Need Help "House Clearing"

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by Aleegee1698, Oct 7, 2011.

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  1. Landed a top contract 3 months ago for a total refurb of a 265m² 1930s 3-storey Villa in the area. My Clients bought the property by "Zwangsversteigerung" (Involuntary auctioning by the Bank) and got it for a steal. Mind you, you are not allowed to view the interior during a "Zwangsversteigerung" so God knows what awaits us.

    However, that is not the problem, the problem is that the former owners refuse to leave the property, and this can go through many court hearings before they are finally evicted, at worst, taking upto 2 years.

    The place has a massive 40m² Balcony, so I was just wondering if there were any ex Them on here who would like to earn a few quid on the side and "help the occupants leave".

    Failing that, any other (il)legal ideas?
     
  2. Any kids in there? If not, CS through the air vents. You can buy it online. Thats if you want the softly softly approach, failing that Chuck Norris the front door and windmill the fuckers with a rounders bat, or 4D Maglite
     
  3. A bag of diseased rats or other small vermin........ just saying :)
     
  4. OC gas squirted through the keyhole or under the doors. Doesn't require much and won't leave the crystalline residue CS and CN does.
     
  5. TheIronDuke

    TheIronDuke LE Book Reviewer

    My mate Nadia uses that expression. Like "Sorry, cant make it Duke. My Clients need me to be at the City Airport for a hop to Paris. Call you laters babes, yah".

    Nadia is a top-end hooker. And she capitalises the 'M' and the 'C' of My Clients. Just like you.

    So, now that we have established the fact that you are a hooker, kneel down and open your mouth.
     
  6. FFS, outed again, and theres me doing my best to portray a common General Builder, Guv.
     
  7. It's insured isn't it, have a tragic fire.
     
    • Like Like x 2
  8. Easy....6 blokes, 6 baseball bats, 6 balaclava masks, oh and about 6 minutes to clear the fuckers out. Simples!!!!!
     
  9. Do you realise how expensive benz is nowadays FFS!!!!!
     
  10. Christ, I m not gonna Ram-raid it with my SLR500 (or wotever theyre called)

    Hows things DD?
     
  11. Writing juden on the door used to work...On second thoughts write "Greeks live here". In German obviously.
     
    • Like Like x 2
  12. Yeah, good mate.

    SLR500, you posh cunt

    I've only got an AK47
     
  13. Delete "My", insert "a, or an" from my last post
     
  14. Yeah, Yeah,

    We all know what you builder types are like...

    Probably running an SA80 :winkrazz:
     
  15. No mate, fallen on hard times, its a CB50 now. (with trailer)