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Need ideas on how to be an annoying neighbour......


Book Reviewer
I was going to suggest similar... ie get some 'S&M Escort Service' business cards printed out with her name, address, 'service' she was providing and put them up in the local telephone boxes with all the prossies cards.... but then I remembered that it's 2018 and I can hardly remember the last time I saw a telephone box on-street....

..and I guess that printed business cards for hookers went out with the Ark since everything's available as an App these days.... Can you still buy Razzle?
Nope, saw some the other day just by Euston station in the telephone boxes around there.


Book Reviewer
Go down the pet shop and buy some rats and put them through the letter box , if that doesn't work maybe a snake or two ,
Record a baby crying , copy it , randomly into a hours worth of silence

Start the recording off and set it to randomly play on your playback device.

Start it a 0700 and stop it at 2300.

Keep it so they can “ just “ hear it. Not earsplittingly loud . That means if the go down the ASBO route for you , then....

Unfortunately there is not a defined level above which it is too noisy and below which is acceptable. This makes noise disturbance a subjective issue and complicates matters.

And just wait
Get Scotland* to move in next door.

*change country according to taste
order several tons of rubble or horse poo to be delivered to them
Leasehold property

Responsibility for repairs in leasehold flats and houses

Leaseholder tribunal

Leaseholders: Do your homework to fight back

Read for yourselves the following:
Unfair Contract Terms 1977
Liability arising in contract - Introductory 3. (1)

have you seen sight of their contract as in proof as to their terms of business? If you have no contract that you have signed stating you agree to them acting on behalf of the Freeholder, would mean that there is no case to answer insofar as any alleged Debt is concerned? A lot of Freeholders assume that they have a contract with you in that you signed a Lease (a signed contract under seal) & as such can charge what they want. Actually that's not the case. The basic concept of a contract is they offer a service and you accept = a contract. If you you've never been offered a contract then you can challenge this

4. Unreasonable Indemnity Clauses - 4.(1)

no you can't be locked in to an unreasonable
contract. Think of the context here, you are written to outlining their proposal for proposed works & you know full well it's an inflated price.

What to do next? Quote this back at them then.

Other provisions about contracts - "Avoidance of provision excluding liability for misrepresentation"

8. (1) above is linked to the Misrepresentation Act 1967 (b) any remedy available to another party to the contract by reason of such a misrepresentation that term shall be of no effect in so far as it satisfies the requirement of reasonableness as stated in Part 1 s.11 (1) of the Unfair Contract Terms Act 1977 ; and it is for those claiming that the term satisfies that requirement to show it does.

the magic word here is reasonableness & the onus is on the other side to prove their case.

Commonhold Leasehold Reform Act 2000
112 Defeinitions (2) (b) Tenancy can not be used as a sufference -

too many Freeholders are now making out that Leaseholders (residential) are only Tenants. This has to stop.

These are good if you state your problems in here :- The Consumer Forums
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What’s your point?

I was a member of the Labour Party back in the 1980s and never heard a single antisemitic statement.

I jacked it in but still have a lot of friends who are party members. None of whom have ever uttered an antiSemitic statement.

Younger members were antiZionist, which is an entirely different kettle of fish. Many Jews are antiZionist, mostly on theological grounds. Older members were because they remembered Zionists hanging British soldiers. The same British soldiers who had spent six years fighting Nazi Germany.

So I fail to understand the point you are trying to make.
personally i found the Cernunnos thread - "Lezzers God Bless them" and the tale of war with his neighbour a source of considerable entertainment and inspiration in such matters
Classical music. Guaranteed to drive most people bonkers eventually.
Radio 3 preferably, played through a good any old stereo with lots of bass -- with a sub-woofer. Just has to be loud enough for the bass to reverberate through their flat.

Get tons of takeaway food delivered to them, 30 minutes after they have gone to bed. Set your phone to withhold your phone number or better still, find her phone number and give that. Ditto taxis to the airport at 0300 etc.

Find out the number of your local pikey tarmac / UPVC / tree surgeon etc and book appointments for them to come round to her flat.

If you can get some photos e.g. from their FB page then post her on Tinder / him on Grindr etc.

Setting fire to the flat is good but might get someone killed. Ideally you want the fire to occur when you are out at work, so chip pan with 1" of water underneath the oil on a low-ish light, then clear off to the pub with mates. Electric heater plus towel (not the thermostatic type of heater) etc.

Small hole in one of your drain pipes (preferably back of the toilet as it will whiff) and let it percolate down into their flat.

In the meantime (being serious) get the fvck out, permanently.
personally i found the Cernunnos thread - "Lezzers God Bless them" and the tale of war with his neighbour a source of considerable entertainment and inspiration in such matters
I remember that particular story, made me laugh out loud a lot, very entertaining.


Book Reviewer
Go to a phone box in hoodie and baseball hat natch, phone the anti-terrorism hotline and tell them there is a couple in that flat who have Muslim friends around at all times of day and night and there’s a weird chemical smell coming from the flat.

Or, alternatively, smash down their door and chop them up with a machete, posting the daughter’s head back to her dodgy father.

Y’know, your choice, man.

Joking aside, as a reptile owner, I can tell you that crickets on the loose are an absolute pain in the arse. Noisiest insects ever and chirp for hours upon hours.
I'm deadly serious guys. There's little things that make people's life hell after a while. I need a list to work through!
Tinitus is a bugger. It was probably that noise downstairs that triggered it. No wonder you have to shout to hear yourself think (that could sound like Tourette's to anyone who doesn't know better) and had to turn up the music and telly so you could hear them. That kind of stress could bring on nightmares. I wouldn't be surprised if you started shouting in your sleep. Have you tried writing to your local councillors / MP?

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