by going to a supermarket, abandoning the trolley across the aisle and starting a long chat with Mrs BS. :D
I also potter with my loose change at the checkout, counting out the pennies to pay the exact amount - but not start putting things in bags until I've paid.

On your island that makes you a youngster anyway :D
Too f***ing true. There was a couple in paper yesterday celebrating 70 years married, and he looked no older than Flashy :lol:
And another couple of ladies in their 100's, and I'd say one of them looked about 70. Oh, God, no, I didn't fancy her, honest! :roll:
 
#14
I was on the bus the other day, it was just after 9:30 and at every stop more and more coffin dodgers kept getting on, smelling of stale urine and cat food shouting at each other because they are all deaf. They are worse than the kids and teenagers.
 
#15
LordVonHarley said:
I was on the bus the other day, it was just after 9:30 and at every stop more and more coffin dodgers kept getting on, smelling of stale urine and cat food shouting at each other because they are all deaf. They are worse than the kids and teenagers.
Sorry, I didn't quite catch that, dear ....
 
#16
blue_sophist said:
LordVonHarley said:
I was on the bus the other day, it was just after 9:30 and at every stop more and more coffin dodgers kept getting on, smelling of stale urine and cat food shouting at each other because they are all deaf. They are worse than the kids and teenagers.
Sorry, I didn't quite catch that, dear ....
I SAID "IS THAT THE GRIM REAPER BEHIND YOU" :D

A doctor friend told me that STD's where a massive problem in retirement homes as they old still make the beast with two backs and no teeth. The randy old sods!
 
#17
TheIronDuke said:
Having read the title to this thread Valks I expected something more...
This is the New Country, I have to play nice or they may turn down my visa. Don't let this put you off ... I have a whole stack of things that have p1ssed me off and will slide them in as and when. Already had a slap for being a post/attention whore .... am attempting to be less conspicuous. Tar and feathers always makes my bum look big.

Stickybomb - everyday is a Little Mi day. That's what makes me so lovable. Ask Bullet Sponge.

Blue _ sophist - I think I'm in love! Well maybe I just admire you, either way you are all I aspire to be. Irritating as feck. Shouldn't you be using your bus pass though, taking up two seats, distracting the driver and talking to anyone stupid enough to breath?

You're missing a grand opportunity to really feck people off you know.
 
#18
Valks said:
TheIronDuke said:
Having read the title to this thread Valks I expected something more...
Blue _ sophist - I think I'm in love! Well maybe I just admire you, either way you are all I aspire to be. Irritating as feck. Shouldn't you be using your bus pass though, taking up two seats, distracting the driver and talking to anyone stupid enough to breath?
You're missing a grand opportunity to really feck people off you know.
Bus pass? Travel with the common, unwashed poor? I think not, sir/madam!
I simply take the monster gas-guzzling 4x4 [sorry, should that be SUV for you?], which doesn't fit in a single parking space anyway, and I either straddle the dividing lines [after much manoeuvring, of course] or use the mother-and-brat spaces 'cos they're always under-used and there are far too many people on the planet already.
 
#19
Why do older people drive such enormous cars? Surely they only need something small, like a Fiesta or even a Smart. It seems un-necessary and extravagant.
 
#20
Oh hell I think it might be love lol

When I'm not getting driven insane by people I am thinking up ways to drive them insane and merrily putting them into practice.

I love being cheerful at the check out as I count out every single penny and drag 40 odd money off coupons out of my bag - not even bothering to see if they're in date or relevent to my purchases.

Drives the queue insane and gives me a nice warm glow inside.
 

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