Need cooking advice

Discussion in 'Cookery' started by PrayingMantis, Oct 6, 2008.

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  1. ive got this doris coming round mine for dinner on wednsday and i cant cook for sh*t any help on a simply meal to prep and cook would be greatly appreciated

  2. Emergency pasta - boil up a couple of fistfuls for ten minutes, fire in some pesto and a tin of salmon or tuna when it's cooked and drained. Make a show of dusting with parmesan cheese and pepper. Serve with a bottle of chianti.
  3. By "can't cook for sh*t", do you mean you burn water? Or can you manage to use a microwave or cook basic stuff?
  4. cheers jarrod
  5. can use a microwave and i know how to turn the oven on, but i've never cooked a proper meal before to be honest
  6. Scrambled egg on toast? Or as you can turn on the oven how about baked potatoes and beans?
  7. I'm pretty crap at cooking myself, but I put this post up a fair while back.
    Easy to make, well worth a try, so long as she isn't either a vegetarian or, like my other half, a vegan.
  8. No, take her out; have an emergency in your flat which cannot be fixed, and tell her that you have reserved a table in a nice little place nearby!

  9. Don't cook, steal.

    Find a drunk in the street waltzing with a kebab - rob him.

    His drunken mate will rush out of the shop exclaiming, " who steamed into you for fxxks sake bruv "

    Rob him also.

    Go home with your serious take away.
  10. Or do as a friend of mine does and go to a decent supermarket and buy good ready meals that simply need cooking through. And I don't mean cottage pie and the like! The better end of the scale and simply follow instructions on the box. Remember to add's easy to steam broccoli in the microwave for example.

    Pudding is just as easy - some of them come in glass or ceramic pots as well so look good with no effort. And don't forget the wine.

    Then as Jarrod Delia's Complete Cookery Course - and start practising.

    edited: for heaven's sake, who invented spelling?:)
  11. Stick to robbery - the food is an adventure. After all, who ordered it and why ?
  12. cheers for the advice, the ready meal idea sounds good
    although this is the sort of bird ideally i'd like to impress

  13. Puddings are really easy dear, they come in all shapes and sizes.
  14. Open a can of Westler's Sausages in Lard....

    Seriously, though - do a lasagne.

    Recipe here:

    Nearly all the ingredients come in jars, so there's very little preparation involved. You can't make many mistakes with lasagne - just don't burn it. Remember to drop the oven temperature by 20 degrees if you've got a fan-assisted oven.

    Once you've had a bit more practice in the kitchen, then have a go at making it from basic ingredients.