Necrophilia

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#2
FFS. I was foolish enough to open that link on my office PC. nearly wet myself.
 
#3
Coffin' and splutterin' myself - it's dead boring you know...
 
#4
I don't know what's more worrying; that that site exists,or you found it CP :D

S+M, necrophilia and beastiality - like floging a dead horse!
 
#5
I just fired a sprinkle of precum into my speedo's

I'll be back in an hour, off out with a shovel and some baby oil
 
E

error_unknown

Guest
#6
furry_dude said:
I don't know what's more worrying; that that site exists,or you found it CP :D
I'm getting on a bit you know, it cheers me up to think I've still got a chance with the birds...
 
#7
Drunk walks into a bar with a dead dog under his arm, and puts it on the bar and proceeds to order a drink. The bartender comes up to him and says "you can't leave that lying there" and the drunk says "Sthats not a lion, sthats a dog"

Surviving Scary Situations

* When it seems that you have killed the monster, *never* check to see if it's really dead.

* If you find that your house is built upon or near a cemetery, was once a church that was used for black masses, had previous inhabitants who went mad or committed suicide or died in some horrible fashion, or had inhabitants who performed necrophilia or satanic practices in your house, move away immediately.

* Never read a book of demon summoning aloud, even as a joke.

* Do not search the basement, especially if the power has just gone out.

* If your children speak to you in Latin or any other language which they do not know, or if they speak to you using a voice which is other than their own, shoot them immediately. It will save you a lot of grief in the long run. NOTE: It will probably take some time to kill them, so be prepared.

* When you have the benefit of numbers, *never* pair off or go it alone.

* As a general rule, don't solve puzzles that open portals to Hell.

* Never stand in, on, above, below, beside, or anywhere near a grave, tomb, crypt, mausoleum, or other house of the dead.

* If you're searching for something which caused a noise and find out that it's just the cat, leave the room immediately, if you value your life.

* If appliances start operating by themselves, move out.

* Do not take *anything* from the dead.

* If you find a town which looks deserted, it's probably for a reason. Take the hint and stay away.

* Don't fool with recombinant DNA technology unless you're sure you know what you are doing.

* If you're running from the monster, expect to trip or fall down at least twice, more if you are of the female persuasion. Also note that, although you are running and the monster is merely shambling along, it's still moving fast enough to catch up with you.

* If your companions suddenly begin to exhibit uncharacteristic behavior such as hissing, fascination for blood, glowing eyes, increasing hairiness, and so on, get away from them as fast as possible.

* Stay away from certain geographical locations, some of which are listed here: Amityville, Elm Street, Transylvania, Nilbog (God help you if you recognize this one), the Bermuda Triangle, or any small town in Maine.

* If your car runs out of gas at night, do not go to the nearby deserted-looking house to phone for help.

* Beware of strangers bearing tools such as chain saws, staple guns, hedge trimmers, electric carving knives, combines, lawnmowers, butane torches, soldering irons, band saws, or any device made from deceased companions. (especially if you are U.S. Border Patrol or Customs Agent)


:roll:
 
#9
chickenpunk said:
I'm getting on a bit you know, it cheers me up to think I've still got a chance with the birds...
You could always lob one up Dale...... just get her to flush her bucket out first.
 
#10
Mighty_doh_nut said:
chickenpunk said:
I'm getting on a bit you know, it cheers me up to think I've still got a chance with the birds...
You could always lob one up Dale...... just get her to flush her bucket out first.
Dale is no bird, shes an escaped hermaphrodite circus freak.
 
#11
Moodybitch said:
Mighty_doh_nut said:
chickenpunk said:
I'm getting on a bit you know, it cheers me up to think I've still got a chance with the birds...
You could always lob one up Dale...... just get her to flush her bucket out first.
Dale is no bird, shes an escaped hermaphrodite circus freak.
So you have seen me with the tigers then Moody????? While you were noshing the clown off?
 
#12
FFS!!!! I didn't know Cutaway had gone in to the Publishing business now as well as Modern (ie Scat) Art!!!!
 
#13
Cuts got hooked on Corpses after he raped Dale :D

He said it was like poking a corpse..... lifeless and smelly :D :D :D
 
#14
Mighty_doh_nut said:
Cuts got hooked on Corpses after he raped Dale :D

He said it was like poking a corpse..... lifeless and smelly :D :D :D
Do you think its something to do with the Soodd Effrikkun sun? Think it does a certain something to the decompsition that drives Cuts mad and makes him pine for it? :lol:
 
E

error_unknown

Guest
#15
Getting back to the subject in hand, I once saw a documentary about the whereabouts of Eva Peron's embalmed corpse, which eventually tracked it down to some Italian cemetary. It also featured the revelation that the embalming had been particularly effective, a la Lenin, and Mrs Peron did look very life-like. Consequently, when Juan Peron's regime fell and the body was removed to the custody of the new secret police chief from the Peronist Party HQ, a senior officer there was found to be regularly chucking one up it. Nice.

Still, it brought to mind the little-heard last verse of Andrew Lloyd-Webber's 'Don't Cry for Me Argentina':

'Don't Cry for Me Argentina,
The truth is indeed distressing,
As I was lying,
There in my coffin,
Some filthy dago,
Gave me a boffing'

:D
 
#16
Whats wrong with shagging dale how can some thing that feels so good be so wromg
 
#17
There was the one about the two morurge techs doing an autposy on a female floater fished out of the local river...

'Her clit is like a pickle' says the first.

Second sez 'green'?

'No sour' wheezed the first...

:mrgreen:
 
#18
ahh (hack)....umm Morgue...Autopsy (sp) Yoiu Noooo


A man who worked in the morgue of UCLA's medical school was arrested for chopping up and selling the body parts of corpses for a profit. I heard he was charging an arm and a leg.
 
#19
two blokes working on a railway line.

1 - there was a chick down here, wonderful legs and huge t*ts, really dirty; done her up the dirty freckle and alsorts.

2 - did she give head?

1 - dunno, couldn't find it :twisted:
 
#20
Ah, necrophilia: the uncontrollable urge to crack open a cold one.

:twisted:
 
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