Need ideas on how to be an annoying neighbour......

#61
take up smoking and then lecture them (at great length) in incredible detail various conspiracy theorys about how it's actually good for you.
 
#64
Do jews eat pork?
Wrap her front door handle in bacon
It's an unusual serving suggestion.
Or do you think they open the door with their teeth?
 
#65
None of these suggestions will help with the neighbours. Unfortunately there are few successful options.

If rational debate doesn't work you can go down the legal route, leave, or threaten with violence then resort to violence. Or put up with it.

Bad neighbours can become a real nightmare and it only takes one.
 
#66
Pick up some local rent boys and murder them, keep them around for a few days to keep you company until they begin to smell, then cut them up and cook them, and put the rest down the drains.
 
#68
Get their telephone number, put a advert in the local papers for a "all night taxi service"
I was going to suggest similar... ie get some 'S&M Escort Service' business cards printed out with her name, address, 'service' she was providing and put them up in the local telephone boxes with all the prossies cards.... but then I remembered that it's 2018 and I can hardly remember the last time I saw a telephone box on-street....

..and I guess that printed business cards for hookers went out with the Ark since everything's available as an App these days.... Can you still buy Razzle?
 
#69
Insure your stuff up the wazoo.

Bung it all in the Yellow Box and insure it again.

Bung a load of old tat in your gaff.

Burn the whole place down.

Start the fire about 03:00 (with a bit of luck it will kill the landlord).

(Avoid accelerants you might not reasonably be expected to have, like four gallons of diesel).

Job jobbed.
 
#70
Pick up some local rent boys and murder them, keep them around for a few days to keep you company until they begin to smell, then cut them up and cook them, and put the rest down the drains.
this advice belongs in the cookery thread
 
#71
Pick up some local rent boys and murder them, keep them around for a few days to keep you company until they begin to smell, then cut them up and cook them, and put the rest down the drains.
Yes, yes, that's good for a hobby, but what about the neighbours?

It occurs to me, reference my Car Alarm post above, you can somewhat Lean the process by removing the catapult part and just fitting an alarm with a panic button. Loads on eBay.

I still like the Tramp upgrade though.
 
#72
Do you live directly above the person you are trying to annoy?
if so if you haven't already get laminate flooring but don't put the insulation/padding stuff under it and make it a bit loose then get a 3 year old to spend all weekend every weekend to run up and down non stop for 15-18 hours a day
Also if they have a dedicated parking space get random people to park in the space every time they go out, you could also try to get everyone in the building as soon as there is the slightest thing that goes wrong that the landlord is responsible for knocking on her door and complaining and saying well your dad is the landlord who else would we complain too
dicking with any automatic smoke detectors so that the test beep goes off every 20 seconds is for winners too
 
#73
Yes, yes, that's good for a hobby, but what about the neighbours?

It occurs to me, reference my Car Alarm post above, you can somewhat Lean the process by removing the catapult part and just fitting an alarm with a panic button. Loads on eBay.

I still like the Tramp upgrade though.
the tramp upgrade also helps some poor unfortunate person who may otherwise be taken advantage of
 
#76
You could become a Jehovah's Witness.

It's risky though, you might get stuck.
 
#77
print all of bugsys post out on seperate peices of paper, post them (a few at a time) through their letter box


or send put them in envelopes, and post them without paying the postage.
 
#78
It's a benevolent and charitable act. You should totally do the Tramp In A Van option.
I've just got rid of my van, however I could put one up in the trailer (it's the back end of a Mk4 escort van) though for advertising purposes maybe calling it 'vagrant in a van' and 'tramp in a trailer' would work? along with 'bum in a bus*' and to go a bit more septic 'wino in a winnebago'

edited to add - I forgot about 'total and utter bellsniffing cockjuggling thundercunt in an Audi - nothing to do with tramps, just that so many fuckweasels end up driving audis'

*although that could be taken (literally) the wrong way
 
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#79
Not seeing the problem with the daughter? It's her Father you need to target.And when i say target I mean enter into negotiations with obviously.
 
#80
Once again I've been advised that I certainly shouldn't suggest the Blackadder wise woman solution of 'Kill everyone'
 

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