Need advice

I posted this at Rear Party and someone suggested coming back here to get a better opinion so here it is again

My brother left a pregnant girlfriend fairly recently and both were very excited.

She has since lost the baby and is now (naturally) wondering when and if to tell him. She hasn't been in the best mental and emotional state as it's a very recent development.

So he knew that she was pregnant, and now she's not?

There is no 'if', he deserves to be told. As a man I would like to know straight away, however, it would probably be better for her to wait until she is feeling a little more stable, as I imagine adding his grief on top of it all wont be a very easy thing to cope with.

Good luck to them both.
Did he leave whilst she was still preggers? Your Q is a bit confusing on that one. I think she should say something to him as he was supposed to be the prospective father...I'd want to know!
Depends on circumstances really but I think in the long run, mental or not she should tell him....just maybe let her grive first? That or you do the brother bit and tell him yourself over a QUIET pint. (you wont want him blubbing like he's just taken a hot crumpet from behind in the pub will you?)
Yes, he did leave while she was still pregnant and we realise that he'll eventually have to know, but we're wondering what the best time to tell him would be! Sorry about the confusion.
So sorry to read your post.

I reckon soon as possible. When there's bad news to be had people tend to want the worst straight up. When is he due back? You can't let the poor bloke wait another 4 months or whatever thinking he's got a kid on the way. It'll only make it worse.

As his brother, surely you know him best. As the girlfriend is in a real state, the suggestion that you do the deed is a sensible one.

Good luck whatever you decide.

Kind regards

AbsoluteJEM said:
As his brother, surely you know him best.
His sister! I could let him know if it would help her, but I don't know if it's my place do that. He's not back for a few months so I suppose letting him know straight away, while it's the hardest thing, is the most sensible decision.
I would have to say, if i had gone away for a while and left thinking the girlfriend was pregnant, then she lost it, i would want to know at the earliest oppertunity.
Preferablly from the girlfriend, but if not from here i would expect at least a phone call from a mate of mine or hers,not telling me the news as such, but saying 'i think you need to ring your Mrs, its important.'

So maybe you can approach it in that sense
I would want to know as soon as possible too, if no other reason than to be able to relax knowing that the CSA will not be able to hound me.

Harsh? Maybe but true as well.

This boils down to ex-girlfriend who was pregnant is no longer, all very sad for her, but actually a non-event for him. After all what is he expected to do about it?

I suppose he could say something nice, but what else?
just re-read the post, now not certain sge was ex-girlfriend, however, just tell him. It is not the end of the world for either of them.
Um, maybe I've read this wrong, but Rad, when you say "left" do you mean that they're still together as a couple and he's away on an op tour or that they've split and he's away on an op tour?
Sorry about the confusion. Left as in he's gone away for awhile but they're still together. In any case, matter seems to be resolved. Thanks for the advice!

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