Need a witty riposte

#1
As I have a terminal disease, which means I think of the witty comment 30 seconds after it should have been said, I thought I'd ask the gathered masses the following, in the hope of some inspiration.

When you are approached outside the polling station tomorrow, by the local Lairbore candidate/representative, what is your response when they ask if you intend to vote Liarbore?

S_R
 
#3
Laughing in their faces would be appropriate...
 

maguire

LE
Book Reviewer
#4
make a grab for their wallet (or purse), and when asked what they hell you're playing at, ask them if *they* would vote for someone who intends to steal all their money off them.

then of course, kick them in the cnut for asking the question in the first place.
 
#7
Sympathetic_Reaction said:
As I have a terminal disease, which means I think of the witty comment 30 seconds after it should have been said, I thought I'd ask the gathered masses the following, in the hope of some inspiration.

When you are approached outside the polling station tomorrow, by the local Lairbore candidate/representative, what is your response when they ask if you intend to vote Liarbore?

S_R

F*CK OFF YOU THIEVING B*STARD
 
#8
Sympathetic_Reaction said:
When you are approached outside the polling station tomorrow, by the local Lairbore candidate/representative, what is your response when they ask if you intend to vote Liarbore?
Just say yes. False hope will make their crushing defeat that much sweeter :D
 
#9
I could say yes and be a liar like one of you lot, but unfortunately I cannot answer that question sir/Madam
 
#10
Just smack him round the head, kick him to the floor and stand over him menacingly for about an hour or so. When no police bother coming to his aid, point out that this is one of the reasons he and his pointless band of thieves will soon be out of a job.
 
#11
"Of course! I've been earmarked as the replacement in the forthcoming dismissals - But not a word. OK?"
 
T

Tremaine

Guest
#12
That depends on whether I embrace your principles or one of your mistresses, and charge it your expense account :wink:
 
#13
In reply


"Do I look like a complete fucktard?"

"What do you think? do i look like I want to spend the next five years under another load of bollocks government?"

"Yes, I plan to take their example and fiddle my tax returns as per their expenses"

"Fook off knob"

"No, im not gay, black, refugee status, immigrant, or leftwing, so why vote for a party that cant do anything for me?"

I have more, just ask.
 
#17
I would tell them that I had originally intended to vote Labour and that this was entirely within the both the letter and the spirit of the rules. However, as I now realised that public feeling was strongly in favour of my vote being changed I had acknowledged making an honest mistake and would conform with the verdict of the court of public opinion, even though I had done nothing wrong. I would further point out that I just wished that electoral candidates would focus on the real issues of this election instead of focussing on personalities.
 
#19
It's been a long time since I was involved in a ballot count, but as far as I recollect standing candidates are not allowed to question the public outside a polling station on the day of an election. Candidates are, however, allowed to appoint 'tellers' to collect information for statistical purposes. However, the law is clear that tellers must not approach voters until they have left the polling station. Furthermore, voters are under no obligation to answer any questions asked by tellers.

Back on topic. What would I say, if asked? I'd tell them that in the event of a glorious revolution they'd be first against the wall, but only after a prolonged period of anal savagery with a circular sander.
 

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