Need Advice Re Domestic Violence

Discussion in 'The Other Half' started by JoeCivvie, Sep 8, 2010.

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  1. Just had a call from a friend in the UK - her b/f, who's just left the Army, has slapped her around for the second time and locked her out of their house (although it's in her name).

    I've told her to get around to the Old Bill to get this on record, but can anyone offer any other sensible advice? For instance, can his old unit's welfare officer help?

  2. Edited to catch up.
  3. Luckily she's a bit more switched-on than that - she just wants shot of him. I think that if she needs a restraining order or the situation escalates she'll need a paper-trial to point to.
  4. Good, I stand corrected. OK then, she'll need to consider having her injuries examined and recorded by her GP. I assume that most of the attacks are taking place at home; if the neighbours can see/hear what's happening, they're witnesses, whether they want to get involved or not. I wouldn't point this out to them though.
  5. PS, she'll need bombproof legal advice about keeping him out of her house (lucky it's hers, could be a bit sticky otherwise) Changing the locks might be a good start.
  6. Thanks, I'll pass that on.
  7. She also needs to inform her local plod every time this happens to her so that there's a record of it.

    Tell her to get in touch with Womens Aid as well, fantastic organisation and a mine of information about what she can do to get this situation sorted out rather than an anonymous forum like this one!
  8. The police should have domestic violence specialists who can advise.

    Get him charged every time he's violent. You do him no favours by turning a blind eye or continually giving him last chances. Bloke in my street when I was a kid started giving his wife a slap on Saturday nights. Ended up putting her in intensive care and getting a hefty jail sentence. If it had been nipped in the bud at the common assault stage things would have been better for all concerned.
  9. Why would she need bombproof legal advice? The house is in her name, if she changes the locks and he gets in uninvited, it's trespass. If he's in the house and won't leave, call the police and they will remove him. Restraining order is a good way to go, never have any dealings with him unless other people are present. Ask the police to put an alert on her phone, if she dials 999 for any reason and even if the call is disconnected within seconds, the plod will attend. Women's Aid are stars and can offer all kinds of advice.

    Do they have children together?
  10. As part of the 'paper trail' referred to above.
  11. Eviction of somebody from the house where they live is a nightmare. Look at the hassle getting rid of pikeys. A couple round my way just got sent to prison for asking to view houses at estate agents. When they gained entry, they simply refused to leave until the owner obtained a court order and sent the bailiffs in. They trashed each place and ran up massive phone bills.

    Having said this, I think there's legislation to get a violent partner out quick. Police, Women's Aid or CAB will be able to advise.

    Not unless he's breaking the law. If you say "It's my house and I want him out" they'll just tell you that's a civil matter and you need to consult a solicitor.

    Throw the book at the wife battering b@stard. He can't slap anybody about if he's banged up.
  12. Just as a caution, a friend of mine (my ex manager) had a restraining order on her now ex husband after he threw her down the stairs and he went straight round a beat up her 70 year old disabled mother (a nice bloke) he stayed there for 8 hrs tormenting her until the police turned up because her details were not on the restraining order as well......
  13. "Why would she need bombproof legal advice?" Because lawyers are lower than a snake's testicles and if her bf walks into a solicitor's office and retains their services, they will do everything they can to muddy the water, get some advantageous settlement etc. Her ownership of her own property will be a mere "factor" at this stage and they will go round and round while the meter is running.

    Why don't sharks eat lawyers after shipwrecks? Professional courtesy.
  14. No thank goodness.

    Thanks for all the sound advice - will pass it on.
  15. I have actually had personal experience of this with my now ex-husband. Due to the problems I was having with him, my landlord transferred the lease into my name only and on a few occasions that my husband came round to visit the children and then started causing problems, a quick call to plod soon got him out. I suppose it depends on how good/sympathetic your local plod are to the situation.