Need cooking advice

#1
ive got this doris coming round mine for dinner on wednsday and i cant cook for sh*t any help on a simply meal to prep and cook would be greatly appreciated

cheers
PM
 
#2
Emergency pasta - boil up a couple of fistfuls for ten minutes, fire in some pesto and a tin of salmon or tuna when it's cooked and drained. Make a show of dusting with parmesan cheese and pepper. Serve with a bottle of chianti.
 
#3
By "can't cook for sh*t", do you mean you burn water? Or can you manage to use a microwave or cook basic stuff?
 
#4
cheers jarrod
 
#6
can use a microwave and i know how to turn the oven on, but i've never cooked a proper meal before to be honest
 
#8
I'm pretty crap at cooking myself, but I put this post up a fair while back.
Easy to make, well worth a try, so long as she isn't either a vegetarian or, like my other half, a vegan.
CLICKY
 
#9
No, take her out; have an emergency in your flat which cannot be fixed, and tell her that you have reserved a table in a nice little place nearby!

Litotes
 
#10
Don't cook, steal.

Find a drunk in the street waltzing with a kebab - rob him.

His drunken mate will rush out of the shop exclaiming, " who steamed into you for fxxks sake bruv "

Rob him also.

Go home with your serious take away.
 
#11
Or do as a friend of mine does and go to a decent supermarket and buy good ready meals that simply need cooking through. And I don't mean cottage pie and the like! The better end of the scale and simply follow instructions on the box. Remember to add vegetables...it's easy to steam broccoli in the microwave for example.

Pudding is just as easy - some of them come in glass or ceramic pots as well so look good with no effort. And don't forget the wine.


Then as Jarrod says...buy Delia's Complete Cookery Course - and start practising.


edited: for heaven's sake, who invented spelling?:)
 
#13
cheers for the advice, the ready meal idea sounds good
although this is the sort of bird ideally i'd like to impress
 
#14
blueygirl said:
Or do as a friend of mine does and go to a decent supermarket and buy good ready meals that simply need cooking through. And I don't mean cottage pie and the like! The better end of the scale and simply follow instructions on the box. Remember to add vegetables...it's easy to steam broccoli in the microwave for example.

Pudding is just as easy - some of them come in glass or ceramic pots as well so look good with no effort. And don't forget the wine.


Then as Jarrod says...buy Delia's Complete Cookery Course - and start practising.


edited: for heaven's sake, who invented spelling?:)

Puddings are really easy dear, they come in all shapes and sizes.
 
#15
Open a can of Westler's Sausages in Lard....

Seriously, though - do a lasagne.

Recipe here: http://www.sainsburys.co.uk/food/re...tegory=recipe&searchtype=single&query=lasagne

Nearly all the ingredients come in jars, so there's very little preparation involved. You can't make many mistakes with lasagne - just don't burn it. Remember to drop the oven temperature by 20 degrees if you've got a fan-assisted oven.

Once you've had a bit more practice in the kitchen, then have a go at making it from basic ingredients.
 

acl

Old-Salt
#16
I personally wouldn't risk it so take the advice on here and take her out for a meal to a nice restaurant, NOT to a pub.

But, if you still want to risk it and prepare the meal yourself, here it goes:

Go to your local supermarket

1.- Buy a packet of already cut breasts chicken fillets and a bottle of any jamaican red pepper sauce.
2.- Buy 2 bags of semi-cooked rice which I believe it's called 'Mr Ben' or Benny, can't remember. But this rice comes in different flavours like mexican, fried egg rice, etc, and you don't touch the rice itself. All you do is cut an inch off the bag and place it inside your microwave and it's cooked on full power for 3 minutes (you just empty the bag on the place afterwards).

Fry the chicken with little oil and pour the jamaican red pepper sauce over it, not the whole bottle obviously, just enough to give it flavour. Watch the oil amount, you don't want to end up with a greasy chicken.

That's it. Dead easy. If my BF can cook this so can you. Good luck tiger!
 
#17
blueygirl said:
Or do as a friend of mine does and go to a decent supermarket and buy good ready meals that simply need cooking through. And I don't mean cottage pie and the like! The better end of the scale and simply follow instructions on the box. Remember to add vegetables...it's easy to steam broccoli in the microwave for example.

Pudding is just as easy - some of them come in glass or ceramic pots as well so look good with no effort. And don't forget the wine.


Then as Jarrod says...buy Delia's Complete Cookery Course - and start practising.


edited: for heaven's sake, who invented spelling?:)
Why shoot yourself in the foot? The evil wench will only expect better and better food as her claws dig in deeper.

Scrambled egg on toast! Just like your best boots on an NCO cadre, start off shit to show you are improving.
 
#18
PrayingMantis said:
cheers for the advice, the ready meal idea sounds good
although this is the sort of bird ideally i'd like to impress
DON'T!!!!!!

Ready meals don't impress and they never taste of anything remotely like food.

All it tells your GF is that she's not worth the effort.



On the other hand, it could tell her that you're doomed to malnutrition unless she takes a hand and feeds you on a regular basis. There is some merit in this ploy.
 

acl

Old-Salt
#19
I agree with the above. Ready meals are disgusting. The BF would eat dog sh1te if hungry but even he thinks ready meals are awful.

Take her out or cook her something easy.
 
Thread starter Similar threads Forum Replies Date
C Cookery 0
PartTimePongo Charities and Welfare 30
A The Intelligence Cell 6

Similar threads

Latest Threads

Top