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Need ideas on how to be an annoying neighbour......

Go down the pet shop and buy some rats and put them through the letter box , if that doesn't work maybe a snake or two ,
If there was a nice plush carpet on the other side of the letter box, the owner should make sure there are no water leaks or condensation, especially while on holiday, as that can cause mustard and cress seeds to germinate. They may have unwittingly carried those on their shoes or had them spookily appear through the letter box. It's very strange how ants and slugs seem to appear from nowhere.
 
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Does she have a garden ? put her washing out on the line, ton of bird feed down have the seagulls shitting everywhere.

See if there is any bluetooth speakers downstairs, then blast em at 3am a few times. Then report them for Noise
 

Cutaway

LE
Kit Reviewer
Give the freeholder and his daughter the printed equivalent of herpes: Reader's Digest.


Alternatively visit WH Smith and marvel at the contents of their magazines.
When you've finished with the top shelf, check out all the inserts from a kakhuisvol of tat merchants offering special edition coins, tasteful porcelain shepherdess figurines or full DVD collections of the life history of everyone who has appeared on Coronation Street.
"Just fill in the card and send it postage free to the address on the back, then you will receive the first of a limited edition series of plaster busts of every French prime minister since Richelieu, each statuette lovingly sculpted by the feet of Thalidomide victims, all of whom were recently pensioned off from British Aerospace where they tested military small arms.
Enjoy the first beautiful bust for a month then receive the next for only £10.99, or return it and you will owe nothing."
 
Take up an interest in brexit, then force your every other brexit word upon yer neighbour......when they say well what about........ force a ******* spear of destiny into their lame, empty ******* 'life'......
 

Cutaway

LE
Kit Reviewer

Joshua Slocum

LE
Book Reviewer
I once returned a prank on a mate ( hes dead now so they had to stop) trouble was I forgot about it and it was years later when after hearing him complain I remembered it was me
we did laugh lots but I am not sure if he believed me
walking across a town square in Essex I was approached by two young men in matching suits with badges
I explained that I was busy and had an appointment but gave them my name and address, except it was my mate Alan who lived next door !!
those salt lake city evangelists never let go
 
If they have a pet of any kind. Call the local RSPCA and tell them they are away on holiday for a month and tell them the pet appears to be distressed and making a lot of noise but has all of a sudden went very quiet Watch as the kick in the door leaving them with a few hundred pounds worth of damage. I played out the very scenario with the prick next door after a parking dispute. He had a dog that went radio rental when anybody came near his door and it attacked the poor RSPCA guy and was sent off to the farm for its misdemeanours. Poor dug. I did get rid of the tosser next door
 
There must be some religion that requires it's adherents to create an unholy racket in the wee hours or other such anti-social commandments. Just adopt that and if she cries foul then of course she is the racist/phobic one, in this case you are guaranteed that swift and brutal justice will be visited on her once your report to the Police has been submitted.
 
Give the freeholder and his daughter the printed equivalent of herpes: Reader's Digest.


Alternatively visit WH Smith and marvel at the contents of their magazines.
When you've finished with the top shelf, check out all the inserts from a kakhuisvol of tat merchants offering special edition coins, tasteful porcelain shepherdess figurines or full DVD collections of the life history of everyone who has appeared on Coronation Street.
"Just fill in the card and send it postage free to the address on the back, then you will receive the first of a limited edition series of plaster busts of every French prime minister since Richelieu, each statuette lovingly sculpted by the feet of Thalidomide victims, all of whom were recently pensioned off from British Aerospace where they tested military small arms.
Enjoy the first beautiful bust for a month then receive the next for only £10.99, or return it and you will owe nothing."
we did the spam post thing to Sgt K**** C***** at 47 Regt. He got to stay back while the rest of us went to NI.
He was getting free rubber cocks, catalogues for wigs, memorials, driveways, rubber cocks conservatories, double glazing, rubber cocks, incontinence pants(plus free samples), more cocks and such like for months. Basically anything we could get for free, or the price of a stamped addressed envelope. Nothing that had to be cancelled though or would cost him anything other than his sanity/dignity.
ICS wouldn't stop sending him info about a dressmaking course for over 2 years.
 

Cutaway

LE
Kit Reviewer
we did the spam post thing to Sgt K**** C***** at 47 Regt. He got to stay back while the rest of us went to NI.
He was getting free rubber cocks, catalogues for wigs, memorials, driveways, rubber cocks conservatories, double glazing, rubber cocks, incontinence pants(plus free samples), more cocks and such like for months. Basically anything we could get for free, or the price of a stamped addressed envelope. Nothing that had to be cancelled though or would cost him anything other than his sanity/dignity.
ICS wouldn't stop sending him info about a dressmaking course for over 2 years.
Yep a tried and tested method, they love it.
Not for nothing is Digest known as the gift that goes on giving, it's far easier to mag HIV.

I'd disagree with your, "nothing that had to be cancelled though or would cost him anything other than his sanity/dignity" caveat, it's got to involve effort and hopefully cash on the part of the tgt.
 
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