Navy translations

Discussion in 'The Lamp and Sandbag II - The Tall Story Strikes B' started by FunkyNewBlood, Jun 3, 2005.

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  1. Meant with love and humour people:

    If, like me, you have been unfortunate to have served with our Navel brothers, you may have been left wondering "what the mother are they on about?".

    Well fear not my friends, this is the shipshape Navy translation guide!

    I still couldnt find the mysterious "Golden rivet......."


  2. Get hold of a copy of 'Jack Speak'. I can't remember the author's name, but he's an ex Matelot. It's hillarious.

    Wellies from the Queen - Issue condoms

    (Re-supply at Sea (RAS)) RAS Astern - taking it up the arrse.

    There's loads of them. If you can get a copy, do so. One of the funniest 'Service' reads I have had the pleasure of.

    Bernoulli will probably be able to point you in the right direction.
  3. Ventress

    Ventress LE Moderator

    You obviously didnt bend over enough, or they didnt like the skid marks that presented!
  4. OldSnowy

    OldSnowy LE Moderator Book Reviewer

    Jack Speak - a great read, good cartoons, and some fine terminology:

    'Getting off at Fratton' - the Jack's term for Coitus Interuptus (See SW Trains maps of the rail network London to Portsmouth) :D

    I've worked with Matelots a great deal, and this book has been essential, explaining about uckers, big eats, bombheads and foo-foo powder.
  5. Ventress

    Ventress LE Moderator

    Luckily I am married to sailor and she has acts as an interupter!
  6. Dobby Dust. Washing powder
  7. has she found the rivet?

    Had to ask.......
  8. Used to take great delight when asked the time I would say "just after 4 bells" :lol: used to throw the brown jobs completely.

    quick matelot joke:
    Jack has been at sea for many a year and decides to get his end away for the first time in ages so visits the local knocking shop.........gets at it and asks the whore "how am I doing?"
    "3 knots" she replied.
    "3 knots?" he queried.
    "Yep" she replied, "You're not hard, you're not in,.....and your not getting your money back!!" :lol: :lol:
  9. Rick Jolly, as in Surg Cdr Rick Jolly of Falkland fame, he has done a few of them including tri-service staff officer speak and CR quotes. :D

    all available on Amazon
  10. Did you get those phrases from "Pirates of the Caribbean"? :)

    As mentioned, get "Jackspeak" by Rick Jolly.
  11. Aden just before we left. Joint HQ got knickers in twist re non compliance with 101 re naming of members of other arms. Instructed each Branch to stress the point by general orders.
    RAF wrote long, politically correct, note reference respect and pointed out that correct terms were 'sailors' and 'soldiers'
    Army effort stressed likelihood of confusion and need for correct terminology. Must use 'sailors' and 'airmen'
    Navy wrote short note "Henceforth, pongoes to be called soldiers. Penguins to be called airmen. End.