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Need ideas on how to be an annoying neighbour......

Pay a tramp/hooker to start pissing in the doorway of the freeholder regularly enough to keep a smell there.

Also, do move out, this kind of thing will fcuk up your mental health. You might take a hit to your pride but at least you'll keep your dignity. Once you're somewhere else, sit on it for a while, and if you're still royally pi$$ed off THEN plan revenge. Dish best served cold etc etc.
Perhaps our resident expert in the GDR would like a holiday, and the neighbour would love to discuss the German Democratic Republic all day every day
 
Have not seen the op around recently in this. All very entertaining suggestions but no help really when you just want a bit of peace and freedom in your own home.
My Freeholder didn't actually live on the premises either so targeting the daughter isn't getting to the point.

Freeholder is the person to address.
Get onto every site relating to Leaseholder problems and fling every form, writ, challenge etc at him constantly. Doesn't have to be specific to your case just bury him in legalise. It is then his problem to fathom it all out and respond. State in every communication that you give 7 days to respond. After the 7 days fire off another one noting that they have failed to respond and engage in reasonable negotiation. Sling in every couple of missives that you have endeavoured to engage in 'reasonable' agreement.
Will cost you nothing but a few stamps and print costs. Make it your hobby. 30 minutes a day.
Worked for me and apparently reduced freeholder to tears. Unfortunately then handed over to shark management company. However these management creatures are fair game so gloves off and all previous post suggestions can be applied with impunity.
 
Ha ha, i did and still am, reading the thread ...and noticed more agree with my comments then yours .....

I can't respond to it at the 'mo, due to a 2 day ban for calling you a p*** don' cha know...... which made me smile.

Anyhoo, why did you write about the Boer way and about Post 14 - 18 issues while ignoring my simple questions about the WW1 before falling back onto your tired old rhetoric about the Winners writing history

The only fools who quote that are those who belive that we behaved as equally c****** as the Germans/Nazi's during the time periods in question i.e Revisionist f*ckwits and deniers...... e.g You .

This is in spite of the millions of words written about the vile behaviour and when all available evidence, spoken word, memoiries from all sides, clearly show that the Allies hardly registerd in the cold blodded, in face , atrocity stakes during 14 - 18 or 39 - 45

So you're left with no choice than to retreat back onto the weakest defence of all, the old Whataboutery, rather than be able to give any valid counter argument regarding the points in question.

E.G I aksed you who in 14 - 18, were the first to drop aerial bombs or shell civilians via battle ships, you respond with some tosh about the Boer War and Kurdistan in the 1920's instead of answering the question.
You are on the wrong thread.
 
Is it too late to say, "Just be yourself"?
 

Nemesis44UK

LE
Book Reviewer
Have not seen the op around recently in this. All very entertaining suggestions but no help really when you just want a bit of peace and freedom in your own home.
My Freeholder didn't actually live on the premises either so targeting the daughter isn't getting to the point.

Freeholder is the person to address.
Get onto every site relating to Leaseholder problems and fling every form, writ, challenge etc at him constantly. Doesn't have to be specific to your case just bury him in legalise. It is then his problem to fathom it all out and respond. State in every communication that you give 7 days to respond. After the 7 days fire off another one noting that they have failed to respond and engage in reasonable negotiation. Sling in every couple of missives that you have endeavoured to engage in 'reasonable' agreement.
Will cost you nothing but a few stamps and print costs. Make it your hobby. 30 minutes a day.
Worked for me and apparently reduced freeholder to tears. Unfortunately then handed over to shark management company. However these management creatures are fair game so gloves off and all previous post suggestions can be applied with impunity.
That sounds eminently sensible.
 
Spike the milk bottle delivery with tapeworm eggs
 

StBob072

LE
Book Reviewer
I think perhaps the wrong approach is being adopted here.

In my experience, nothing puts the willies up people so much as neighbours being nice.

Invite her in to talk about Jesus/meet your pet boa constrictor/ have a chat about suspected death watch beetle and environmental health.

Send her flowers. With messages such as "deepest sympathy" or "thanks for the shag".

Put incriminating stuff in her bins. If communal, put a label with her name and address on it.

If your lavatory is above hers, make loud straining and plopping noises at every opportunity.

If all else fails, goose-step up and down your living room whilst singing the Horst wessel song.
 
Reminds me of the young crofter moving to the bright lights and being phoned by his mother from the Post Office in Outer McHoocares. Please excuse the crap Jockanese accent.

"How's it goin', Angus, now that yee've moved tay London?"

"Weeel,. mother, It's fine mostly, but the neighbours are a bit strange. One keeps screaming all night and him on t'other side seems to be banging his head against the wall all the time"

"Aye well, son, no matter. They're a strange lot down there and no mistake, so you keep yoursen to yoursen".

"I do, mother. I just stay in all week and practice ma bagpipes."

Oh, my coat so soon, and is that my taxi?. I thank you.

OZ
It needs to be a pidbroch lament. Sort of an ambient doom for bagpipes maybe. Good stuff but It will either soften up the party goers or drive them crackers. Best played at "PARDON? CAN YOU SAY THAT AGAIN PLEASE? I DIDN'T HEAR YOU THE FIRST TIME" level. This is actually good stuff:

 
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lily allen cd, full volume...
 
Get as many windchimes as you can. Another noisemaker all neighbors love is the wind chime. Without any effort, after hanging them up, all you have to is wait for the wind to do its thing and to sit back and wait for your neighbor to get completely annoyed. If he asks you to take them down, just point out that it’s your home and that you have a right to decorate it however you darn well please.
 

StBob072

LE
Book Reviewer
OP, is there any communal garden or flowerbed area? Sow a few Japanese knotweeds, sit back and play the long game for a bit. Then take photos and send to the landlord. The beauty of this is that the plant in question is well known for running riot and undermining building foundations. Whilst unlikely to damage your place, it will pretty much guarantee that nobody will get a mortgage to buy any of the old ****'s property. :)
 

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